U is for Undeterred!

I was having trouble coming up with a word for the letter U

I was going to do underweight 

But after what happened yesterday

It could only be one word 

Undeterred

Rewind to Thursday

I got it in to my head 

That I wanted to do more riding 

And check out the stables in my area

I got a couple of numbers 

But got no answer 

So I decided to call in to an equestrian centre that's about 20 minutes from my house 

I'd been to this centre before 

A few years ago when I did a beach trek with my sisters 

So I knew where it was 

My Dad and I set off 

We drove in to the yard 

And we were greeted by a woman called Rachael who runs the place

I asked her about the possibility of lessons 

She said they don't do adult lessons

As they don't have the demand for them 

But she did say I could book a private lesson

Costing €35 for half an hour

And €45 for an hour 

So I decided to book a half hour lesson for yesterday 

Half an hour doesn't sound like a lot

But when you are riding with no break 

It's exhausting 

The lady asked me about my experience

I said I could trot and canter 

I'm now thinking after what happened I shouldn't have said I could canter

As I've only really done it once 

Anyway 

Sunday came 

And I spent all day looking forward to my 4pm lesson 

The time finally came 

And my Mum and I set off

First I had to get fitted for boots and a hat 

The lady said to me that I had skinny legs

And gave me a pair of children's boots

Ha!

My ED loved that one!

So I got myself kitted out 

And then went around to the stables

Rachael introduced me to my horse called Sonny

And OMG!

He was huge!

Much larger than Star

We went in to the in door arena 

Where I held Sonny until my teacher came 

She came like a ball of energy

Susan was her name 

Something I've noticed 

Is that horse people are hardy 

Very hardy 

The second thing I noticed about Susan 

Was that she had two facial piercings the same as me 

Straight away 

She had me get up on Sonny 

And straight in to a trot

There was no messing around with this girl 

The first thing I noticed about Sonny

Was that he was much faster than Star

An awful lot faster 

But it felt amazing!

Soon she asked me to go in to a canter 

From a trot 

You sit in to the saddle 

And kick and squeeze with your legs 

I grabbed the safety strap

And kicked on 

What happened next happened so fast I can barely remember what happened

Sonny shot off like a bullet 

And completely took me by surprise by how fast he was going 

As he turned the corner

I could feel myself losing control

And began to slip off the side of the saddle

My feet came out of the stirrups 

So I had nothing holding me on 

I was bouncing around on Sonny like nobodies business

And the the next thing

I tumbled off 

And fell in a heap at the side of the track

The first thing I thought was Sonny was going to go over me 

And I instinctively curled up to protect myself 

I don't know where Sonny went

But he didn't run over 

The thing was 

I could feel myself falling 

But even though it seemed to happen in slow motion at the time 

I still got a huge shock

I got up straight away

Susan asked what if I was ok

And if I was hurt

I didn't think I was 

Nothing was broken anyway 

I asked her for a minute to catch my breath 

She said ok

But to get back up on the horse first 

I tried to mount Sonny

But I was shaking so much 

I couldn't get a grip to pull myself up 

Second time 

I managed 

And I just sat there for a moment 

Susan said it was important to get straight back up on the horse 

As the longer I left it

The harder it would be 

Soon I was ready to go again

And we began to walk around the arena

Slowly at first

Then trotting 

Then Susan asked if I felt ok to canter again

I must admit 

I was afraid 

But I really wanted to try again 

I didn't want my fear to get the better of me

So I tried again

Straight away

Susan stopped me

And said she knew why I fell

It was my feet 

In riding 

You are supposed to push your heels down and toes up to anchor yourself 

But i was riding with my toes down and heels up

So I was totally unbalanced

After she discovered the problem 

I was able to correct it 

Although I found it hard

I felt like I was sickling my feet

The way I used to do in ballet 

So Susan was constantly shouting at me 

Heels down!

Heels down!

We tried the canter again 

And this time I felt a lot more sturdy and balanced 

Susan said it was one hundred times better

By the end of the lesson 

I was wrecked 

And sweat was pumping out of me

Susan showed me how to put up the stirrups 

And take off the saddle 

And the bridle 

Which was good to learn 

I was still pretty shook as I went back to change out of my boots and hat

Susan said if I am going to pursue horse riding 

Then that was my first fall of many 

To be honest 

It had never occurred to me that I might fall off the horse at some point 

I had no fear about it

As I always thought that a fall happened when jumping 

Now I know different 

Susan said I could join the kids class on a Saturday if I wanted to

Or I could continue with the private lessons 

I stil don't know what I'm going to do 

So I told her I would think about it

And give them a ring 

The lesson yesterday was so different to the horse therapy I do on a Wednesday

Therapy is so informal and relaxed 

And it's more about the social side of things 

And less about technically getting better 

It's about gaining confidence

And building a relationship with the horse and trainer 

To be honest 

I kind of felt like I was cheating on horse therapy going to another stables 

I just wanted to do more of it though 

As once a week is just not enough for me 

So I'm wondering if I should tell Eilish I'm doing other lessons

Or should I continue with the extra lessons at all?

When I got home yesterday

I was telling my sister and her partner all about the fall

My sister was horrified 

She said we will already have my mum in plaster 

We don't need another broken bone in the house 

She pleaded with me not to go back

But the thing is 

I really want to

I really enjoy the adrenaline rush

The speed 

The power 

It's like a drug 

My sister said that I always have to push things that little bit extra 

And she is right 

Maybe I am turning in to an adrenaline junkie!

Who knows?

So today 

U is for undeterred

I got back on the horse after my fall

And i guess that's a metaphor for life 

When you fall down 

You dust yourself off 

And get back up 

Ready to fight another day 

I guess I've been doing that my whole life 

Maybe that's why the fall off Sonny didn't phase me too much 

I woke up this morning 

And my ribs and legs were hurting 

I was in with my doctor 

So he checked my ribs and lungs 

Which were fine 

But he said I may experience pain for a few days 

But you know what?

I kind of enjoy the pain 

It's a sign I was working hard

And loving every minute of it!