I saw this over Izzy's blog this morning
And I thought it looked interesting
I think I am somewhere in between the two
Not quite 100% normal
But getting there
Purging has become something of a problem again
I don't know why
But I seem to be doing it more often these days
It has crept back in like the little evil little devil that it is
Is your eating normal?
No. It isn't...
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about your increased purging... Time for a plan? For your health as well as those pretty new teeth?
It can become addictive and ongrowing in as little as a week, as you know....
Take good care Ruby-sweet, cause you know...it comes back to haunt you as a tricky devil, the ED...
(L)
It has made a most unwelcome appearance A
DeleteI need to try and get some sort of ED proof plan in place
Before I end up back where I was
And I don't want that
I really don't want that
Love from a sunny sunny Ireland x
Not normal, nope. But then again, I was never just normal. Normal is relative.
ReplyDeleteGive it time, Ruby dear. Recovery would take a great amount of patience (at least, I imagine it would, though I've never been there myself), and it's good that at least, you know that it's evil.
Love,
Christie
True Christie
DeleteIt is relative
God I wish I was more patient
I want everything yesterday x
Mine neither. But I hope one day it will be. For us both. Regarding the purging, can your sister and Lea and Honey help out? And it may sound silly but are you eating enough, and regularly throughout the day? I know the past couple of days have been harder so it's unsurprising you turn to old habits that do "something", even if it's not quite what you want. It's so hard but I know there is one mega determined beautiful woman within you who can do this cxx
ReplyDeleteAwh that is so lovely of you to say C
DeleteI truly hope there is
And I hope both you and I get to where we want to be
I believe it is possible
I do
And yes, I need to ask for some help here
As left to my own devices I am royally f**king up
Take care C x
oh sh... according to this my eating is (mostly) normal. and it feels weird. weird. why am i still so fragile and troubled? i feel i do not even have the right to be...
ReplyDeleteas for your purging Ruby...it will get better. one day you will stop in the middle of a binge and feel full and wonder wtf... and just stop. promise. swear!
TRY! MEALS! PLEASE!
xxxxxx
I think you can still have troubles even though your eating may be normal
DeleteBut you are getting there Lilly
Every day you get and face the world and fight for your life
I need to try meals
Why am I resisting so much?
xxxxxx
because meals are scary. until you understand once you had a good healthy meal and kept it down you will not need any food for a very long time. (and you will need far less food than you do need now that way, the food will be better and you'll have more energy than from chocolate and junk alone) it will take a bit of time to get used to that. feeling satisfied and feeling binge full are two different things. you can endure the first one, even learn to enjoy it. it just takes time babe..
Deletexxxx
PS: ok, i dont overeat on a bad day. i replace my dinner with chocolate though. Lots of it. if that counts.
ReplyDeleteI do that every single day!!!
DeleteOMG FML x
never quite normal, but been close sometimes.if you think what a short time you have been recovering you are doing amazing things.giving up smoking as well! most people struggle with just one thing.your sister seems a big support and is right to say go easy on yourself.keep going and i am sure it will get easier jo xxx
ReplyDeleteIt will Jo
DeleteIf I could just get out of my own way
My sister is a big support
I am blessed x
Ohhh you are reading Izzy's blog? I didn't know, so do I. I find her very inspiring and it makes me feel better about eating.At the same time it depresses me as she needs a lot more food than other people (me for example). My eating is not normal according to this, but i knew that before....it is so difficult...wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteShe is very inspiring
DeleteI thought this post about normal eating was interesting
Thanks for your well wishes x
I'd say I'm in between as well. I do healthy things and then I have moments where I won't eat for longer than I probably should, or I purge every once in a while. It's a nasty habit, isn't it.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment and support on my post. The sad thing was, the person didn't even make it anonymous. At least they had the courage to speak their mind I guess. But, it was hurtful in the fact that they were judging me because I smoked and was a nursing student. The comment made me feel terrible about myself for something that I don't feel as though I should've felt bad about.
Oh well though, I'm feeling better with everyones support and comments.
I told Christie I'm thinking of just deleting all my posts and taking a "break" but I'll keep my blog, that way if I ever want to post I can or I can keep reading everyone else's posts and stay in touch if I feel I want to.
<3
Oh it would be a shame to delete your blog because of one idiot's comment
DeleteWas it someone that you knew through blogging?
Please don't let them effect the way you write
Or if you write at all
I really don't think that what you did is wrong at all
Not in the slightest
Just because you are a nursing student doesn't mean you are infallible
Think about it before you delete
And do keep in touch x
Most definitely not. I'm sorry to hear the purging's increasing again. Do you have any plans to find a 'new Mary'?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I wanted to share this picture I like as a definition of healthy eating.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9z5koc3LO1rvnkdr.jpg
Lots of love <3 xx
Going to check that out now Bella
DeleteNo I have no plans to find a new Mary
There just isn't anyone else with her experience
I miss her x
I would say that mine is healthy, finally. Yay! I think it's not where I would like it as my dream is to look like a bikini competitor, meaning lean and very muscled. That means even more food, supplements, regimented meals, more water, all of that. Lately I haven't been appetized by my post work out protein shakes though. I never hate myself after meals now. Like I will eat like a horse and maybe feel bad about the quality of food but never worried about weight gain. It's not scary, it's fuel. I never deny myself so I don't overeat or go on benders eating crap. In fact, I never think about eating anymore. I just do it and work out and get rest and call it a day. I mean, it took some time but I had to understand it was me and my mind. This where you're at, tweaking and confronting hold over issues and coping mechanisms. Trust the process. Rome wasn't built in a day. :)
ReplyDeleteA new week...
ReplyDeleteNew plan?
Trying to get some kind of control back on the purging and set to work on those healthy meals? With your sister?
So you feel better inside?
I don't know about you but all this purging makes me feel worse, and bigger cause I seem to hold fluids like a sponge ;-)
(L)
yeh, I definitely sit on the 'not normal' side of the scale. It's been so so long since I ate normally. One can only hope that one day everything will click and I will be strong enough to be that person again. Your journey is so inspiring Ruby
ReplyDelete