I'm actually really blessed where I live
Because it's a great base to get to a lot of different meetings
I love the lunch time ones
As waiting for the evening ones can make for a very long day
And the day time ones are a great way to kick off the day
I have to be honest though
More often than not
I am looking for excuses not to go
And don't really look forward to them
But
When I do go
I am reminded why I need meetings
I never regret going to a meeting
And always feel really good afterwards
My first meeting ever
Was in a detox ward when I was 19
I can still remember the warm and fuzzy feeling I had after the meeting
That was 15 years ago
And since then I've been in and out of meetings more often than I care to remember
I seem to stick to the following pattern
I go to meetings
I'm really enthusiastic and motivated
I go to many in a week
And feel really good
Then I start to pull away
To isolate
And soon I have talked myself out of going to meetings at all
So I go through months or years of not going
Then I find my way back
And the whole cycle starts again
They say if you don't get AA
Eventually it will get you
I also go to NA
So really I gave my pick of meetings
The last time I was going to meetings
I depended on one person
If they were going to a meeting
I would go
And if they weren't going
I wouldn't either
I've learned it's not healthy to depend solely on one person
It's better to have many people
Friends
A mixture of people
And before
I went to meetings for the wrong reasons
I went to please others
To get them off my back
Now
I go because I want to go
Because I want to be clean and sober
Because I want to be a better person m
And I want to stop hurting myself And others
There is something very special about meetings
Maybe it's the way people come together with a common goal
Maybe it's the miracle that so many people have managed to stay clean and sober
Maybe it's the energy of people wanting to recover
Whatever it is
It works
And I need to stop fighting it
Stop digging my heels in
And go with the process
Easier said than done
So yes
I went to the lunch time meeting today
I didn't want to go
But my Mum offered to drive
So I went
The meeting is small but lovely
I spoke last
After the meeting
A man came up to me
And told me that I was doing great
He told me to keep coming back
And more will be revealed
It was very nice of him
And he told me that before I know it
I will be helping others
I left the meeting on a high
High on life
High on recovery
Better than any drink or drug
What I took from today
Is that we need each other
It's so important to connect with other people
Especially those who are in the same position as we are
It's also important to have face to face connect
Supporting each other through blogging is fantastic
There is no doubt about that
But we really need human contact too
We need to have a hug
Have a chat over a cuppa
And just be there for one another
The world can be put to right over a cup of hot tea and a slice of cake
Now
The next time I don't want to go to a meeting
I need to remember how good I am feeling right now
And keep the momentum going
I am feeling so grateful today
Grateful to have AA in my life
And to have friends within it
I'm grateful to be clean and sober
That my family are well
And in a good place
I feel blessed to have this blog
And all of you my wonderful fellow bloggers
Life is good
Life is sweet
Let's live it to the best of our ability
I went to a few AA meetings a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you're happy.
I am EM
DeleteOr at least I am getting there
Do you write a blog?
Kind of. I don't really know what I'm doing with it. Ha.
DeleteSupport from people that have been there, who knows what you're talking about, is priceless. I used to go to meetings at a women's centre/shelter and it helped me tremendously.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not giving up, not yet. Not yet.
I am so glad CP
DeleteYou don't have to do this alone x