Pulling Teeth

I was at the dentist again yesterday
The third time in 2 weeks
This appointment was a consultation to discuss what can be done to improve my teeth
They really are in a bad state
Discoloured
Broken
Rotten
Decaying
I have very little teeth left in the back
It gets me down
And effects my confidence
My teeth are a constant reminder of how I haven't taken  care of myself over the years

The dentist explained that the first thing he would do would be to put in 7 temporary crowns on my upper front teeth
These would last about 3 months
And would then be replaced by permanent crowns
This would massively improve the appearance of them
He then could put in two bridges to bridge the gaps in my teeth
It all sounded great
Then we had to discuss money
The crowns are 600 euros each
And the bridges are 900
That comes to 5200 euros
Yikes!
I don't need to tell you that I don't have that kind of money lying around

We then spoke to the dentist's assistant about a payment plan
She said that it could be paid off monthly
That is great news
Because otherwise it would have been impossible
She asked me if I was self conscious about my teeth
I told her I was
And then, I'm not sure why
But I told her about my eating disorder
She gasped and said 'God Ruby, how did you get in to that?'
She genuinely seemed shocked
I wonder how she would have reacted if I had told her about my drug addiction

My mother and I left the dentist with much food for thought
Needless to say that I really want to get it done
But I can't do it without some financial help from my parents
My parents discussed it
And it looks like we will be able to manage it

I am so excited
I can get the temporary crowns put in straight away
I can't explain how massive this is
It's a huge step towards getting better
Towards feeling good about myself
For the longest time I didn't give a hoot about my teeth
So to actually care about them is a big step for me
And it's not just about looking good
Although that is part of it
It's about being confident in myself
It's knowing I can smile without flashing horrible teeth
It's about looking in the mirror and actually liking what I see
It's about taking care of myself
Minding myself
It's about being one step closer to recovery
It's about being one step closer to liking myself