Injury

I was off work for a few days last week

As the centre was quiet and I wasn't needed

However

Georgina rang me on Wednesday 

And asked if I could do the house keeping shift the following day

I jumped at the chance 

As I need the hours 

And would be glad of the money 

So I arrived in to work for 10am

Prepared for a full day of hard work 

I got straight in it 

Stripping beds 

Changing sheets 

Replenishing towels 

I was on my own 

But Georgina was up and down to me 

I was following her out of one of the rooms 

And I was kind of trailing my fingers on the door 

When the door closed

And it closed on my thumb 

These are not any ordinary doors 

They are big heavy fire doors 

That close themselves 

So the door closed on my left thumb

I felt the pain

My thumb being utterly squashed 

Georgina was ahead of me 

But I couldn't get the words out 

To tell her I was stuck

But fair play to her 

When she saw the look on my face 

She realised what had happened 

She had to come around me 

To open the door and release my thumb 

It was only seconds 

But it felt like an eternity 

I looked at my thumb

It was all squashed and twisted looking 

Georgina immediately told me to hold it under cold water 

While she ran and got ice 

I couldn't really think straight 

I think I was in a bit of shock 

Another worker and the chef came up to me 

Which was nice of them 

I headed down to the dining room

To drink a cup of sugary tea

And to sit and hold the ice to my poor thumb

After sitting for a while 

I went over to the other centre 

Where a very kind woman called Denise coveted my thumb in arnica 

To help prevent bruising 

But still

My thumb was turning black as we watched it

To be safe 

Denise rang the doctor 

And they told her to send me over 

I went and collected my bag 

And we drive over 

Even though it was only down the road 

In the mean time 

I rang my mam 

Who happened to be shopping in town 

So she made her way over to me 

I wasn't waiting long in the doctors 

It wasn't my usual doctor 

But it was Nice Woman Doctor 

So that was good 

She examined my thumb

Asked me to give a thumbs up

Which I couldn't really do 

I also couldn't really bend it

She said there was 40% chance that the bone was broken 

And said if it got any worse 

To go into casualty 

So she gave me a letter to give radiology 

And told me to go home 

And keep an eye on it 

So having barely worked a couple of hours 

I was heading home for the rest of the day 

I felt really pissed off

As I felt I was letting people down 

But hey 

What could I do?

I would have been no addition to them in work 

And I could have further injured myself 

So I took it easy for the set of the day 

My thumb was sore 

But it was pain I could bear

So I was pretty sure that it wasn't broken

And I was back in work yesterday 

And today 

The season is kind of winding down now. 

And we are not as busy 

I love being in work on a Friday 

As I get to meet everyone checking in

And it's easier to remember faces and names 

At least I find easier 

There are a lovely bunch staying with us this week 

Some real characters 

And this is what I love about my job 

I get to meet a whole range of different people 

From tiny tots to the elderly

Disabled people 

Mentally unwell people 

From all over 

And from all walks of life

It really opens my mind 

And reminds me that there is a whole wide world out there 

And most of all 

It takes me away from myself 

From ruminating 

Procrastinating 

From obsessing about one thing or another 

I am so busy at work 

That I don't get a chance to worry over my own stuff 

Which is great 

I really love my job though

I love everything about it 

My co workers 

My manager 

The guests 

Everyone is so lovely 

It's like this job was made for me 

It's busy 

But not stressful 

It's demanding emotionally 

But I can handle that 

And am able to leave work at work when I leave 

Most of the time anyway 

I am just so grateful that Georgina gave me a chance 

Because that's exactly what I needed 

Someone to see past the illness 

The addiction 

The struggles I have 

And give me a chance to grow and blossom and flourish 

Georgina is an incredible lady 

So passionAte about her work 

And that runs off on me 

I am definitely learning a lot from her 

In lots of areas 

How to deal with people

Sticky situations 

How to multitask 

How to work smarter instead of harder 

And my work is not just a job 

We provide holidays for people who might not ordinarily get one 

We help financially 

And we are there to chat and to listen 

It runs like a hotel 

But it's not really a hotel 

It's a house 

And everyone is welcome 

I really feel privileged that I get to help a family or a group enjoy their holiday 

I love chatting to the guests 

And probably do it a bit too much 

But look 

If it helps them

I am more than happy to sit and listen 

Some people just want someone to talk to 

And often times it's easier to speak to someone whose not directly involved in the situation 

So yes

I  am happy out at the moment 

Before I know it 

The summer will be over 

And do will my job 

I will really miss it though 

Even though Georgina said if anything came up

She would keep me in mind 

So hopefully something will

I need to tell you 

I feel in a really good place at the moment 

Life couldn't be better 

Of course I get days when I don't want to get out of bed 

When everything I try on makes me look huge 

When I just want to sit and cry my eyes out

But everyone gets these days 

I am not special 

I am human 

And as humans we have bad days 

And that's perfectly ok

It's normal 

Show me a person who never has a bad day 

And I will eat my own foot 

My happiness at the moment is not connected to my weight 

Or the fact I am self medicating 

It's an inner happiness 

That comes from feeling good about myself 

From work hard 

Both at my job 

And at my recovery 

I know I'm lucky 

I have a strong family around me

Some amazing friends and co workers 

I couldn't ask for more

I remember from AA

There are 12 promises 

And one of them is that you will find a life beyond your wildest dreams

It's not about money 

Or material gains 

It's about living a real and authentic life 

From opening my heart and my mind 

From feeding myself good food 

From not weighing myself 

From being the best person I can be 

So today 

I urge you 

For one day 

Let go of your vice 

See what life is like without it 

I promise you 

The feeling of contentment I have 

Is better than any drug

Any number on a scale 

It's a feeling that I am ok

More than ok 

That I'm going to make it 

Despite everything I have been through 

I still want to live my life 

I still want to carry on

You can't ask for more than that...