Tuesday 14 April 2015

Sans nail

Busy day today
Walk dogs - check
Reflexology - check
Meeting - check
Sun shower - check
Get toe nail removed - check

The toe nail was the big one
It was so hard and thick 
That there was only one thing for it
It had to go
So today was the day

I arrived at the doctors at three
The nurse took me to the surgery
And chatted about this and that as she prepared for the doctor
It took him an age to appear
But he finally did
He is very much in demand don't you know

First it was the anaesthetic 
They warned me that this was the worst part
They weren't wrong
He had to inject directly in to my toe
Beside the bone
No less than four times
I hid my face in my hands 
And cursed like a sailor
It hurt like a mother f.....

I was then left to my own devices 
Until the anaesthetic worked its magic
I was well bored
I looked around the room
Inspected the implements on the table beside me
And generally wished that the whole palava was over

My doctor came back
And this time he had a friend
Another younger doctor
Who wanted to observe
Excellent
Now I had a freakin' audience
The doctor took a tool called a divider 
And began to work under the nail
I had to watch
I had to see what was going on
But then it was suggested that I don't look
So I lay back in the couch
And prayed for no pain
Unfortunately 
I could feel every thing
And told him so
Cue more anaesthetic 
And more waiting

This always happens to me
I seem to need double the anaesthetic that a normal person needs
It always happens in the dentist too
As my mother says 
I must be becoming immune to drugs

The doctor returned
And we began again
I could feel pressure
It wasn't sore as such
But just knowing what he was doing was enough to make me squirm
It must have taken him about ten minutes to pride off the nail
But it felt like an eternity
Finally I looked down
And it was done
Nail removed 
Operation over
Oh the relief 
The sweet relief
It felt so hop to have it over and done with

The doctor left
And the nurse applied a bandage
It all looked very neat and tidy
And I was one satisfied customer
I hobbled out to the waiting room 
Where my sister was waiting for me
We collected our respective meds 
And headed home

I got straight in to my pyjamas
And made a hot cup of sweet tea
It was a difficult day
But a good one 

9 comments:

  1. What a busy day!! I hope your toe isn't too sore ^^
    Take care sweetheart, I'm glad you had a good day
    Mandy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't lie
      It is sore
      So I will be taking it easy today
      But just so glad it is over
      Thanks Mandy x

      Delete
  2. oh ruby i am the same, even epidurals don't work on me! bless you hope it better quick,love jo xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are becoming immune Jo
      My family jokes that I need horse tranquillisers to knock me out x

      Delete
  3. oh god I was literally cringing as I read this...glad that's over and done with! I am the opposite of you with the anaesthetic - the smallest dose usually leaves me passed out for way longer than anyone expects. After I got my wisdom teeth out they had to shake me awake after like an hour (should've only been 20 min...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess we all react differently Kaylee
      It's such s pain needing so much for me to feel numb
      Oh apologies
      I hope no one was eating while reading this...... X

      Delete
  4. Yikes, I couldn't even read this one, I mean, the HORROR! Teeth and nails are the worst things to fiddle around with. My boyfriend has to clip my toe nails...

    I hope it went well :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right?
      I agree with you
      Don't mess with the teeth or feet
      And I've been messing with both recently
      But the result was good
      So it was worth it x

      Delete
  5. This post made me cringe. You seemed to get through it really well. I hate having my feet touched, even pedicures are an experience, glad you got it seen too and the operation went well x

    ReplyDelete

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