Storm in a C cup and other stories.....

Remember back when I got my chest measured properly in a proper bra shop?

My first time ever to be correctly measured

And Remember I was told I was a 34 DD?

And I could barely believe it

Remember how I bought two very grown up proper bras?

And I was quite proud of my assets

Well

Said bras no longer fit me 

Which makes me sad

Why is it 

That when ever I lose weight

I lose if from the areas that need it most 

My boobs

My bum 

And always lose it from places that I don't want to

Like my face 

Id say I am now a 32 C 

Going by how the bras fit 

I've also been going through my wardrobe

And trying on clothes to see what fits 

And what doesn't

I have so many lovely items 

That are now way too big for me

And that is a damn shame 

As well as an incentive to gain a little 

My weight has stayed static for the last month 

I've neither lost nor gained 

And my BMI hovers around the same number 

But the truth is 

I can afford to gain a few kilos 

And still be pretty slim 

Weight loss just isn't important at the moment 

I rang my local piercing studio today

To inquire about getting my labret done 

The piercer is only there on a Friday 

So I'm going to go for it 

I think it's time 

Time for another piercing 

I love my nose ring 

I think it adds something interesting to my face 

My Mum hates it

And is pleading with me not to get another one 

But it's falling on deaf ears 

I just really want to get it done 

I also inquired about getting wings tattooed on my shoulder blades

The girl I spoke to estimated it would cost around €300

So I won't be getting that done any time soon

But 

It's something to think about 

And to look forward to

For me 

Recovery is finding healthy ways to meet the needs that drugs met

Relaxation

Confidence 

Self esteem 

Fun 

Escapism 

All the things that drugs provide 

For a while at least

So I guess my meetings 

Horse riding 

Writing 

And my dogs 

All fulfil these needs 

And even better than drugs and alcohol and my ED did

And of course 

The fun thing is

That I can find more and more activities to make me feel content and happy

I can try new things 

Learn new things 

Meet new people 

The possibilities are endless!

Recovery means freedom

Free from the chains that my ED and addiction held me in

It means feeling free to eat 

To enjoy it

And to keep it down 

Recovery means eating until I am full

Not over or under eating

It means allowing myself to eat a rich and varied diet 

And not feel guilty 

Recovery means allowing my body to find its own natural set point 

And not constantly trying to lose weight and be smaller 

Recovery means peace of mind 

Contentment 

Serenity

It means I am enough 

Just the way I am

Not looking for others approval 

It means knowing that I am a good person

And I am doing the best that I can

Recovery means really living life 

Laughing until you cry 

Late nights watching movies with my mum and sister 

It means eating food At the table 

And having a conversation 

Recovery means feeling the fear and doing it anyway 

And knowing that I will feel great afterwards 

It means being happy in my own company 

But being sociable when I want to 

It means helping others through my story and my writing 

It means passing on recovery to others 

And sharing what helps 

And what works 

Recovery means asking for help when we need it

Talking it out over a cuppa and a slice of cake

It means feeling good enough

And not lesser or better than anyone else 

It means finding things that you love 

Work 

Hobbies 

Pets 

Whatever that may be 

Recovery means choosing to live

With all that said 

I was wondering about you

What does recovery mean to you?

Are you in recovery?

Is it everything you thought it would be?

What are the best and worst parts about recovery

Answers on a postcard please.....