Sans nail

Busy day today

Walk dogs - check

Reflexology - check

Meeting - check

Sun shower - check

Get toe nail removed - check

The toe nail was the big one

It was so hard and thick 

That there was only one thing for it

It had to go

So today was the day

I arrived at the doctors at three

The nurse took me to the surgery

And chatted about this and that as she prepared for the doctor

It took him an age to appear

But he finally did

He is very much in demand don't you know

First it was the anaesthetic 

They warned me that this was the worst part

They weren't wrong

He had to inject directly in to my toe

Beside the bone

No less than four times

I hid my face in my hands 

And cursed like a sailor

It hurt like a mother f.....

I was then left to my own devices 

Until the anaesthetic worked its magic

I was well bored

I looked around the room

Inspected the implements on the table beside me

And generally wished that the whole palava was over

My doctor came back

And this time he had a friend

Another younger doctor

Who wanted to observe

Excellent

Now I had a freakin' audience

The doctor took a tool called a divider 

And began to work under the nail

I had to watch

I had to see what was going on

But then it was suggested that I don't look

So I lay back in the couch

And prayed for no pain

Unfortunately 

I could feel every thing

And told him so

Cue more anaesthetic 

And more waiting

This always happens to me

I seem to need double the anaesthetic that a normal person needs

It always happens in the dentist too

As my mother says 

I must be becoming immune to drugs

The doctor returned

And we began again

I could feel pressure

It wasn't sore as such

But just knowing what he was doing was enough to make me squirm

It must have taken him about ten minutes to pride off the nail

But it felt like an eternity

Finally I looked down

And it was done

Nail removed 

Operation over

Oh the relief 

The sweet relief

It felt so hop to have it over and done with

The doctor left

And the nurse applied a bandage

It all looked very neat and tidy

And I was one satisfied customer

I hobbled out to the waiting room 

Where my sister was waiting for me

We collected our respective meds 

And headed home

I got straight in to my pyjamas

And made a hot cup of sweet tea

It was a difficult day

But a good one