Belfast Part 2

 Our second day in Belfast started early

We had our breakfast in the hotel

Which was a novelty for me

As I rarely eat breakfast

Then we drove down to the Titanic Centre

It was really an amazing place

So much information

So much to do and see
I have been fascinated by the Titanic for as long as I can remember

At the start they took our photo

And said we could collect it at the end

Which we did

You can see all three photos below 

After that

We had something to eat

And I bought a t-shirt in the Titanic shop

My nephew bough a hat

After that 

We went and did a tour of the Nomadic ship

Which was right beside the Titanic Centre

That was great too

We then dragged out weary bodies back to the hotel

And had a little rest

After that

We had dinner in the hotel 

And went to see Terminator Genisys in the cinema 

My nephews choice of course

Although I slept through most it

I really struggled with sleepiness on the trip

Most days I have at least one nap

But we were so busy in Belfast

I didn't get a chance

So a lot of the time I was fighting sleep

The next morning 

I woke early 

So went down and had breakfast on my own with my book

It was lovely to have some peace and quiet for a while

And have a few minutes to myself 

I just sat and read 

Eating tea and toast

And people watching 

Bliss!

After the rest got up and had breakfast

We decided to do a black cab tour

Which is a car tour of areas of interest

We booked it through the hotel

And we were told it cost €45 for an hour and a half

The tour itself was really interesting 

As you know 

There was a lot of trouble in Northern Ireland up until a few years ago

And up until recently 

It was a no go area

And was considered a dangerous place to be

So it's really great that we can visit there now 

Without fear of any trouble

The tour lasted two hours 

And when we were finished 

He told us that it was €90

We handed over the money without thinking

But then my sister pointed out that we had been told that it was only €45

She questioned the driver

And he told us that it was €45 per hour 

It was a bit disappointing as the hotel had told us it was €45 for the whole thing 

So we just had to suck it up

After the tour

We headed in to town 

And had lunch in Pizza Express

I didn't have anything 

As pizza is a huge fear food

So I went and had a look at the shops 

I saw a nice pair of trousers in Fat Face

So I bought them

And my sister bought a pair of trainers

By then it was evening 

So we decided to hit the road 

It was a three hour drive

But well worth it

Belfast is really a vibrant city

And the people are super friendly and helpful

(Apart from the cab driver than ripped us off)

So a good time was had by all

It's hard to tell if my nephew enjoyed himself

But I think he did

I hope he did 

Here are some photos from the trip.....

Outside the Titanic Centre

Titanic Centre

The Nomadic Ship

The huge Titanic Sign

From the window

Mocktails darling!

Heading Home

Our hotel

The view from Stormant

We are family!

Belfast Part 1

I am away with my parents, my sister and my nephew for a couple of days
We are treating my nephew
As it is his fifteenth birthday
We are in Belfast
Which is in Northern Ireland
So even though technically we are still in the same country
It feels like we are further away

Yesterday
We went and booked our tickets for the Titanic Centre
Then headed in to town for dinner
As this is a trip for my nephew
He is calling the shots on where we go
And he wanted to go to Nandos
So that's where we went
It was my first experience of Nandos
For those of you that don't know
Nandos is a chain of Portugese/African chicken shops
They serve chicken in varying degrees of spiciness and hotness
The ordering system was not good
As we had to order at the till
And there were endless amounts of option
How and ever
We managed to get it done
But the food
Oh my God the food was nothing short of gross
Never again will I enter Nandos
And yes
I did purge
We were all wrecked after eating
So headed back to the hotel
For an early night
I awoke at 6am
And had tea and white chocolate

Today
We got up early
Had breakfast
And headed over to the Titanic Centre
Where we spent a few hours
I took photos which I will post on my next post
When I have more time

Tonight we are going for dinner
Then heading to the cinema to see Terminator Genesis
My nephews choice of course

I have so much more to write about
Including an update on the whole friend situation
So I will post properly when I get home

See you on the next post.......

