Sunday 25 January 2015

Great Baba?

I had had some very strange comments on my post about The Boy
Comments directing me to spell casters
To get what ever I want
Here are some of the comments

From Elizabeth Rosas Bella
After being in relationship with emma for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL
ADDRESS IS:drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

From Anonymous
First of all, these are just my opinions, accept or disregard them as you
see fit. Magic is a complex subject and its practitioners are a diverse
lot. I offer the following tips as a sort of "community service" because
i'd hate to think of all the vulnerable and needy folks out there who may
get hosed by an unethical magic worker.
i will like you to contact DOCTOREDEHSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM
When you are down and out - heartbroken, poor, lonely - it is easy to be
taken advantage of - this is true in all regards, but with magic in
particular. Magic has a veil of secrecy; it seems exotic and unattainable
by the uninitiated - and in some instances it is. Many folks who seek to
have magic done on their behalf know little about the subject - they just
have a willing and open mind without knowing a lot, and therefore they are
easy prey for civilians out there, unethical fakes who have flashy ads with
mysterious and real-sounding credentials who take your money and do no
magic on behalf of their paying clients. To me this is criminal, a
monumental betrayal of sacred trust.

Any way, as a confession right off the bat and to avoid any appearance of
impropriety, i myself do magic for people and sometimes offer my services
on eBay and Facebook Google and what have you.This being the case, i have
no ulterior motives in writing this guide, nor do i wish to advertise my
own work. There are a whole host of good, ethical magic practitioners out
there, and you will be Spirit-led to the one who is a best fit for you.
Not all workers are one-spell-fits-all, they all have their own gifts and
specialties, and they all take different clients. In any event, i keep my
workload down to it maximum

1.he cure HIV
2.Retrieve all lost money
3.help you to get in touch all fraudsters who ate your money
4.bring your ex lover back
5.help you to enchant your lover
6.power for ministration
7.fame and power
8.can also be a teacher if you wish to be a spell practitioner

i will like you to contact DOCTOREDEHSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM
From Paul Annie
Great Baba is a trust worthy spell caster and he will be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 5 years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Great Baba whom i met online after my friend James Tricia told me how he also helped her to bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided to give Great Baba a try and i contacted him on his email Highersolutiontemple@yahoo.com and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it was a lie but i took courage and believed as Great Baba has said and it did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and very soon we are expecting our baby. Great Baba is really a gifted and a powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems just Contact Great Baba on his email on Highersolutiontemple@yahoo.com at anytime and just visit GREATBABAOFSOLUTION.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his good and wonderful work. Just contact him and he will help you solve all your problems. Once again thank you Great Baba Thank you, thank you.


Very strange me thinks
Have any of you had any comments like this?

Saturday 24 January 2015

Addiction

I went  out for dinner last night
With my sister and her friend
We decided to go to a local pub
As it has great food
We arrived there around 7pm
Believe it or not
That is late for me to be out
Usually I am in my pyjamas by the time it gets dark
The food was lovely
I had beef and Guinness casserole
It was delicious
But I couldn't finish it
As time passed
More and more people came in to the pub
It was a Friday night
So people were relaxing after a hard weeks work
And letting their hair down

Two girls came in at one point
I heard them saying that one of the girls was 18 that day
And everyone was wishing her Happy Birthday
And buying her drinks
As I watched all the different groups of people
Chatting
Laughing
Having the 'craic' as we say in this country
I began to feel a little uncomfortable
I couldn't identify the feeling at first
Somewhere between resentment and longing
Resentful that I couldn't have a drink
And longing to be able to be part of that world
As you know
I don't drink
I had to stop
As when I drank
I drank far too much
And got in to so much trouble
I could never have just one drink
And marvelled at people who could have just one
And leave it at that
When I started drinking
I couldn't stop
Not for love nor money

Every now and then
I get really annoyed that I can't drink like a normal person
I see my brother have a pint
Or someone having a glass of wine with dinner
A civilized drink
I miss being able to have a drink
But then I never drank for the taste
I drank to get drunk
To get trashed
Out of my head
I drank to help my confidence
To talk to people
To be sociable
I drank for all the wrong reasons

