I was pretty blown away by this
I've only really started checking my stats recently
They were never that important to me
But now seeing how many people read this blog kind of blows my mind
Who are these 951 people?
I know some of you
But there must be so many that I don't know
I started this blog for me
Because I was lonely
Because I longed to be around people who understood me
I had been reading blogs for a while before I started writing my own
The first blogs I found were Recovering Anorexic over on Wordpress (No longer around)
2Medusa (Which is also no longer around)
Lou over at My life with ed, ana and mia
Amaris Starshine, who is now Aurelia Young
Peri
Bella
And Yummy Secrets (Also no longer around)
I am blogging just over 2 years
I read back on some early entries recently
I wrote about fasting
Losing weight
Taking diet pills
But over time this blog has turned in to something more positive
It's now a force for good in my life
So many bloggers have come and gone in the last couple of years
Most without saying a word of why they were leaving
I think about them sometimes
And hope that they are doing ok
Starting this blog has been one of the better decisions that I have made
I have made the most amazing friends
The kindest, most caring, most talented people that I have ever met
I won't name you all
You know who you are
You girls have witnessed my journey to hell and back
I have shared things on this blog that I have never uttered to a soul
I have never had one nasty comment on this blog
Instead I have had beautiful comments of hope and love
I know that the general feeling among people is that ED blogs are unhealthy
And I'm sure they can be
But my experience has been mostly positive
And I am very grateful for that
I think what we have here is unique
A community where we are accepted no matter what our illness
No matter what our weight
No matter who we are or where we are from
I've been privileged to witness your journey and be part of your life
Blogging and the girls here have saved my life over and over again
Writing keeps me relatively sane
It gives me an opportunity to get the noise in my head down on paper or keyboard
It's cathartic
It's soothing
It's relaxing
Getting comments is a bonus
I truly love to hear my phone buzz with the sound that I have received a comment
I was wondering about you
I invite you to introduce yourself
What's your name?
Where are you from?
Do you blog?
How long have you been blogging?
Why do you read this blog?
How long have you been reading?
I would love to hear from you
Maybe you read every day
Maybe you stop by from time to time
Maybe you can relate
Maybe you don't
Maybe you are struggling with an eating disorder
Or addiction
Or other mental health issues
Maybe you are in recovery
Maybe not
Maybe you know me
Maybe you have just stumbled upon this blog
Whatever your story
I would love to hear from you
Hi Ruby,
ReplyDeleteI don't blog and I never have. I haven't been reading this blog long but have clicked through your archives a bit. I read because I think you're strong and beautiful and am amazed by the progress you've made. I've struggled with depression my whole life and eating disorder for 15+ years. Things never seemed bad enough to get help until 6 months ago when I started therapy. I still haven't had the guts to tell my therapist about my eating issues and think that people who get help are braver than I.
I hope you keep blogging while you work towards recovery. I, for one, and inspired by it.
S
Hey S,
DeleteThanks for commenting and for reading and for your kind words
I love to hear from new readers
I'm glad to hear that you are in therapy
Hopefully you will find the courage to tell her about your eating issues
It really is the most freeing thing to get it all out in the open
And I think our EDs thrive on secrets
I wish you the best of luck with your recovery
Take care x
Hi there Ruby, I've never commented before, but I'll come out of the woodwork to let you know who one of the 951 people is :) I guess I've been reading for nearly two years, though I can't remember exactly. I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I'm touched by your honesty and your struggles and keep reading in the hope that you'll get better and have the happier life you deserve. I've been silently rooting for you all this time. I'm middle aged though I don't feel like it, and have struggled with mental and emotional issues most of my life. I've experienced a lot of disordered eating though nothing as severe as what you have gone through. However I occasionally read ED blogs because I can relate to much of the mentality behind EDs. Bottom line is though, you're a likeable girl and your blog is very engaging. That's why I check back most days to see if you've updated. Thanks for sharing everything you have on this blog, you won't realise how many people you've touched because not everybody comments (like me). But your words can definitely make people feel like they're less alone in the world. Take care and good luck with your recovery, you're doing great and it's very heartwarming! :)
ReplyDeleteJ
xxx
Sorry J
DeleteI replied to your comment below Loulou's x
"amaris starshine" made a mockery of cancer patients and holocaust victims. i know she was/is very very ill (no sane mind could do this) but that degree of illness made me want/need to leave the "community". sorry but i feel this needs to be said, too. please feel free to delete as this is your blog.
