A day in the life of Honey of the dog

It's Monday morning
I'm waiting patiently for Ruby to come and open the door to let Lea and I in
We sleep in the utility room
It's our little bedroom
I spend a lot of time in my bed
Probably half my life
It's tucked in cosily beside the machine that vibrates
I can see everything from my bed
The kitchen
People coming and going
The birds outside
Ruby is taking her time so I bark a couple of times in case she's still asleep
Soon I hear her footsteps coming up the hall
She opens the door and I burst out to greet her
She talks to me and even though I have no idea what she is saying she sounds happy to see me
I know and understand just a few words
I know 'sit'
When I sit for her she gives me a yummy treat
I also know walk
Car
Outside
Dinner
Chewy
Bold girl, which she says in a very low voice and I know I've been bad
And best of all, good girl

Ruby spends a few minutes rubbing my tummy before she goes about her morning routine
She makes tea and settles down in front of the computer with a cigarette
While she's doing this I head outside
I walk around to the front garden, checking that everything is as it should be
I take a nice long pee on the grass
The dog next door is a pain in the ass
He is constantly trying to provoke me
He barks non stop, shouting insults over the wall
He jumps up at the wall and hangs on by his two front paws
Sometimes I bark back but today I just ignore him
I stretch my legs and back before heading inside

I go to see if Ruby is dressed yet to go for a walk
We go for a walk every morning without fail
Some thing is very wrong if I don't get my walk
Lea is very impatient in the morning
She dances around Ruby's feet until she finally says the magic word
Ruby leaves the room and Lea and I wait silently by the door listening carefully for her foot steps
God, I wish she's hurry up
Finally I hear her coming up the hallway
I know It's time now because when she comes in she has her jacket and hat on
Then I hear the jangle of the car keys
It's walkies time!

Ruby has a silver car
Lea sits in the back seat and I have my own special place up in the back window
When Lea first started coming in the car she used to get car sick
But now she loves going in the car as much as I do
Ruby drives fast
Her mother is always telling her to slow down but I like driving fast
She listens to 2fm on the radio
I prefer Todayfm as the play more music

It's Monday so our first stop is the doctor
'Back in a minute' Ruby says
I don't know why she says that because she is always a lot longer than a minute
While she's gone I jump in to the front seat
It's very bold of me because I'm not allowed in the front seat but she never gets angry with me
As I'm waiting I watch people coming and going
If they get too close to the car I bark at them
Sometimes they get a fright
I think that's funny
Well it is my car and I have to protect it
Eventually Ruby comes back clutching the blue bag she always has when she comes out of the doctor
I don't know what's in there but it must be very important because she's always happy when she gets it
She starts the car and we're off again

Ruby parks in the usual spot down by the beach
She opens the door and Lea and I jump out excitedly
The beach is my favourite walk
Lots of new smells
Lots of other dogs
The first thing I always do is have a nice long pee in the grass
We walk along the rocks and down to the sand
Lea loves the sand
She runs around in circles and rolls on her back with her paws in the air
Lea always goes for a swim
I don't go in to the water unless I have good reason to, like fetching a ball
Balls are my favourite toy
I could play fetch all day long
Although recently all my favourite balls have gone missing
I suspect someone may be hiding them

After a run on the beach we head home
I snuggle up in my bed and have a nice long nap
Sometimes Ruby gives me a chewy and I spend a while gnawing on that
I wake up from my nap to see Ruby getting my bowl ready for dinner
My favourite time of the day
Ruby gives me yummy food
Crunchy nuts mixed with dog food and tuna or ham
Lea wolfs hers down but I take my time and savour it
Sometimes when Lea is finished I go and eat what she has left
Ssssh don't tell anyone

After dinner I go back to bed for another nap
I think about how lucky I am to live here
My first owner was a woman with a small child
I was a puppy and the woman couldn't take care of both of us so she left me in to a dog shelter
I didn't like the shelter
I was in a small kennel with 2 other dogs and I never got out for walks
Ruby came to look at me  one day and she immediately brought me home
I did my best to be good so she wouldn't give me away either
And I've been here ever since

In the evening I usually sit at the back step and keep an eye on the house
If anyone calls in or even walks by I bark at them
It's my job to protect the house you see
I'm a small dog but I'm feisty
I make sure that people know that just because I'm small, it doesn't mean I'm not tough
When there's no one in the kitchen I get up and sit on one of the armchairs
Ruby doesn't mind but her mother does so I get down if she comes in
We are not allowed in to the sitting room at all
Sometimes I try and sneak in but I'm always caught
But the forbidden place I most like to go is Ruby's bedroom
If the hall door opens I tip toe down
There is a great big bed in there and I like to lie down and roll around on it
The last time I sneaked down, I found a  sandwich on the locker
My idea of heaven, eating a sandwich in bed
Ruby found me and she was a bit upset that I ate it but she never stays mad for long

It's the end of another day and Ruby puts me and Lea to bed
I fall asleep dreaming of food or cats
I get a good nights sleep because tomorrow we do it all again