So I was sitting in the pub last night
And I now know that what I was feeling was jealous
Jealous of that girl
Who had just become an adult
And had her whole life ahead of her
Jealous of the people who could have a drink
And leave it at that
Jealous of the fun I was missing out on
The laughter
The banter
The fun
I miss that

I keep having to remind myself
That I am not like everyone else
I am not like those people who can have a social drink
I am an addict
One is too many
And a thousand never enough
I remember the first time I went to treatment
I was told that I could never drink again
If I wanted to be clean and sober
I couldn't drink at all
I couldn't get my head around this
And didn't really believe that I had to stop drinking
When I left treatment I did drink
And of course that lead me back to drugs
It was only years later that I finally realized that my drinking was out of control
And I had to stop
If I wanted to lead any semblance of a normal life

When I start feeling nostalgic about using or drinking
When I start to think it's a good idea
When I am craving
When I want out of my own head
I don't have to look very far
To remind myself of the damage that addiction does
I don;t have to look further than my next door neighbours

I don't think I have written about them before
As I don't tend to talk about other people here on my blog
I won't go in to too ,much detail
But I will just give you a general idea of what their life is like
They are an elderly couple
In their 70's
And they are both alcoholics
The lead an incredibly limited and sad life
They are not in touch with their families
They never have any visitors
Their life is a very lonely one
There  has been trouble in that house over the years
When they're drunk
They fight
And I have been over their numerous times trying to keep the peace
The cops have also been called on occasion

A couple of years ago
The woman drank so much that she got a 'wet brain'
A wet brain happens when you drink so much
That you become a vegetable
She was in hospital for months
Didn't know her own name
And didn't know us when we went in to visit her
Thankfully she made a remarkable recovery
Although I am not sure if she drinks now

Last Monday night
We saw an ambulance leave their house
My Mum rang to see what had happened
The man had been taken to hospital
After an alleged stroke
We called in the next day
The woman told us that her husband had been sick since Friday
He speech was slurred
But the woman thought it was from drink
So she didn't become worried until the Monday
When he deteriorated a lot
She rang the doctor Monday lunch time
And even though she said it was an emergency
The doctor didn't arrive until late evening
When he immediately called the ambulance

I have been calling over every day
To do some jobs for her
Let her dog out
Collect her shopping
And pay her bills
Her husband is in a very bad state in hospital
And it is likely that he won't pull through
Even though he is at deaths door
He still managed to get alcohol in to the hospital
I asked the woman today of drink contributed to his condition
She said it definitely had
And that if she had rang  the ambulance sooner
He might not have deteriorated so much

This situation with my neighbours breaks my heart
And is a stark reminder of the damage and destruction that addiction does
Yes I am not like everyone else
I can't drink
Because if I do
I could  end up like these people
Alone
Sick
Isolated
Completely f**ked up
Not drinking is a small price to pay
For my sanity
My peace of mind
My families peace of mind
And my heath
In my opinion
Alcohol is the worst drug there is
Especially in this country
We are a nation of drinkers
And the damage is untold
So many families torn apart by drink
So I will thank my lucky stars that I have got out of y addiction relatively unscathed
I look at my neighbours
And I think
There but for the grace of God go I
I am out of that game
I managed to get off that merry-go-round
I am one of the lucky ones

Thursday 22 January 2015

The Boy: First meeting

Ok
So you know that I've been in contact with The Boy
The boy being my ex boyfriends best friend
We've been texting back and forth over the last few weeks
Talking about meeting up
But it never seemed to happen
So Wednesday I decided to take the bull by the horns
And suggested we meet up yesterday
In a local coffee shop
I was both thrilled and terrified when he replied
And the date was set for 3pm

Thankfully
I met a friend in the morning
And was able to ground myself
I really didn't want my feelings to cloud my judgement
And as you know I am impulsive and compulsive 
And can't always trust myself
So talking with my friend was great

I do not exaggerate when I say I was high on nerves all day
I still hadn't told any of my family that I was meeting The Boy
But when I told my sister I was going out to meet someone
She straight away knew I was up to something
So I told her where I was going
She also gave me a pep talk
And offered to ring me mid date 
If I needed an escape
I declined her offer
As the only reason I would have needed an escape is if he was out of his head
Or blatantly using
And  I was pretty sure he wasn't
Although I wasn't positive

