Dance, dance, dance

I'm still feeling the effects of the diet pills I took yesterday, queasy and just a feeling of all I want to do is lie down and sleep. Note to self, don't take them again.

A few weeks ago I signed up to do a Strictly Come Dancing type fundraiser for a charity in my area. Our performance is in 2 weeks. So my dance partner called in this morning to practise. I was feeling pretty shit but we need the practise. It went well. I actually love dancing. It's one of the only things that takes my mind off my ed. Our dance is 1920's themed, the charleston etc. It's coming together.

Foodwise today I haven't been that hungry so I didn't binge or purge at all. Usually Sunday is a big b/p fest for me because I'm usually in the house on my own and have nothing on. On a Sunday I usually go to the supermarket in the morning, fill a huge shopping bag with binge food, not forgetting 7up free to help bring it all back up and walk out of the shop. I have an irrational fear that the person working on the checkout knows what I'm going to do with all this food so to save myself the embarrassment I bypass them. I'm not condoning shoplifting at all and I never steal at any other time but I do this the odd time and yes I am ashamed of it and I do worry what people who read this will think. But this is the reality of my ed and as hard as it is to admit these things I have to be honest. As I said I haven't b/p today, all I've really had to eat is tea and toast. Ididn't weigh today either, I've decided I'm going to weigh on Wednesday morning and hopefully will see a loss.

My mood is ok today, I dragged myself out of bed reluctantly this morning but I think the dance practise cheered me up.

Til tomorrow,

Much love,

Rubyxxx