It was great to be able to give her a good report about all the good things that are happening in my life
She was truly delighted for me
And said it made her job worthwhile
Seeing people like me get well
I was also so happy to tell her that I am barely purging any more
Since starting work
It has really been a rarity
Mary asked me to draw a pi chart
Of all the different areas in my life
It was quite a struggle to fit everything in
She asked me about blogging
And it got me thinking
I guess my blog has taken a back seat recently
And it seems to be evolving
Up until now
My blog has been been about living with and managing my ED and addiction
Most of my posts thus far have been ED based
And that's fine
Because that's what was going on for me
And it was great to be part of a community that thrived on supporting each other
But now I find myself asking
Where my blog is going now?
I feel a little bit like I am in limbo
I don't consider myself eating disordered in the clinical sense anymore
But I still have a long way to go as far as recovery is concerned
I have to be honest
Over the past couple of weeks
I have thought about stopping blogging altogether
As I don't know what I have to offer this community anymore
And my real life is so full
I don't have time like I used to
And I don't know if my blog is the hub that it once was
I seem to get less readers and comments
That shouldn't matter
And it doesn't
But I guess it makes me feel like my blog isn't wanted or needed anymore
Then there is the fact that blogger seems to be passé now
More and more people seem to use Instagram now a days
And less and less people seem to be using blogger
It kind of feels like a ghost town lately
With all that said
I don't really know what to do
Or where to go from here
I really want to keep writing and blogging
But maybe
Like a lot of things in my life
It's time to move on
I don't know
It's something I am going to have to work through I guess
And hopefully what I'm supposed to do will become clear
I was wondering what you think
Have you experienced this with blogging and recovery?
Have you felt like me and wondered what next?
Do you think my blog is needed and wanted?
I would really love your feedback on this one so do get in touch
I appreciate it
Ruby, you have to make a decision of what is good for you... I think if you still feel like writing, you should... for me even if no one ever read another entry or commented on my blog, I would still write but that is what I need to do... I think we all have our own reasons ... as well you are right, there are far less bloggers than there used to be and that is too bad but I think there are many reasons why... Instagram is good but it isn't the be all end all... pictures are awesome but I still need to write... good luck with your choices, I know you will make the right one for you, you certainly have come a long way xox
ReplyDeleteI really want to continue writing Launna
DeleteWhether it's blogging
Or just writing for myself
I guess a lot of people still read my blog
I just felt like I was growing out of the community if that makes sense
Thanks for the sound advice
I am hoping that it will become clear what I need to do
Because right now
I have no idea
Thanks Launna
Hope you are keeping well x
I experienced a little sooner than you did, I think, and I just let my blog naturally evolve. I only write now abiut once a month and two days ago was the first time I had posted in a while, but I realized that I don't want to get rid of my blog yet because it IS a community and I think when any of us writes it's a place to be very honest with one another where we can't on other forms of social media. I personally prefer blogger because I have been more myself and able to express myself so candidly. I love the people I've come to know over the last four or five years. Some of you guys I can only communicate with here because I don't have other information to keep in touch. I just love it I guess is what I'm trying to say. The blog is for you and it's not really for anyone else. The people that do read, like me, still keep tabs and comment. :) you don't have to wrote every day, just keep us updated because we want to see you succeed! Love you
ReplyDeleteI love you too Eve
DeleteYou are sound as we say in this country
That means you are salt of the earth
A decent person
Thank you for your continued support
It means a lot x
I love reading you. You've got a great voice for whatever topic you discuss and I would miss you if you stopped blogging.
ReplyDeleteI'm exciting to hear your work and horse adventures and look forward to when you get back into the dating pool.
There is so much more to you than ED and addiction. I think you would do a great service to the ED community if you continued to blog and show others there is life after the struggle.
Yes JJ
DeleteI think that's where my blog is naturally heading
To life after ED and addiction
Rather than life with it
I really don't want to stop blogging
So hopefully my readers will come with me x
I would definitely miss you if you stopped blogging, but at the same time I understand your feelings. My blog used to be all about the ED, and then mostly about recovery, and then there was a period I wasn't blogging much at all. I still like the blogger community in general, though, so I keep at it, whether anyone ants to read it or not. It's especially helpful during lulls in my fiction writing (like now....).
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, this is YOUR blog. Write it for you first, not for anyone else. If you like writing, keep writing. There are no rules for blogging.
xo
This is true Mich
DeleteAnd I think I will continue to blog
Except it will be more about my life in recovery
Rather than my life in the think of an ED or addiction
And OMG I would miss you so much
I would never leave without saying anything
I just hope I can find a little niche for my blog again
Because now that I am feeling better
I want the whole world to know that it is possible to recover!
I am walking, talking living proof of that
Mich are you coming to Ireland any time soon? X
"As I don't know what I have to offer this community anymore" i honestly don't know if it's what you've got to offer to the community. it's what the community has to offer to you is what's important.