Then I had to figure out what to wear
I wanted to look casual but pretty
Effortless but put together
So I decided on my blue Fat Face jumper
My wine coloured Brakeburn trousers 
My new Roxy high tops
And my Superdry snood
I also straightened my hair
And ruffled it so it looked tousled and shaggy
I decided against make up
Because I have no idea how to apply make up properly
And I didn't want to look too done up
So I applied a little foundation
Just enough to give me youthful glow

We were meeting at three
So I decided to leave early
As I wanted to be the first one to get there
I settled on a comfy couch
Ordered a cup of tea
And tried to look relaxed and confident
A few minutes later
And I get a text from the boy saying he is running a few minutes late
Damn
All this waiting was making me even more nervous
I started to worry
About what we would talk about
What he would think of me
What if idid or said something really embarrassing
What if the second I saw him
I jumped his bones
This was a lot more likely to happen than you would think
Remember I haven't dated in a long long time

To get out of my head
I picked up a newspaper 
I was sitting by the door
Do every time the door opened 
I looked up to see if it was him
Eventually he arrived
And apologised for being late 
He sat down beside me on the couch
He looked different to what I remembered
When I knew him years ago
He had a shaven head
Tattoos all over
Clean shaven
Now he has long hair
And a beard no less 
I think I said before that he is attractive in a kind of earthy manly way
Lovely eyes
 And a smile that could break hearts 

We got straight to catching up
Talked about people we knew
Where they are now
Talked about the drug
And how fucked up we were back then
We laughed
Laughed a lot
Always a good sign in my book
He told me that he has a son
And he is single
What a coincidence
So am I

We chatted for a long time
Then he went out for a smoke
And I went to the bathroom
We settled back down again
And spoke for another while
It was nice
No awkward silences
He is easy to talk to
Easy to get on with
But then
He always was

After a couple of hours
I stretched
And said I better go
We finished our drinks
And went outside
Then came the awkward bit
We had said good bye
Yet we were still standing looking at each other
I was thinking to myself should I hug him?
Does he want to kiss me?
I really couldn't gauge the situation
And I felt so silly just standing there
So I made a move to go
And said goodbye again
Even though it was obvious he was holding out for something
Sorry dude
I don't kiss on the first date
Actually that's a lie
I have kissed plenty of boys on a first date
But there was one big difference
I was either drunk or stoned
Dealing with dating and the like stone cold sober is a whole different kettle of fish let me tell you
I need to pace myself 

I got home and had a chat with my sister
I told her that I think I just want us to be friends
But I'm really not sure
I guess I don't know what I want
I felt a bit bad that I hadn't at least hugged him when I left
So I decided to text him
To tell him that it was great to see him
And to text me when he wants to meet again
He texted back and said it was great to see me too
And that I 'looked great'
What does that mean?
What does that mean people?
Is he just being nice?
Or does he like me?
Man I am so rusty and out of practice

Even though this is all very nerve wracking and confusing
I must say
It is great fun
I had forgotten how nice it feels to like someone
To get butterflies
I think this is progress ladies
Even if nothing happens between me and him
At least I have had some fun
And made a new friend

Now
Next mission
Second date here I come.......

Wednesday 21 January 2015

On the mend

Honey is getting a little better everyday
She is sleeping a lot
And generally taking it easy
We are spoiling her
And looking after her as best we can
Here she is today
She didn't want to get out of her new bed
So I got in with her







The scales

As you know
I smashed my scales last week
So my house is now a scale free zone
And what what a revelation that is
Over Christmas
I was weighing every day
At least once a day
And carefully recorded the number in my notebook
It's addictive
That feeling of standing on the scale
And seeing how much you're  worth
Is so addictive
But it is a game of numerical roulette
The number goes up and I spiral in to a black hole of depression
The number goes down and I sky rocket in to euphoria
I was literally measuring my worth in pounds and ounces
That number dictated my mood for the day
My self esteem
And my self worth
All dictated by those little red numbers

I didn't miss my scale at first
But a few days in
And I was dying to know
I even thought about buying  new scale
But I decided not too
No good can come of it
I am going by clothes
And they fit me just fine
So I'm ok with that

