I seem to be hell bent on ruining all the hard work I have put in
It seems that I want to sabotage myself and my recovery
In other words
I weighed myself this morning
I saw a number that I have never seen before
I don't know what to do
All sorts of crazy things ran through my head
Fasting
Plastic surgery
Liposuction
Overdosing
Because I just can't handle this
I really can't
yes, we all tend to sabotage ourselves because we somehow think we don't deserve to be happy, we don't deserve to take up space in this world, we don't deserve to eat like the others do. But we really do. Try to think about all of those positive things you gained apart from weight.and think about all the things you lost through your ed, and what actually makes you hold onto it. Having an eating disorder and being in some sort of half recovery state, i know this is so much easier said than done.Reread your own posts and try to calm down as much as you can.I am really proud of you.
ReplyDeletedo you think you may be feeling more vulnerable being away from home and routine?, I agree read back on your last posts and how strong and happy you've been.remember this feeling will pass.please take it easy on yourself. jo x
ReplyDeletethis feeling is temporary and it will pass.
ReplyDeleterepeat over and over.
dont jeopardise your health over a new number, your body is still recovering, let it xxxx