Saturday

I started out the weekend with a riding lesson this morning 

I was back on Princess

But I had a new instructor 

A Scottish girl called Roisin 

Who was lovely

Straight away 

I was having problems getting Princess started 

She was walking at her own leisurely pace 

And was paying very little attention to the fact that I was kicking her over and over 

Roisin said that I looked nervous 

And I felt it

So I'm sure the horse felt it too

I think I am not kicking hard enough

I think I'm kicking strongly 

But it's probably only a tap to the horse 

Eventually I got her trotting 

Although she was pre-empting my directions all the time 

Roisin wanted to work on my position and balance 

So after trotting for a while 

We walked and trotted with my feet out of the stirrups 

The key thing was to relax my legs 

And let them hang 

Which in turn would help my balance 

Then we trotted standing up

And sitting down slowly 

The she told me to drop the reigns completely 

I thought she was joking At first 

But she wasn't 

I felt really nervous to do this 

Especially in trot 

First Roisin told me to lift one hand 

And then the other 

I was doing it!

Trotting with no hands 

It was a real confidence boost 

Roisin said that at the start of the lesson 

I looked stressed and worried 

But by the end of it 

I felt a lot more comfortable 

I did a full hour lesson today

And am now wrecked 

It was great though 

I thoroughly enjoyed it 

And Roisin told me that we can go down to the beach to ride some day

That would be so awesome 

I've always wanted to ride a horse on a beach 

I've always thought it looks so elegant and beautiful 

So that's something to look forward to

 

In other news 

Life is going pretty well at the moment 

I feel good 

Mood is stable 

I feel steady in myself 

I feel like I am enjoying rather than enduring it

Life is to be enjoyed 

I know that no one is deliriously happy all the time 

Happiness is not a constant thing 

But it is definitely possible to have moments 

And those moments are enough to keep me going 

That's all for today folks 

If there is any topic you would like to see written about 

Do let me know 

I feel like I am writing less and less about my ED addiction

I guess now I am living my life 

Rather than spectating 

And letting life pass me by 

I feel like I am actively participating in my own life now 

And that is so great 

I feel hopeful

I feel positive 

I feel alive....