Tramadol test

I was at a meeting this week

Where I was talking about anxiety

I'm really struggling with it at the moment

And it is driving me nuts

It affects everything I do

And makes seemingly simple tasks impossible

Anxiety is a horrible thing

It's why so many people think they are having a heart attack

When they are in fact having an anxiety attack

I guess they are both similar

They both affect the breathing 

Tight chest

Pain

Panic

Fear

It can be a terrifying experience

So I was at this meeting

My anxiety wasn't too bad that day

And I even managed to read out the daily reading 

Usually I can't read in public at all 

When I was finished speaking

One of the men began to share

He said he was wondering why I read out the reading so fast

But now realised it was due to anxiety

Later on he suggested that I try Tramadol for my anxiety

I knew what Tranadol was

It's a morphine based pain killer

I remember when I was in hospital with pancreatitis 

Tramadol was the first thing they gave me

It didn't work at the time

Anyway

I was chatting with my friend after the meeting

She told me not to listen to the man

That he was not well

I left the meeting

And thought no more about it

During the week

My neighbour asked me if I would look after her dog for a few days

As she was going away

I said I would

So I've been over and back to the house

Feeding the dog

And bringing him for walks

I decided to sit with him for a while last night in the kitchen

I was watching tv

Minding my own business

When I spotted some blisters of meds on the table

My curiosity was pricked

And I turned the pack over to see what they were

And wouldn't ya know it

They were Tramadol

I had a huge urge to take a couple

I must have sat staring at them for ages

I had the dog on my lap 

And I kept thinking

Just one

One won't hurt

She won't even notice

At one point 

I picked up the pack

And was so close to taking a couple

But some how

I managed to resist 

I figured that my neighbour had trusted me with the key of her house

And left me in charge of her dog

How low would it be to steal her meds?

This woman was recently widowed 

And the last thing she needs is her greedy addict next door neighbour helping herself to her meds

I got home and breathed a sigh of relief

I can't lie

I was very close to taking those tablets

It was temptation in pill form 

I'm just so glad I didn't take them

And it's because I have gotten stronger over the last month

That I can resist

It's because I have been going to meetings

Because I am working a programme

Because I want to do the right thing

Because I want to get well

Because I want to be a good person

Tramadol test passed......