Christmas survival kit!

Christmas is fast approaching

I swear I blinked and this whole year went by

For me

Christmas is a double edged sword

Part of me loves it

The lights

The atmosphere

The Christmas spirit

Wrapping up in woolly clothes

Snuggling up beside the fire

Going for walks in the crisp winter air

But like a lot of people 

I can really struggle with the holiday too

They don't call it the silly season for nothing 

Christmas in this country seems to be about two things

Alcohol

And food 

Both of which I have issues with 

I remember back to my teens and early twenties 

Christmas was all about the pub

I can remember going to the pub after school

Changing out of my uniform in the bathroom

On a Friday the pub staff ordered boxes of chicken wings for the punters 

Oh to be able to eat chicken wings without my ED in my head

Still

I can get nostalgic around this time of year 

And there is nothing more Christmassy than a hot toddy

Or a glass of brandy

Unfortunately 

I just can't drink 

And neither do most of my family 

Now a days we have a strictly alcohol free house for the holidays 

We have learned the hard way that my family and alcohol just do not mix

I can remember growing up

Drinks 

Followed by dinner

Followed by more drinks

Followed by huge family argument

No 

No drink is worth the peace of mind that we have now

So 

How do we get through the holidays 

Stay sane 

And not harm ourselves or anyone else?

Well

It's tricky 

Christmas time often means spending much time with family and people you don't usually see from one end of the year to the other 

It means being cooped up inside for 24 hours straight 

Putting on a happy face when you unwrap your gifts and see that auntie Margaret has given you lavender soap yet again 

It means eating to the point that you feel

Positively ill

Watching the Christmas movie

And promptly falling asleep on the couch

While your nephew draws on your face

Try not to let the idea of Christmas dictate the days and weeks leading up to it

And try not to anticipate what the day itself will be like 

For the eating disordered 

Christmas can be tough 

The build up to the holidays

Being out of your usual routine

All the emphasis on food and drink

The socialising 

Expectations for the perfect day can all contribute to stress, pressure and anxiety

And things generally being out of sorts for a couple of weeks 

I guess the first thing to do is not to panic 

Take deep breathes 

And remember that Christmas is just one day 

24 hours 

Our routine may be all over the place

But one day is manageable 

We can get through it

For me 

It's important to stay busy 

I usually bring the dogs to the beach on Christmas morning

And watch the charity swim

Then I go to mass with some of my family 

Get home

And get stuck in to helping with the dinner

Staying busy gives me less chance for my mind to wander and become anxious 

I know it seems like food is everywhere at this time of year 

But remember 

If you eat more than usual on the day

It's ok 

In fact it's normal 

Everyone does it 

So don't panic 

Don't beat yourself up

It's completely natural to eat a little bit extra sometimes 

Everything in moderation

Including moderation 

The thing I find the toughest about Christmas is all the socialising 

Our house is the main focus of our family

So there are a lot of visitors over the holidays 

A constant stream of people in and out

Actually

It's more the thought of all this activity

When it's actually happening 

It's not too bad 

It's more the thoughts of it

And the anxiety that goes with that

Over Christmas 

It's important to remember to look after yourself

To be kind to yourself 

And not to put yourself under too much pressure 

Do what you feel you can do 

Be that a little or a lot 

No one expects you to be Wonder Woman

Although we seem to expect that of ourselves 

Also 

Take some time out for yourself if you need to

Take half an hour on your own to recharge your batteries 

Meditate 

Practise mindfulness

Or get out for a walk 

To clear your head 

And take a breath

Listen to music 

Read a book

Something I have to be wary of 

Is all or nothing thinking

Eating none of the food

Or all of the food 

Thinking because one thing goes wrong

Everything is ruined 

One good idea 

Is to have a buddy on stand by 

Someone you can give a quick ring of things become too much 

You can also be someone else's buddy 

Having a voice of reason

To bring you back down to earth can be invaluable 

Of course support is a two way thing

So both of you will benefit 

Be mindful of isolating over the holidays 

Stay in touch with your supports 

Beware of all or nothing thinking that leads to unrealistic and rigid expectations

It's about listening to you and your body 

And knowing that it's ok to have what you want 

Remembering that it is just one day and nothing awful will happen if you change the rules

Reminding yourself thdt Christmas is not only about food

Food is just one part of it

And may need some planning to work for you 

With all that said

Remember it's Christmas

It's to be enjoyed 

Yes, we will struggle 

And our EDs often don't want us to enjoy ourselves 

Especially around anorexia 

It's all about being strict and regimented 

And punishment can feature too

Because you know what guys?

We are far too hard on ourselves

We are the first ones to bring ourselves down 

We bully ourselves 

Verbally and physically

We deserve a break

We deserve to enjoy our Christmas 

In whatever form that may take 

God knows we are dealing with enough every other day of the year

Eating disorders 

Mental illness 

Addiction 

Self harm

We deserve at least one day to relax

To enjoy ourselves 

Whether you are in the midst of your illness

Or embarking on recovery 

We all deserve to smile

To laugh 

To throw some shapes on the dance floor 

To let our hair down

Because when else can we get the chance to do that?

So

I wish you and yours

A very happy and peaceful Christmas

I hope you get to spend time with the ones you Iove

Hold them close

Hug them tight

Cherish every moment with them

Because they are the ones that matter

They are the ones who hold our hands

Who pick up the pieces when it all falls apart

This year I  especially grateful to have my family around me

With everyone in good health 

We have much to celebrate this year

I hope you do too...