The Girl

My eating disorder is so all consuming that sometimes I forget that there is a person beyond the illness
I've been diagnosed with so many labels - drug addict, alcoholic, anorexic, bulimic, depression and anxiety
It's easy to forget that I'm much more than just a bundle of diagnoses



Writing this 'About me' section has really got me thinking 'Who  is Ruby?' and 'What am I all about?'

So here goes-

Books

First and foremost I'm a huge book worm. My house is heaving with books
A few of my favourites are -     'The best of everything'  by Rona Jaffe
                                                 'Wintergirls'  by Laurie Halse Anderson
                                                 'The Bell Jar'  by Sylvia Plath
                                                 'Junky'  by William S Burroughs


I read my favourite books over and over again. The characters are like my friends. The stories describe my life. They put in to words what I am not able to






Writing
Since starting this blog in May 2012 I discovered that I have a love of writing. I used to study ballet and that was how I expressed myself. Since I gave it up I became increasingly frustrated as I has no outlet for my feelings.
Now writing has given me that outlet. Writing helps to clear my head, to make sense of something.
After writing I feel like a weight has been lifted, like a pressure has been released






My dogs
I'm a huge animal lover
When I first got clean off drugs I got 2 rescue dogs from the local shelter
'Lea' a beautiful golden retriever and 'Honey' a feisty little terrier
These dogs have saved my life over and over again.  When I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, I got up for them.  When I didn't want to leave the house, I left to walk them.
They take me out of myself and give unconditional love

Dancing
I love to dance.  I studied ballet and jazz for years and I wanted to become a dancer.  It was my absolute passion. But as a teenager I started dabbling in drugs and lost all interest. It is my only regret that I gave up my beloved ballet.  Now I dance for fun, it's something that brings me real joy. Whether it's in my bedroom with the radio on full blast or in a class doing salsa or zumba. I also used to teach hip hop to kids. Dancing is a natural high for me.






T.V
I'm a huge movie, tv and box set fan
My favourite box sets are -
The Sopranos - wtached back to back 3 times
Grey's Anatomy - Ditto
Weeds - could identify with that one!
Breaking Bad - tried meth once, never again!



My favourite tv programmes at  the moment are -
Girls - so funny, so real
Downton Abbey - I was born in the wrong part of this century
Homeland - gotta love Brody
Any food related programme eg Come dine with me



Music
Music is a big escape for me
At the moment I'm listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey
Bat for Lashes




Other tidbits about me -

I'm a dreamer




I'm passionate, if I like something I absolutely love it, if I don't like it, I hate it



I love the smell of toast

I love waking up in the morning and realising that I don't have to get up

I'm not happy

I'm more of a listener than a talker

I love clothes - At the moment I am wearing a lot of leggings as they are just so forgiving

I love tea - I drink copious amounts

My favourite food is Italian (although I rarely let myself eat it)



I'm a bit lost

I am the baby of the family and am treated so

I love to travel

I'm a  former smoker, I smoked for over 20 years. I am now off them over a year

My best feature is my eyelashes - no need for falsies here



I'm a loyal friend

My favourite colours are purple and navy

Sometimes I feel hopeless



My dream job is to help others overcome addictions and eating disorders

In my head I'm still 16

I'd love to be able to sing but I don't have a note in my head

My worst feature is my feet

I love the smell of puppies and babies

If I could choose a super power, I'd like to be able to fly

I'm a typical virgo



I get depressed easily

Before