I've been on a methadone programme for the past 7 years. This as basically a drug substitute, it's like a stepping stone between using drugs and being 100% clean. So being on the programme means I have to see my doctor every week for a urine test and stay clean. I started off on quite a high dose but am now down to quite a low dose with the goal to be completely off it by this christmas. This is a good thing but it also scares the shit out of me. Methadone helps with cravings so I'm afraid that when I'm off it that the cravings will come back. I would rather die than go back to a life of drug addiction. It's actually quite similar to my eating disorder just a different substance. Now there will be a lot of positives to coming of it eg my teeth. Methadone is a sickly sweet syrup and taking it everyday means it has affected my teeth badly. Also travelling is a pain and I'm often stopped by customs so I have to have a doctors letter with me. I suppose I'm scared of relapsing so I'll just have to be very careful over the next few months.
I didn't weigh this morning but think I will tomorrow morning. I'm seeing Mary very soon so I actually better go right now.
Lots of lovexxx
Relapse is the worse alternative, do what ever feels right for you.. I wish you all the best and I hope you have the strength to stay strong whatever you face x
ReplyDeleteI think they should let you continue taking it. I am yay for methadone. It helps a lot of people. I don't blame you for being scared. Just take it a day at a time and keep doing what you are doing. You are doing good.
ReplyDeleteYou're strong enough to not need ANYTHING. Food OR drugs, a life dependent on that "something" (whatever it is) is half a life........ What if the world ended and you couldn't get dope? Or you were trapped or kidnapped (not like that will ever happen, but what if you want to go on a really long trip around the world or something)? Then you'd be withdrawing in an already tough situation (slash be unable to take that ahhmazing journey around the globe). Be INDEPENDENT and be strong. YOU DON'T NEED IT.
ReplyDeleteIn short: nay on methadone.
p.s. I don't judge you for using whatever you need to, I'm just saying that from my own experience it feels SO GOOD to feel free from that evil necessity....
I am in the same situation and you have given me the courage to admit that on here... Thankyou. I've actually never meet anyone with an ED who is on Methodone also.. Id really like to talk more with you. You're an inspiration to me x
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