I know I said a few posts back that I wasn't going to take diet pills anymore but I've already binged and purged 2 times already and it's only lunchtime. Taking the pill is the only thing that stops my ravenous hunger in it's tracks. True it makes me feel like shit but that's the lesser of two evils at this point.
I'm going to see Mary in half an hour and that means the dreaded weigh in. The last time she weighed me I was down a bit but I have a feeling that won't be the case today. We shall see.
Had my second last dance practise last night, it really is coming together and I love my outfit, a1920'S black flapper dress complete with feather headband, boa and the mandatory cigarette holder (coz smoking is cool don't ya know)
So the group has got to know each other by this stage and we're all pretty comfortable around each other. That is apart from me. I feel like I'm socially handicapped these days. When I'm around a group of people I get all anxious and can't think of anything to say and usually end up saying something totally random and stupid. I find it especially hard around the girls as one of two subjects always come up. Weight and alcohol. Now I don't drink anymore (see alcohol and drug addiction age 18 - 23) so I really can't contribute to the 'how much did you drink at the weekend' conversation and people tend to interrogate me when I tell them I don't drink. Then there's the weight conversation. One girl told me she's trying to lose 10lbs. Cue me saying 'but you don't need to lose weight, your tiny'. I don't join in on the 'I need to lose weight' thing because it would just sound stupid because in their eyes I probably look like I don't need to lose weight. So yeah my social skills are pretty rusty, I usually think of something clever to say 10 minutes after the conversation has ended. Does that ever happen to you?
Yikes, I'm late, better go, wouldn't want to miss my weigh in.
Hope you are all well,
Lots of lovexxx
Hey :) I absolutely adore your outfit it, love that 1920s look! They were so cool back in those days, and the women all looked petite and dainty, I love it.
ReplyDeleteand that always happens to me, I tend to divert the attention away and try ask loads of questions and get them talking about themselves and then theres the thinking of something to say after - always happens to me. I am the lemon.
Hope your weigh in is ok, ps what diet pills do you use and where are they from? I am thinking of trying some..
Lots of love x
Glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles in social situations. I do that too, ask lots of questions to keep the focus off myself. I'm a lemon too!
DeleteTo answer your question I got the diet pills off the internet but I wouldn't advise using them as the side effects are not nice eg feeling queasy, jittery and just generally out of sorts. I only take them as a last resort and I'm always sorry I took them.
Great to have you back in the blogosphere, missed you.
Lots of lovexxx
There seems to be loads of these pills out there right now - I am seriously considering it now - desperate times..
DeleteYou sound like less of a lemon than me - at least you can dance and by the sounds of it you're good at it too! Hoping it goes well for you ps I will reply to you properly, seeing the bf was a last min thing so don't know if I'll be able to reply tonight my phone doesn't let me for some reason! Hope your ok much love xxx
We can be lemons together!
DeletePlease be careful if you do decide to buy diet pills just coz of side effects and I think they can be addictive.
Much lovexxx
Oh, diet pills.
ReplyDeleteI am already screwed up enough as it is, really do not need something else contributing to it, haha.
Ooh, the 1920's were so amazing in terms of fashion!
Love it!
Good luck with your weigh in my dear!
*hugs*
Stay positive, stay beautiful. <3
Thanks for your comment.
DeleteDefinitely won't be taking the diet pills again, they left me feeling so sick today.
Lots of love to youxxx
I was considering diet pills a couple weeks ago. That way I knew that if anything did make it to my stomach, the pills would take care of it. Your costume sounds amazingly cute. Hope your weigh in goes well. Keep your head up hun.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Thanks katie,
DeleteBig virtual hugxxx
Hey, I hope everything went well at your appointment. I know what you mean about diet pills. That is going to be one of my topics. I like this chinese one call fruta planta. It really works. I am waiting until I have some extra money so I can order some more my god I need some more bad.
ReplyDeleteI am getting excited about the performance as well. Yes flappers are totally cool. Not sure if my plus size body would look good in it but whatever :-) Don't be nervous, you are going to do awesome. If I was there I would totally go to your show.
Thanks Winter.
DeleteI've never heard of that diet pill. Is it herbal?
Hope you are wellxxx
Yes it is and it works. Of course the governement found out about it and banned it but I know where to get it. I mean I swear they want america overweight so they can get our money. Really sad.....
DeleteYour outfit sounds fabulous:) Hope your appointment went well and good luck with your dance performance! xx
ReplyDeleteThank you,
DeleteHope it all goes well.
Lots of love to youxxx
Happens to me all the time, the best things come in usually too late. I'm social but only when I really push myself and get on the attitude for it. People say I tend to do it weirdly, saying compliments and finding things that are in common but still I am not asking questions and hazarding their privacy. But that happens only sometimes... not too often, normally I'm the one who pushes the back against the wall and wishes to disappear.
ReplyDeleteYour outfit surely sounds fun. I love the look, and love that someone has actually guts to put those things on. I may be weird but I kinda think that there's beauty in every single thing or style or substance. So I bet you look amazing in it.
hey tatyana,
DeleteThanks for your comment and for following me.
My therapist tells me that most people feel some awkwardness in social situations it just doesn't show so we're not alone. I also give compliments and try to find things in common.
Much love to youxxx
Im still having trouble following :S
ReplyDeleteI have trouble with the social thing too, especially at work, because that's all they talk about and they all drink afterwards, but I have no desire to because I don't want the calories, I don't trust myself and I already know I have an addictive personality and I don't want to end up like my dad did (chronic alcoholic) :/ and then weight is just always awkward!
Hope the dancing goes great though! The costume sounds very cool :)
Lottie x