Izmir

Before I forget

I want to apologise for not replying to comments or reading your blogs while I've been away

I don't always have wifi

So I blog when I can

And don't get a chance to do much else

Anyway

Today was an early start

Especially for me

As I didn't sleep well at all last night

At 1am

When I still couldn't sleep

I took a days meds

That did the trick

And I did fall asleep

But it has left me one days meds short now

So I really need to ration what I have left

I have under two days meds for three days

If I though about that too much

I would worry and stress and fret

And wouldn't enjoy the rest of my holiday

So I am going to forget all about it

So 

This morning we woke early

And got up at 6 30am

We stumbled around our room

Trying to wash 

Dress 

And pack

We had breakfast in the kitchen instead of the roof terrace

As it was a bad day

There are two little women in the kitchen

Who make all kinds of beakfast

Every morning I've been having toast and a boiled egg

But this morning I had an omelette

Just with salt and pepper

Delicious

Having breakfast is quite the revelation for me

At home 

I don't usually have any thing

And if I do it's something silly

Like three biscuits

But here I've been eating a substantial breakfast 

And keeping it down 

That keeps me going until lunch time 

When I might have cheese on toast

And again

No purging

However I have been purging my main meal

But the thing is

I don't always feel like purging

It's more out of habit than anything else 

Anyway 

The two little women in the kitchen help us with our breakfast 

And usually we then go to the roof terrace

Where there are another two women 

Who make tea or coffee 

But as I said 

This morning we ate in the kitchen

We tipped both the kitchen and house keeping staff

As they have been great

Every day when we head out

The staff clean our room

Leave fresh towels and toiletries 

Clean bed linen 

Even folding our pyjamas 

So they really earned their tip

Packing this morning was funny

In a kind of I want to pull out my hair funny

As usual 

We all brought far too many clothes with us

And bought so much stuff

Trying to fit it all in to our suitcases was a military operation

But 

After much struggle 

And with the air blue from cursing

We got them closed

And we hauled them down to reception

We thanked all the staff

And called a taxi

And off we went on the next leg of our trip

We arrived at the airport in good time for our 11am flight

We checked in 

Made our way through security

The plane was delayed so with the hour in the air and another hour waiting

We arrived in Izmir at about 1pm

Next we had to find a train to take us to the town we were staying called Selcuk

That was a palava

We found information 

And the metro stop

Saw there was a train going at 2 pm

Went to buy a ticket

But were told we had to buy it at a different booth

Where there was no one

We asked again 

And they said someone would be along shortly 

50 minutes we waited

I shit you not

We almost missed our train 

And I almost lost the will to live

So that was fine 

We had our tickets 

We were on time for the train

Which came a short time later 

We each had a huge case 

And loading them off and on transport was not fun at all

But we did it 

And made it to Selcuk in one piece

From there we got a taxi to the hotel

What a relief to finally drop our bags and sit down 

Oh the comfort and the luxury of it all after a long journey

So it is from my hotel bed in my complimentary slippers that I write this post

In starting to flag now

And am kind of ready to go home 

To see my dogs

To have a proper ham sandwich 

And sleeping in my own lovely bed

Here are a few photos....

The art of haggling and other stories....

As today is our last day in Istanbul

We devoted most of the day to shopping

Buying gifts and keepsakes for ourselves

First we headed to the spice market

Where we loaded up on different spices

We went to stall 51

Where Rick Stein went making his most recent cookery and travel show

For anyone that doesn't know

He is an English chef

Who made a show recently 

About cooking from Greece to Istanbul

Anyway

After taking many photos

See below

We braved the Grand Bizarre 

Which is the largest indoor market in the world

With 4000 shops

It employs 30,000 people

Thankfully it wasn't too busy today

We stocked up on gifts for family and friends

As well as a couple of things for ourselves

I bought Turkish slippers 

And a Turkish bathrobe

All for very little 

It was an amazing experience

Everywhere you go 

People are shouting at you

Asking where you are from

And do you want to buy what ever they are selling

As they will give you 'special price'

For 'special lady'

If you showed the slightest bit of interest in their wares

They literally pounce on you!

We had a very interesting experience in one of the many scarf shops

It was the first shop that we showed interest in 

There were two guys working there

I touched one of the scarves 

And he went in for the kill

He brought me in to the shop

Draped the scarf beautifully around me

I asked how much

He said 110 Turkish Lira

As I began to leave the shop

He knocked it down to 90

Then 80

I refused and said we would be back

And as we walked away

One of the guys followed us

And dropped his price to 70

At the end of the day we did go back

The same two guys gave us a great welcome

Brought us in to the shop

I wanted to buy one

Mum wanted to buy a couple 

And my brothers partner also wanted a couple

The two guys sat us down 

And displayed beautiful scarf after beautiful scarf

The guy dealing with us had quite good English

So we spoke in Irish amongst ourselves 

Which became very confusing indeed

Suddenly 

The guy asked us if we wanted apple tea

We said yes

He rang someone on his phone

Two minutes later someone arrived with a little wooden table

And erected it in the middle of the shop

Following that

A tray with six Apple teas

I swear it felt like we were in that shop forever

He said he would give us the four scarves for 270TL

So we agreed to that 

He packed them for us 

And we headed out

But just as we were leaving 

He called my mother back

And offered her one more scarf for 40 TL

So in all

We ended up with five scarves for 310 TL

And given they were cashmere

It was a bargain

Below are photos of the day

Hope you enjoy 

And you get to experience a little bit of Turkey...