ReplyDeletehowever you and your story have been a great inspiration.always.
I know that really angered you Loulou
DeleteI think you are amazing that you have put your ED behind you
I know that this community can be unhealthy sometimes
There are a lot of unwell people (Including me)
I don't know about being an inspiration but thank you for your kind words x
Hey J,
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, commenting and rooting for me
It's such comfort to know that there are people reading my words and wishing me well
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling
I do hope that things begin to improve for you
Never give up hope
There is always hope
Always
Just keep hanging in there
Take care and hope to hear from you again x
Well I think you know all this already about me?
ReplyDeleteSo just a reply with love, from Belgium this time,
(L)
A
I do A
DeleteOh you're in Belgium?
Hope all ok x
Although I do think there is a tremendous danger of being thereby forever defined by ED, as a friend, I would still say turn it into a book. Could also be a career kick-off (do not do Emily Woolfe, use an alias) and get you an income for start. this sells really well atm (yes, Ruby sweet, it will also help others, you are just that kind of person who does motivate people to get better, even if you are not aware of it) talk to your brother! Email me.
ReplyDeleteI would love to Lilly
DeleteIf I could just get myself together
And find the confidence...... x
This will be really long....and you probably know half of it since I reply to these a lot XD
ReplyDeleteMy name is Christie. (no, really, that's my real name.)
I'm from Hong Kong.
Yes, I have been blogging since May.
I read this blog because you're a likable person, your blog is well written and...gosh, I don't really know. Sometimes, I understand how you feel, I guess.
I've been reading since April.
I read everyday and I can relate to some of your emotions.
I'm not diagnosed with anything. So I don't know. I have a problem with my weight.
So...that's all I guess? :)
Always good to hear from you, it's great to know that blogging is a positive experience for you ^_^
Love,
Christie
Hey Christie,
DeleteThanks for this
And thank you for your kind words
Am going to catch up on your blog now x
I don't think you're a stranger to my story, and I love when you randomly comment on my blog since I'm always commenting on yours. :) blogger started as ED support for me. I don't even know what kind I was hoping for but I found a lot of great people. Once I put that behind me I began writing creatively or just writing on my thoughts and then it expanded to people not in the ED community. I'm torn frequently between unfollowing certain people or staying a follower to try and encourage. Sometimes I think that I'm a hard hitter on comments because I push for the healthy way and try to provide the more logical route, that this isn't going to last forever if you don't want it to, and to be hopeful and honest with yourself. I'm sure my comments aren't always the popular one but I care about people and I want them to be their best. It's difficult to continue reading when nothing changes. I met my best friend on blogger who I actually met in person last week and I've grown a lot and enjoy looking back on the whole painful process. If there's one thing I hope to bring to the community it's encouragement and proof that you can escape the things that hold you down. Whether that happens or not, I don't know but I do hope for the best. I'm so glad to see you clawing your way out. You deserve it. Tons of love.
ReplyDeleteHey Eve,
DeleteThat is so great
You really are an inspiration
I think you are brave to be so honest
It's easy to be nice all the time
But it takes courage to tell the truth
But I for one appreciate honesty
Thank you for your continued support Eve
It means more than you know x
always reading,not confident to comment although have emailed you before.been battling for 30 yrs on and off,not doing well at the moment.just find your determination and thoughtfulness for others so positive.quite simply feel you're the loveliest person I've never met!if that makes sense? so thank you and bless you and pls continue to write. love jo xx
ReplyDeleteHey Jo,
DeleteThank you for commenting
I know it's not easy
And thank you for your kind words
I hope I emailed you back
Did I?
Hope to hear from you again
Much love x