You know you have a problem when.........

You know you have a problem when you wake up in the morning and count the hours until it's time for bed again

When you spend more time with your dogs than you do with real people

You know you have a problem when your parents are afraid to leave you on your own

When number on the scale can send you spiralling in to a black hole of depression

When you look down and see there is vomit on your clothes

You know you have a problem when the number on the scale can send you sky rocketing in to euphoria

When  you are driving so fast you hope you will crash

When there is a constant war going on inside your head

You know you're losing it when you have a path worn between your kitchen and your bathroom



When you barely leave the house

When you feel like an emotional yo-yo

You know you are in danger when you're saving up your meds

When purging feels as natural as breathing

When you feel like you are broken beyond repair

You know you are sick when you enjoy the sound your stomach rumbling



When you wake up in the night because you are so hungry

When your thoughts are consumed with weights, food and numbers





You know you have a problem when you can't cry

When you can't remember the last time you laughed

You know something's wrong when you avoid your favourite foods

When you panic because you can't exercise

When sleep is the only peace of mind you get


You know you are getting worse when you push all your friends away

When you think about vanishing every day

When your sister won't let you babysit your nephew

It's a reflection of your state of mind when you have to psych yourself up to have a shower

When the number on the scale dictates your mood, self worth and self esteem




When you avoid the mirror at all costs




When you feel like you are dying inside

You know you are losing it when you feel so alone

When 12 years later you are still in the midst of this illness

When nothing else matters

When the future is too scary to think about

When you have a passive death wish

You know you have a problem when all your hopes and dreams have been dashed

When you feel like your thoughts are killing you

When numbers impact you more than words

When your afraid to have friends because you'll just let them down

When life scares you more than death

You know things are not right when you just want to walk out your front door and never come back

When losing weight is the only thing that matters

When you feel like you are going insane

When you have to make yourself think of reasons not to overdose



When you're lying to yourself everyday

When you're losing the will to live


                                                                -

You know you have a glimmer of hope when you won't let any of this stop you from getting well

You know you're going to be ok when you remember you have people around you who love you



When you look back over the last year and see how far you've come

When you wake up and think 'I can do this, just for today'

You know you can get well when you remember that you are stronger than your eating disorder

When you look in the mirror and don't hate what you see



When you remember that you are not a bad person and are in fact a good person

When you realise you have new hopes and dreams



You know you are winning the battle when the voice in your head is just a whisper now

When you do the opposite of what your eating disorder wants

When you wake up and think 'I don't want to die today'