Sunday 10 January

Like a lot of things 

Blogger reflects life

Many many different communities 

All formed by the labels that have been given to us

Anorectic 

Bulimic

BPD

EDNOS

Anxiety 

Depression 

OCD

Trichotillimania 

Schizophrenic

Fashionista 

Lifestyle blogger

Make up 

Kids 

Pets 

Blogger has space for all of us

And our little corner of blogger

Is where we have all gathered

To support each other 

To get support 

To connect with others like us 

To identify 

To help each other get through the daily grind that is mental illness 

Even though it seems blogger has gone out of fashion

We still meet 

Every single day 

To read 

To write 

To not feel so alone 

It's an enormous part of our lives 

Blogger also reflects life

In that people come and go all the time 

In my life 

There has been a revolving door of people in and out for as long as I can remember 

Blogger is no different 

I guess I am thinking about this 

As I am coming up on 4 years blogging

And it's human to look back and reflect 

When I first started blogging 

Back in 2012 

There was a buzzing and thriving community

It was amazing to be part of this exciting movement 

Every day 

There was a large number of blogs to read 

It was both terrifying and thrilling to witness 

Sad that this community was needed

Yet so grateful to have the support 

I have met the most amazing people through my blog

And reading other blogs 

The best of friends 

Some of you have been there from the start 

Some of you are newer to blogger

But the amazing thing is

Everyone is welcome 

There is space 

And a place for us all

But of course 

Many have come and gone over the years 

Often with out reason or explanation 

The odd person might explain their reasons for leaving 

Maybe they are recovering 

And need to move on

Some feel the community is no longer healthy or helpful 

More often than not

They just vanish off the face of the blogosphere 

Never to be heard from again 

Two fellow bloggers who I befriended over the years 

And became very close to 

Have since left the blogosphere 

Deleted their blogs 

And don't reply to my messages anymore 

The first person in question 

Had been part of the ED blogging world for a time 

But had then 'recovered' And left

She still blogged 

But nothing to do with ED 

We were closer than close

We texted every day

She was a great support

But we disagreed over one fundamental issue 

She maintained that the ED community here on blogger was unhealthy 

She dismissed our comments on each other's blogs as sentimental drivel 

She urged me time and time again to leave 

Or at least branch out a little 

Not inspite of her honesty

I loved her because of her honesty 

As a lot of the time 

She made good points 

But alas 

We got in to a nasty argument 

And haven't spoken since 

I have since found out that she wasn't in recovery at all

She was severely underweight

And her life was crumbling around her ears 

I dont know how she is now 

I don't know if she is ok

If she's blogging 

If she's even alive 

I regret the argument we had 

We both said things we didn't mean 

I'd love to know how she is 

The other girl was a similar story 

We became very close 

Very quickly 

In constant contact

But again

We came to an impass 

And she fell of the face of the earth 

I still feel the loss of both friends 

There is a hole in my life that they once filled 

But that's life I guess

Not just life here on blogger 

People come and go

Nothing lasts forever

I have been thinking though 

Is this the reason that so many have left blogger?

Because they have found it to be unheAlthy? 

Is it unhealthy?

Are we deluding ourselves that what we have here is beneficial?

I worry about that 

I worry that we are enabling each other

Because of someone doesn't want to get well

We don't question that 

Of course that is supporting a choice someone makes 

But is it also supporting the illness?

I guess like everything in life

There are positives and negatives to blogging 

And there have been many times over the years

That I have weighed up blogging 

And whether it does more bad than good 

But I have always come to the conclusion

That the positive outweighs the negative 

My blog has saved my life many times 

The support and love and well wishes I have received had been overwhelming at times 

Blogging has helped me find a love of writing 

It has opened up many doors

With amazing people and experiences 

I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China 

With all that said 

I was wondering about you 

Do you think ED blogging is healthy or unhealthy?

Do you think the pros out weigh the cons?

What do you get out of blogging? 

How long have you been blogging?

Inquiring minds want to know....