Mothers Day

Usually I spend Mothering Sunday with my Mum

Usually I make her breakfast in bed 

Give her gifts

And bring her out for lunch

However 

This year is different 

This year my sister brought my mum to Prague for a few days

They arrived yesterday

And are living it up in a beautiful suite in a stunning hotel

I'm so glad that mum got to go away

God knows she deserves a break

So I am at home

Not home alone though

My Dad has come to keep me company for a few days

And of course Honey and Lea are never far from my side

I made my Dad dinner yesterday

Italian beef stew

I'm always meaning to post some recipes here

I can make a few dishes well

Taught to me by my sister who is an amazing cook

Anyway

I will get around to it at some stage 

So my Dad and I are spending quality time together

And are making dinner for my other sister and my nephew

Who are coming down later

Mother's Day reminds me how lucky I am

To have a mum that stood by me through everything we have been through

It reminds me to thank my lucky stars that I have a strong, kind and selfless mother

I have put my mother through more than any one person should have to take

Through my rebellious teenage years

Through my drug fuelled twenties

And of course through the eating disordered years

Which are still going on to a certain extent

Yes

I have broke my mothers heart more times than I care to remember

She has given me endless second chances

More than I deserved

So thank you Mum

For being there

And for knowing when to turn your back

For holding my hand through everything

For never giving up hope on me

For believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself

For carrying me when I couldn't walk

For loving me when I didn't love myself

For being strong when I was weak

Thank you

I'm doing my level best to get back on track

I've planned my week with things to keep me occupied

Unfortunately

Because I am getting my using under control 

My ED behaviours seem to be spinning out of control

Purging has increased some

I'm weighing multiple times a day

Although my weight seems to be staying stable

Fluctuating a kilo or so either side

I don't know if I am happy at the Wright I'm at

I mean

It's fine

It's ok

It's not fantastic 

I don't feel super good or confident

But I can accept it

And maybe that's enough for now

Maybe this is as good as it gets for me

After the dentist last Friday

I went to Rivet Island for a look

I found a lovely navy and white striped dress

With pockets and a tulip skirt

I took in a size 8 and a size 10

The 8 fit me perfectly

And I really liked it

I didn't buy it though

Not like me I know

But I think I am going to go back and buy it tomorrow

I will post photos too

Two of my crowns came out when o was eating chocolate yesterday

I bought some polygrip to try and secure them back in 

But that didn't work too well 

So it's back to the dentist tomorrow

To get them cemented back in

Pain in the buttocks 

But it has to be done

Anyway

I'm off to make dinner

See you on the next post.....