tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post4509170840233273722..comments2024-03-06T14:38:23.226-08:00Comments on And then she recovered.......: Blood is thicker than water?Ruby Tuesdayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15078080281794429051noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-46394566339188247462014-03-04T17:15:22.876-08:002014-03-04T17:15:22.876-08:00Your dad has a right to be frustrated and angry bu...Your dad has a right to be frustrated and angry but no right to react like that.<br /><br />My family knows nothing about my food problems. They find my brother's drug addiction more acceptable than my prescription antidepressants.<br /><br />Love you Ruby <3Peridot (G+P)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07055351645100012755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-22642617406555733032014-02-27T04:31:14.777-08:002014-02-27T04:31:14.777-08:00Keep in mind that the original saying goes, "...Keep in mind that the original saying goes, "The Blood of the Covenant is Thicker than the Water of the Womb"... your readers will always love and support you, so if he is hindering your wellness, you are more than justified in cutting him from your life until he can be trusted to meddle in it.<br /><br />Be well. :)Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03057600629967164665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-87419923360380009212014-02-22T05:44:57.043-08:002014-02-22T05:44:57.043-08:00I understand that dealing with severe, debilitatin...I understand that dealing with severe, debilitating mental illness is draining for your parents as well as you. I understand why there would be periods when they are not at their best because they are utterly helpless as they watch you destroy yourself.<br /><br />But what he did is not ok. He violated your physical boundaries (and the face is a VERY personal area) and deliberately caused pain. It is no less abuse than if he had outright slapped you. He said and did things that hurt you then acted like the fact that you were hurt was not important. NOT OK.<br /><br />I hope that he will at least go to see Mary. As an addict himself he obviously has a limited toolkit for dealing with conflict and stress. Learning some ways to cope and communicate could really help you both.Tempesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17231346516896123249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-25168655869635110892014-02-21T22:20:17.289-08:002014-02-21T22:20:17.289-08:00Oh Ruby, I'm so sorry. He had absolutely no ri...Oh Ruby, I'm so sorry. He had absolutely no right to lash out like that, let alone physically hurt you. I feel so sad for you dear. You have enough going on as it is without your dad adding extra stress and negativity. Please do ask Mary about having a session with him. It could do a lot of good. As Alie suggested above, maybe going to a support group for family members of people with EDs could be helpful for him. <br /><br />For the most part, I think I have a pretty amazing family when it comes to my ED, and mental health in general. My brother was mentally ill too when he was younger, so it's been a part of daily life for quite some time. They're always supportive and we've always talked about mental illness in a very open and honest way. But I know my family do get tired of me and my behaviors at times, and I really don't blame them, I know it can't be easy to live with me, but it's rare that they lash out at me like your dad did to you. <br /><br />A particularly horrible psychiatrist once told me that my family would get tired of me and my issues, that everyone I loved would leave me. No matter how much they tell me it won't happen, it still upsets me and I honestly believe they will leave one day. He also told me that there were two approaches to 'dealing with people like me'. There's the 'tough love' aggressive way, and there's the supportive empathetic way. He chose the aggressive way. I know it works for others, but like you it only makes me sink lower and lower. <br /><br />Lots of love to you sweetheart. You're in my thoughts, always. <br />xxBellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07544398450025713725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-11287268489036352332014-02-21T21:03:16.169-08:002014-02-21T21:03:16.169-08:00I'm so sorry this happened, and it's incre...I'm so sorry this happened, and it's incredibly hurtful and upsetting. I think a session with Mary for you and your dad together is a really good idea. It seems like he was lashing out with his own feelings of helplessness, but it would be good if he could find/use an outlet that's healthy for all involved. Maybe therapy for him for a while? Maybe a support group of some sort? Good luck!Aliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10715046132281175549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-29791903364059104352014-02-21T20:38:06.055-08:002014-02-21T20:38:06.055-08:00Ruby, I think your father was misguided and frustr...Ruby, I think your father was misguided and frustrated... Hopefully he has learned his lesson that no can push or bully anyone into change.. they have to want it for themselves... hugs to you girl, you are always in my thoughts :)Launna https://www.blogger.com/profile/09447311902825477772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-56387163392533559692014-02-21T15:31:43.909-08:002014-02-21T15:31:43.909-08:00I am so sorry that your dad reacted the way that h...I am so sorry that your dad reacted the way that he did. It wasn't fair for him to assume something, although everyone that lives with someone with an ed does assume. His behavior was unacceptable. My dad is the same way when it comes to my eating disorder. He makes jokes about how skinny I am or will make jokes that I am eating too much. It's very hurtful. I hope that next time he comes to your house, that he will treat you with more respect. Sending my thoughts and love your way.<br />XOXOKatie Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04593566837532308985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-25583561193600594262014-02-21T15:03:09.071-08:002014-02-21T15:03:09.071-08:00Ruby I am so sorry that on top of everything you n...Ruby I am so sorry that on top of everything you now feel hurt by someone you love. Reading this brought tears to my eyes because in some ways I have acted similarly to my husband at times. Sometimes I fail at separating his illness from him and get upset about the manic or psychotic episode he is having. I have yelled at him, made passive aggressive comments and been sarcastic numerous times and I know that it was just hurtful and far from helpful. It was all due to frustration with the illness and helplessness I feel in wanting to take care of him. By no means is it acceptable and I have come to understand my feelings and what actions and tools I should use instead. I hope for you and your father that this is a one time only situation and that with Mary you can process this in a meaningful way. Your father might not be okay with seeing Mary with you and that would be very frustrating but he might not be fully able to process his feelings at this time. You said he has been sober for a few years but he still has some of the horrible issues and actions that comes with addition, you might not feel like this is truly resolved for some time. But I hope you find peace.josie13https://www.blogger.com/profile/03988386743210558148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6562281218287648674.post-89944389927464983452014-02-21T07:40:37.496-08:002014-02-21T07:40:37.496-08:00Ruby, I wonder if he's trying (and failing) at...Ruby, I wonder if he's trying (and failing) at providing tough love. I think a session with the two of you and Mary is a good idea. <br /><br />I wish I could say something to make things better.JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00589237733456653239noreply@blogger.com