Update

You guys!!!

Guess what?

He rang!!!

He actually rang!!

Hold on 

Rewind a little bit 

 I was reading all your comments

And most of them were saying how I should text him back

Be casual but confident

And be a strong independent woman

Bite the bullet

Put myself out there 

I had decided not to text him until I got back from my trip on Wednesday 

My family and I are taking my nephew away for a couple of days for his fifteenth birthday

And I was glad of the distraction

But then earlier on

I just all of a sudden found some courage and sent him the following text

Hey, just wondering if you still want to meet up, I'm away until Wednesday but can meet up after that if you're still up for it?

I sent it 

And threw the phone away

I honestly wasn't expecting an answer 

I was doing it more just so I could say that I tried 

And would then be able to let it go

I went to make a cup of tea 

And when I picked my phone up again

There was a missed call from an unknown number

I started wondering who it was

And then

A couple of minutes later

My phone rang again

And it was him!

I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm

I answered after a few rings

Hello

Hello is that Ruby

Yes this is her

Oh hey this is The Plumber

Can you talk?

Yea sure I can talk

I'm just packing here as we are heading away tomorrow

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you the other night

I wasn't too gone on the whole cafe idea

You sure you wouldn't like to go to the cinema?

Oh yea I would like to go if you'd still like to. Is there anything you'd like to see ?

Sure we'll have a look during the week

Ok well why don't you give me a ring Wednesday or Thursday and we'll go from there

Ok sound I'll speak to you then

See you later

Bye 

Thankfully it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be

I was actually calm

And he seemed kind but confident 

Yikes I can believe it actually happened

I had seriously written this one off!

So now I have a couple of days to psych myself up

Choose an outfit

Make myself as pretty and presentable as possible

But you know what?

I'm not going to take this too seriously

I'm going to have fun

And enjoy it

And not read too much in to it what ever happens happens

And I can chalk it up to experience

Again

Thank you for all your valuable support

It was really down to you guys that I mustered the courage to text him

It never ceases to amaze me

The amazing live and support that is here in our little corner of blogger

I'm away tomorrow for a couple of days 

And probably my won't get to blog

As well be in Northern Ireland

But I promise to update as soon as I can 

Until then....

To quote Charlotte.....

It's a day a half later

And still radio silence

I'm 33 freakin' years old

I don't have time to play games!

To quote Charlotte from Sex and the city

'Where is he already?'

But seriously folks 

It doesn't look like he's going to text back

I think this ship may have sailed

I can either suck it up

And move on to the next available tradesman 

Or bite the bullet

And text him myself 

Either option is not very appealing 

I have a draft of a text written 

I've been so close to sending it

But something keeps stopping me

So I am going with my gut feeling 

And holding back 

I just can't figure out what happened 

I mean 

We were texting back and forth 

And as soon as I mentioned going for coffee

It's like he seized up and froze

Or maybe he thought

'F**ck this for a game of soldiers, I'm out!'

Maybe I was too interested

Or not interested enough

Maybe he's seeing other girls

Maybe he's afraid of enclosed spaces that serve coffee

Maybe he's allergic to coffee

Maybe there's been a plumbing emergency 

And him and all his plumber friends have been called away on an extremely important job

The possibilities are endless

I mean

I don't even care where we go now

We could go bird watching

Or train spotting 

Or hang gliding

In really not fussy anymore 

You know

It really wasn't easy for me to put myself out there 

And actually show interest in this guy

For the past decade

My addiction and ED have been holding me hostage

And boys were the very last thing on my mind

I was in a kind of anorexia enforced celibacy 

And I was fine with that 

I mean you don't miss what you don't have right?

So to actually engage with a member of the opposite sex is a monumental step for me

(I almost wrote a member of the opposite species, but last time I checked men were still the same species as us ladies right?)