Last day in Istanbul

Today is our last day in Istanbul

Tomorrow we are flying to Ephesus

Today we are dedicating to shopping 

In the spice market

And the Grand Bizarre 

So that should be interesting

Part of me is sad that out holiday is nearing an end

But another part of me is super excited to go home

Especially to see Honey and Lea

As I have missed them so so much

Here in Istanbul

I've seen very few dogs

And the few I have seen have been panned out on the ground asleep

They don't look very well cared for

They are skinny and malnourished 

On the other hand 

There seems to be an endless amount of cats here

They are everywhere

And people seem to be really nice to the them

They feed them 

And don't shoo them away

They are pretty well looked after 

Yesterday

My sister and I went up to the main shopping street

And I found H&M

And Topshop

I decided I would go in to one rather than both

So I chose H&M

Where there was a sale on

I bought a top

And some lounge-y type pants

I've gone way over my budget

But isn't that what holidays are all about?

Anyway

Here's a few photos....

The scales are following me....

We were in our hotel room the other night

After a long day of walking around the city

Our room is small for three people 

There is a double bed

For my sister and mother

And a kind of loft bed for me

Up a little ladder

Even though the room is small

It is perfectly formed 

And they have made the best use of the space

There is plenty of storage

And that what we were looking at the other night

Opening all of the drawers and cupboards 

Having a good ol' mooch

When my sister shouted 

'Look at this'

She pulled what she had found from the drawer

And set it on the ground

Yes, you've guessed it

The dreaded scales

Cue menacing music

Don don doooooon.....

God dammit

Even on my bloody holidays

I can't get away from the scales

My sister stood on it first

And let out a shriek as she registered the number

I won't tell you what it was

As she might read this

And could possibly kill me

Even though I really wanted to stand on n it too

I resisted 

But just knowing it was there

Was driving me to distraction

I tried to forget about it

I really did 

But after having a shower that night

I pulled the scales out 

Tapped it to set it 

And gingerly stood on it

The flashed

It was in kilos

I registered the number

And stood off

I gave myself a minute to gauge my reaction

Waiting for onslaught of self hatred and misery

I haven't weighed myself in about 6 weeks

The number was high

There was no doubt about that

It was a number a was not comfortable with

But to my surprise

I stayed calm and relaxed

The number didn't effect me in the way that I thought it would

There have been times in the past

When I weighed myself 

And curled up in a ball

Naked

And weeping

There have been times when I saw the number

And literally had a physical reaction to it

But today?

Today I felt

Well

Nothing

This morning 

My mother and I went to the pharmacy

To pick up a couple of things

We were just waiting for the pharmacist 

When out of the corner of my eye

I saw another set of scales 

OMG

They are everywhere!

And they are out to get me!

I ventured closer to it

And wondered if anyone would protest if I stripped there and then

And stood on it 

I figured they would 

So instead

I stood on it fully clothed

Something I hate doing

Again

I registered the number

The same as the scales in our room 

And again

Felt nothing 

This is a new revelation

And one I'm not entirely comfortable with

Because it's different

It's new 

It's change

And as well all know 

ED girls do not do very well with change 

My body image is not great however

Taking photos here has been a bit of an ordeal

Eight out of ten times

I look at a photo 

And absolutely hate it

And take it again

Until I am happy 

Or at least semi happy with it

Take yesterday 

I know I posted quite a few photos

But they were the best of a bad lot

There were so many others taken that I just couldn't beat to post

Because my face looked fat

Or my arms looked fat

Or my toes looked fat

Or something looked fat

There were photos of me with horses

Photos of me beside the pond

Many photos of me with my family 

That I just could not post

Which is sad really

But I think most people want to present the best image of themself to the world

And I am no different 

The ones I posted yesterday

Just barely made it on to my blog

I still can't look at them

I just post them 

And forget about them

Apologies for not replying to comments while I am away

Normal service will resume when I return at the weekend 

Also I need to catch up on your blogs

So I will also do that when I get home

I hope you are all doing ok

I know our community spans the whole of the ED spectrum

Some of us are still struggling

Some of us are embarking on recovery

Some of us are somewhere in between 

Some of us are anorexic

Bulimic 

EDNOS

Or a mixture of all three

We are all struggling one way or another 

All fighting for a better life

For a brighter future

And we will get there

I have so much faith in every one you

I truly do

So please 

Today be kind to you

Be gentle to you

Because you are an important and valuable person 

To your family 

Your friends 

Your blogger family here

To us and them

You are precious

Don't ever forget that 

Sights and sounds of Turkey...

My oh my, we have been busy little bees today

We got an early start

And were out of the hotel

Washed, dressed and fed

Before 9am

We got the Tunel Funicular to the Kurokoy tram stop

And from there to Sultanahmet 

First stop was Topkapi Palace

Which was the former home of the sultans

Where we queued for an hour

But we did get to see an 86 carat diamond at the end of it

Was it worth the wait?

Mmmmm not quite sure

Next stop

Hagia Sophia

Which is one of the worlds greatest architectural monuments 

We wandered around for quite a while in there

It was so nice to go inside 

And feel the cool breeze

As the day was so very hot

We then went to the Basilica Cistern

Which is a vast underground water system

Built by the Romans in 532

It was really impressive

Below ground 

And held up by 336 columns

It was so dark

The only light from a few lamps

Lighting up the water

And the huge fish in there

Anyway 

Enough with the words

And on to the photos....