ReplyDeletei like the idea of using my blog as a diary of events i want documented. it's what i'm using it as atm because memories are so precious. i don't remember much about when i was younger, and i'd love to remember more. but i'm also very specific about how i like it written or how i like it organised, but i'm trying to get that properly done and organised so i feel content with it.
i would miss you if you stopped blogging though. it's nice to know what you've been up to. it's nice to see you doing well after struggling for so long xx
i love you to bits, Ruby!
-Sam Lupin
I would miss you terribly Sam
DeleteI just can't walk away from you ladies
My friends
My family
My fellow sufferers and survivors
We've been through too much together to walk away
And you Sam
I don't think you know what an amazing person you are
Your kindness shines out of you
And the live in your heart can be felt from miles away
I just wanted you to know that
And I love you too
Yo bits and pieces x
Sorry
DeleteI meant life not live!
Silly auto correct x
I think your blog (and you) have a lot to offer still, but as an example of what it looks like on the other side of recovery...how do you live life with your ED and addiction in the past. Maybe your audience will start to shift? I would miss you if you decided to leave. :) I would understand though.
ReplyDeleteI've felt some shifting in my blog too, but it's not so noticeable since I changed websites. I went from more of a pro blog/personal diary to a recovery blog.
Thanks my lovely
DeleteYou are very kind x
i love reading about how well you're getting on and what you're up to. of course it has to take a back seat as other things take over and quite right too! would miss it if you stopped altogether and you always have interesting things to say, ED based or otherwise, you have inspired a lot of people with your recovery journey I'm sure. much love, jo x
ReplyDeleteThanks Jo
DeleteFor your comment
And for always being there for me
You are a treasured friend
I'm not going anywhere though
I guess I will keep writing
And see how my blog changes with me
This blog means so much to me
I would hate to stop writing
And I still feel like I have so much to say
So I will hang around a little longer
How are you doing? X
I do hope you don't stop blogging completely, but I certainly understand if you take a break. I used to be really active myself, but lately it feels like I'm just regurgitating the same old crap. We are not under any obligation to keep writing!
ReplyDeleteTrue CP
DeleteAnd you are such a gifted writer
You should definitely keep it up x
It makes sense that you might have less to write about/less need to write about what's going on these days.
ReplyDeleteBut I do think it'd be a shame of you stopped blogging completely. You're one of the true rocks of this community, Ruby. It's definitely still a hub. I understand if you don't post as much, but it'd be nice to still get occasional updates, whether it's about your ED or general mental health or work or your dogs. Just to know you're doing okay. You're under no obligation, of course, but I would be sad to see you leave completely.
I'm wondering if seeing yourself as 'in limbo' is limiting the blogs you're reading? I don't have much trouble finding new blogs these days, and always have new posts to read. I know you wouldn't be throwing yourself into some of the 'sicker' blogs, but I'm wondering if you're hesitant to throw yourself into the recovery side of the community too? I dunno. Just a brainfart.
P.S, thank you for your beautiful card. I just got it yesterday. I lovelovelove the butterflies and glitter. Thank you, my friend.
Lots of love <3
xxBella
You make a good point Bells
DeleteI haven't actually really sought out recovery blogs
Do you have any you could recommend?
Oh yay!
So glad you got the card x
Your story of recovery is so encouraging! I would be happy to read more as you continue on in recovery at whatever frequency you decide to post for as long as it feels right to you to keep writing. (If that makes sense!)
ReplyDeleteThanks Lydi
DeleteI will definitely continue to write
Whatever happens x
You shouldn't feel forced to blog. But you also shouldn't feel like all you have to offer the blogosphere is your ED recovery.
ReplyDeleteHello EM
DeleteThanks for your comment
You are right x
I'm thrilled to read of your progress and I'm sure your regular readers are as well. I echo the comments above; you shouldn't feel like you have to blog about ED if you don't feel that describes you anymore-and you definitely should not let it define you. You can blog about anything you wish, as often as you wish, because this is your space. Perhaps you'll lose some followers, or gain new ones, but the them of your blog (if you choose to have one) is your choice.
ReplyDeleteI had been blogging for a few years, did the A to Z challenge a couple times, and had about 125 followers. Then depression dragged me down and I thought that everything I wrote was rubbish and no one want to read my word vomit anymore. So I left for a year. Swore I'd never blog again. Lost tough with all my blogger friends. And when I started to crawl out from the rock I was hiding under, I realized that I missed the community and missed sharing my thoughts - regardless of the audience.
I think you'd miss it too if you left. I know lots of people would miss you ;-)
the *theme* of your blog...is your choice.
DeleteThanks Chris
DeleteI definitely want to continue writing
That is one thing I do know
But my blog is changing
As am I
It's good though
It means I am growing x