I don't know girlies 

I am at a loss 

Maybe I should just cut my losses

Or just text him

I haven't decided yet 

Thank you for all your support at this difficult yet exciting time

It means the world 

You seem to be divided between texting him back it not

With just a little more suggesting that I text him back 

I guess I will see how today pans out 

And whatever happens

I will as ever keep you posted....

The plot thickens....

So

When I last left you

The Plumber had texted me on Thursday night saying that he would contact me yesterday

And he did 

He texted last night with a simple 

How are you?

I Immediately went to consult with my sister and Mother

And after some discussion

I texted back 

Hey I'm good, how you?

Exciting stuff so far!

While we waited for his response

I chatted with my Mum and sister

They think he sounds like he is quite shy

And my sister urged me to bite the bullet and ask him out

Then my phone pinged a message

So do you want to meet up?

You can imagine the scene

Me and my Mum and sister

All on the couch 

Squealing as the texts went back and forth 

We had been watching a film

But my sister said that this drama was much better 

So I texted back

Yea sure, what do you suggest?

Then we were all thinking about what would be a good first date

I have to admit

I've never been on a date as such 

Yes, I've gone out with boys 

But this felt different

Like an actual, proper, grown up date 

Phone pings again

Maybe cinema or something, what you think?

My Mum didn't think the cinema was a good idea

She said it was too much of a 'commitment' 

My sister suggested just going for a coffee

And i liked that idea

As there was no pressure

It could be as long or as short as we wanted

So I texted back

What about going for tea or coffee? Is there anywhere you'd like to go?

I was gently trying steer him away from the whole cinema idea

He texted back

And this is where things started to head south

I can't think of anywhere but I can make you a coffee, what you think?

I laughed when I read this

As I thought he was being smart

But my Mum and sister thought it sounded like he didn't really do coffee 

I texted back

What about 'local coffee shop' for tea/coffee and see how we go from there?

I waited for a response

And waited

But nothing 

I haven't heard from him since

This is really disappointing 

I could give him the benefit of the doubt

Maybe he ran out of credit

Maybe he had to go on an emergency plumbing job

Maybe he lost the power of his hands and couldn't text

I live in hope...

 But seriously guys 

You know that I don't like head games

Why would he just not text back?

Again

My Mother and sister pointed out that he seems really shy 

And maybe couldn't cope with a face to face date 

So then I was thinking that maybe I should have just agreed to the cinema  in the first place

And have I f**ked it all up now?

I don't know 

My head hurts from thinking about it so much 

Reading over the texts again and again

Trying to figure out what I did wrong 

My sister thinks I should text him again

But all I could think was that it was his turn to text

And I didn't want to seem too keen

You know?

You my lovely little blogger family have been so spot on with advice about this whole thing 

So I am throwing the floor open to you

What am I doing wrong?

Have I done anything wrong?

What should I do now?

Should I text him again?

Or wait for him to get back to me?

I eagerly await your response.....

The plumber and other stories.....

It was yesterday evening 

I was at home

Watching tv

Minding my own business

When my phone pinged a text

I opened it think it might be my friend who I had texted shortly before

I opened my messages 

And saw a number I didn't recognise 

With three simple words

How you Ruby?

My mind went blank for a moment 

As I tried to process the number 

And the words 

I ran through the possibilities in my hand 

My first thought was that it was The Boy

It could be 

He is prone to random texts out of the blue 

I wondered then if it was someone from the meetings 

But the other possibility 

Was that it was the plumber 

After about 15 minutes

I finally worked up the courage to text back

I simply said

Hey, who is this?

I went back to watching my show 

I didn't get my hopes up

Or have any expectations

In reality it could have been anyone

But still

There was still a little piece of me that hoped it was him 

The next few minutes dragged on forever 

I kept checking my phone

Looking for a reply

A clue to who this mystery person was

Finally 

After about ten minutes

My phone pinged again

Same number 

With the words 

'His name' I got your number off your neighbour, you Ruby?