My body image is a bit all over the place at the moment
Sometimes I look in the mirror 
And I want to cry
Sometimes I think I look ok
Sometimes I think I look something approaching good
It changes from day to day
Minute to minute
And is subject to change at the drop of a hat

But you know what?
Not weighing myself every day is something of s revelation
When I threw my first scales in to the lake
I knew there was another one in the house 
So I knew I could still find out my weight if I wanted to
But this time
Well now my house is scale free
I have to tell you
It is so liberating
Apart from the odd time when I get an urge to weigh
I feel positively free
Like a heavy weight has been lifted off my  shoulders
Literally
The scale was my best friend
And my worst enemy
Depending on the number I was
I'd get up in the morning
Go to the bathroom
Then strip
And stand tentatively on the scale
Holding my breath as if the air in my lungs would effect the number
Before I stood on the scale
I would have a number in my head
A safe number
Anything under that number would be gone
But anything more
And the shit would really hit the fan

So now I have no earthly clue what my weight is
And I don't think I want to know
All I know is that I feel ok in my skin
Not fantastic
But not unbearable either
I can tolerate myself 
Most of the time 
My clothes fit fine
And are even a bit loose
So I feel safe in the knowledge that my weight is settling down
And is becoming stable
Thank you Jesus
My weight is stabilising 

I feel like I am getting back to myself
After a rocky Christmas
Getting my meds daily has really helped
As I have no opportunity to misuse them
I feel clear headed
Capable and strong
And generally in better form
Now I just need to stay on track
Head down
Bum up 
And keep on going 

Tuesday 20 January 2015

Home sweet Home

Honey is home
My dad brought her here a couple of hours ago
She is still quite sedated
And got straight in to her bed
After having a little something to eat
Her eye doesn't look as bad as I thought it would
But 
It's obvious that it is tender
And she is in a bit of discomfort
My father told me that the vet didn't want to say it in front of me
But she was in a lot of pain the last couple of weeks
So I am so relieved that she is on the road to recovery
The vet also told us that Honey is in great health
And will be around for the next 5-7 years
I was so glad to hear this

I guess what Honey needs now is lashings of TLC
My dad told me that Honey slept in his bed last night
And Honey woke him up this morning licking his face

So Honey is home
Back where she belongs
We look after her
And spoil her
And just make sure she is ok
I am so proud of her
As she just takes things in her stride
And gets on with life
She could teach me a thing or too
Here is the Honey Bunny......






Honey's operation

My sister and Honey and I travelled to my dads home town yesterday morning
Where we had an appointment with the vet at 11 30am
The roads were quite slippy 
So we really had to take our time driving
Honey slept soundly in the back seat the whole way
We arrived at my dads
Changed cars
And made our way to the vets
After speaking to the girl at reception
The vet called us in to the surgery
He was lovely to Honey
And petted her and spoke to her for a few minutes before examining her
Honey didn't even growl or anything

After Honey was feeling comfortable
The vet checked her little eye
He winced as he looked at it
Then took out a little torch
And checked it as I held her eye open
He said the eye was rupturing
And the only option was to remove it
As she was in pain
He was so very sure that the eye was dead
And she had no sight
The vet then checked her weight and heart
To make sure she was fit for surgery
He said that if Honey weighed any more
Surgery wouldn't have been possible
Honey is over weight
And that is something that I really need to address when she gets well
We left Honey in the vets capable hands
Hoping she would be ok
We would ring in the afternoon to check on her
And my dad would pick her up that evening 

My sister and I wanted to get home early
As the weather wasn't great
So we had a quick bite to eat
And set off for home
My dad rang the vets before we left
The operation went well
There were no complications
And she could be picked up in a few hours
I was so glad it went well
I couldn't wait to see her 

That evening my dad rang me to let me know that Honey was home in his house
She was very sedated
And was sleeping peacefully
She got up once
And was very confused
So my dad brought her bed in beside the fire where she went back to sleep
I rang this morning to check on her 
And she is still sleeping

All being well
My dad will bring her here today
I am so looking forward to seeing her
I have been so worried
Here are a couple of photos from yesterday