OMG it was him!

It was The Plumber!

Holy shit!

I legged it in to the kitchen 

Where my mum and sister were

They demanded that I read out all the texts so far

Which I did

My sister told me to play it cool

Which I think was good advice

So I sat down to reply

And this is what I wrote

Oh hey, yea this is Ruby, my neighbour told me that she gave you my number, how you?

I tried to be casual but interested

Not too try hard but friendly 

And waited for a reply 

It came a few minutes later 

I'm good, I'll talk to you tomorrow 

I was a bit confused at this 

But decided not to text back 

So the ball is now in his court

As my sister says 

I'll let him take the lead

But seriously people 

I have no idea what I am doing 

This is unchartered territory for me 

I haven't had a boyfriend in years

In a whole decade

I have no idea of the way it works now

And I'm not in to playing games 

I'm not into messing with people's heads

I like people to be honest

And straight forwards

And I try to be too

So what happens now?

That's what I want to know 

I'm taking it from his last text that he is going to contact me today

Probably this evening 

As he will be working during the day 

But honestly 

My self esteem and confidence is not the best at the moment 

And heck

If I don't like or love myself

How can I expect any one else to

I kept saying to my Mum and sister

That when he sees me up close 

He'll soon lose interest

And he'll see what a loser I really am

My sisters advice Is good 

And she knows because she is alwAys dating someone 

She tells me to just be myself 

Maybe go for coffee

See if we like each other 

And take it from there

So that's what I will do 

But if you have any other advice 

Or words of wisdom 

I would really appreciate it

If we were lonely hearts 

It would probably read something like this...

Him: Tall, dark, hard worker, good with pipes

Her: Blonde, shy, GSOH, seeks man that must love dogs

Help!!!

Are we all addicts?

I've written this post maybe twice before

First back in 2012

After I watched the documentary by the same name presented by Cherry Healy

And again in 2013 when I did an updated version

Now it's July 2015 

So I think we are due an update 

To see if we are still hanging on to the same old addictions?

Have we moved on?

Have we acquired new ones?

Where are we on the spectrum that is addiction?

The reason that I am writing this post today

Is that I was listening to the radio this morning

To one of the phone on shows

And one woman had rung in with a problem she was having 

She described how she couldn't stop buying scratch cards

And was spending a huge amount of money on them every week

She felt she was spinning out of control

As she was lying to get husband and children 

And was using money from their joint savings account

So her husband was going to find out sooner or later

This lady was in a lot of distress 

And felt that she was addicted 

She described how she went from shop to shop to feed her addiction

And how it was taking over her life

And ruining her peace of mind

I could relate to this woman so much 

The only thing that was different was the substance

And that's the thing I have found over the years

The essence of addiction is the same

The lying 

The cheating 

The manipulation

The shame

The guilt 

The utter misery

But the substance can vary wildly from person to person

In my case it was alcohol and drugs to begin with

And that morphed in to other addiction over the years

As I always say

It's the same shit

Different substance

I think I was born with an addictive personality

Addiction and mental health issues are rife on my fathers side of the family

And in my own immediate family of six

Four of us have experienced addiction

Thankfully all four of us are in some form of recovery 

Which I am eternally grateful for

The first thing I became addicted to was sugar

I craved it constantly 

I think my food issues started at a very young age

I loved my food 

And I was such an active child that I burned it all off 

Had I not been so active 

I'm pretty sure that I would have had a weight problem

I ate that much

As I grew in to a young teenager 

I started shop lifting 

And that quickly became an addiction too

And has continued to be a problem up until very recently 

Stealing was par for the course when I was in active addiction 

And also featured a lot during my ED

As you know

I was caught shoplifting recently

Thankfully the shop owner decided not to call the cops 

I don't know why 

But she let me go

That whole day was a nightmare 

I kept thinking that I was in a dream

And that I was going to wake up any moment

But I didn't 

It was all very real

The guilt and shame I felt was overwhelming

I was so disappointed in myself

So annoyed that it had come to this

They only saving grace is that I have now stopped shoplifting 

I thank my lucky stars that I wasn't prosecuted

I know it could have turned out a lot different 

I was thinking of sending the shop owner an apology letter

But my gut toms me to leave well enough alone

So I did

Age fourteen

And I smoke weed for the first time

Over the next few years I dabble 

And age 18 I became addicted to heroin

As well as various other prescription meds

The next five years are a blur

Eventually I put the needle down

But I picked up alcohol and pills

As my world began to crumble around me

I knew I had to get clean and sober

I was put on methadone

And that helped me to get stable

Since then I've had many slips and relapses 

But that's part and parcel of recovery

From the age of 14 

I was a heavy smoker

And smoked 30 a day

Spending €100 a week on cigarettes 

I loved smoking 

And if I was rich 

I have no doubt that I would still be smoking 

I didn't give up for health reasons 

I wish I could say that I did

But I gave up because I couldn't afford them

It's as simple as that 

I am now almost one year smoke free

But as is the pattern with me 

When I get one addiction under control

Another one spins out of control

And at the moment 

That is internet shopping 

Over the last year 

I have bought clothes every week 

Mostly on line 

I see something I like

I think my life would be complete if I had that item of clothing 

I order it on line

And basque in the delight that there is a parcel on its way to me

And getting said parcel is such a buzz

Taking it in to the house

And testing it open is such a rush

Better than Christmas

I try the item on

And for those few minutes I am satisfied

I wear the item once 

The novelty wears off

And I am back on the hunt on the Internet for the next item

It's getting out of control though 

Seriously 

My bedroom is bursting at the Sean's with clothes

I shit you not

Other addictions I have are drinking tea

I drink 15 -20 cups of hot sweet tea a day

I am constantly boiling the kettle

And I enjoy every single one of them

I'm drinking air more since I quit smoking 

It's just really comforting to have a piping hot cup of tea

It warms my body and my soul

White chocolate

Another addiction

It has to be Millybar

No other bar will do

Millybar is soft and creamy and it melts in your mouth

I buy five family size bars a day 

And eat every single one of them

They don't always have them in my local shop

So when I see them

I tend to stock up

So today I bought ten

But that won't even last me two days

I just can't get enough of the stuff

Hunky Dorys

These are crisps 

Or chips if you are from the U.S.

It has to be this brand

And it has to be salt and vinegar flavour

I'm ashamed to admit

That I sometimes have these for my breakfast

I buy two family size bags a day

And again 

Stock up when I can 

I swear it's a wonder that I am not obese

What else?

Since I bought my first iPhone last year

I am pretty much addicted to it

It's like another limb

I'm so attached to it

Television

I am such a tv addict

I love to lose myself in a show

It takes me out of my own head

And my own thoughts

It's an escape for me

I watch everything from dramas

To trashy reality tv

I don't discriminate

Meds 

I'm on variety of meds

Including methadone 

Not one but two anti depressants

And a high dose anti anxiety meds

I mean it's a wonder I'm still standing I take so much medication

I am mentally and physically addicted 

And can't imagine life without them

Reading 

I love a good book

I guess this is a very healthy addiction to have 

I read the same books over and over again

There is something so comforting about that

Other addictions include exercise to a certain extent

Purging 

Which is the Bain of my life 

Sleep 

I love to sleep 

And love going to bed at night

I adore that time of the night 

When I get in to bed 

Those few minutes before I fall asleep 

When my body and mind are exhausted 

My head is clear 

Not a care in the works 

And then slip in to the land of nod 

I love it

With all that said

I was wondering about you

What are you addicted to?

Do you have an addictive personality?

How do you deal with your addictions?

Fo they help or hinder your life?

Answers on a postcard please....