The year in photos

So it's the end of another year
2014 has been eventful to say the least
Instead of me telling you about it
I thought I would show you the year in photos
Here goes......

Bye bye cigarettes

Winter walk

My mum, my brother and his partner, my sister and I

And of course Honey and Lea all bundled in to the car yesterday to go for a winter walk

We walked for a good hour

Before we headed for dinner in a cosy pub 

Here are some photos of us messing
Oh
And to the anonymous commenter who said that I looked 'disgusting' in my Christmas photos
Sorry
You'll have to be more creative with your insults to get me to stop posting photos
Try again....

My name is Ruby and I am an addict

So today is the 27th
Christmas came and went
And my Mother and sister and I think it was a roaring success
And all without a drop of alcohol
Actually thinking about it
That's probably why it was such a success
When I was growing up
Christmas day was always the day to get paralytic drunk
Everyone from my Dad to me drowned the day in alcohol
That is apart from my Mother who rarely touches a drop
We would all get get merry
And have a great time
Then we would cross over in to drunk
A fight always broke out
Someone would insult someone
Someone would get angry
Someone would cry
It always ended in tears
I don't miss that one bit
I can remember as a child hiding in my room
Listening to my parents fight
My father was a horrible drunk
Saying and doing really mean things

One by one
Over the years

We all gave up the drink
My father because he almost lost everything
Including me
My sister because she was losing her son
My other sister as it was a cause for concern in her life too
And me because mine was really getting out of hand
There is rarely alcohol in my house
Most people know that none of us drink
But I have to say
I do miss a drink
The last drink I had was last Christmas
At my uncle's wedding
I had a glass of bubbly
And a couple of vodka and orange juices
I was slightly tipsy
Not drunk

I would love if I could drink in moderation
Have one or two
And leave it at that
But I never seem to be able to do that
Once I start I just find it very hard to stop
Take my brother for instance
Last night he had two glasses of red wine
And left it at that
I could never do that

My family is kind of split down the middle
We have my mother
Who has two brothers and one sister
There seems to be no trace of addiction on her side of the family
Then we have my father
He has nine brothers and sisters
And almost every one of them has addiction issues
Then we have me and my two sisters and brother
My sisters and I all have had a brush with addiction
But my brother seems to have no problem is that area
It seems to be the luck of the draw

I grew up with addiction in my own house
The word itself was in my vocabulary from a young age
I know that I have the type of personality that can become addicted to anything
When I was a child it was white bread and sugar
Then as I grew in to a teenager
I became somewhat addicted to shoplifting
Then smoking at 14
Other drugs and alcohol
And heroin at 18
Which brought me to my knees

But my addiction comes in many weird and wonderful forms
Over the years I have been addicted to all kinds of things
Exercise
Weighing myself
Laxatives
Enemas
Television
Diet pills
Sleeping pills
The internet
If something makes me feel good
I want it again and again
And nothing will get in my way

Addiction is a terrible affliction
There is no doubt about that
It not only effects the addict
But like a ripple in a pond
It effects everyone around them
Not only does the addict get sick
But the whole family gets sick
Addiction very nearly tore my family apart
Actually it did
And it took us years to heal
We are still healing in a lot of ways
With addiction there is always a lot of learning
And a lot of growing
I had the opportunity to go to treatment a few times
And the things that I learned there have stayed with me
It was an amazing experience
I remember when I was there
We used to say that everyone should go to treatment
Not just addicts
Because you learn and grow so much there
Even though addiction very nearly ruined my  family
In a lot of ways it brought  us closer together
We weathered the storm
And came out stronger

Having an addictive personality means that I think differently to other 'normal' people
I do believe that us addicts are slightly different
We have a unique slant on things
That van be both a good thing and a bad thing
I know that I can be super sensitive
I can over think things
And twist them in my mind
But I am also more sensitive and more aware
I like that

Being an addict is part of who I am
Would I change it?
No
Life would be easier yes
Of course
But I wouldn't be me without it
If I lost my addiction
I would lose all those little quirks and foibles that make up my personality
So no
I wouldn't change it
My name is Ruby and I am an addict

Photobomb!

I just wanted to share this photo of me photobombing my uncle and my brother

It gave me a giggle

Hope it gives you one too.....

St. Stephen's Day

It's the day after the night before here

We are all tired and groggy after yesterday's celebrations

I am still not feeling great

But better than I was in the run up to Christmas

Today will probably be spent in front of the TV

What with all the Christmas specials on

I hope you had a peaceful and relaxing day

I got on some sneaky shopping on Christmas Eve

Here's what I bought.....

Christmas Part 2

So  Christmas Day is almost over

We had a full house

I am kind of glad it's over

The day itself can be long and boring

Even though it's a day of peace and joy

I feel disconnected

On the outside of things

Maybe I am too sensitive

I had a really tough day yesterday
Everyone was getting in to the Christmas spirit
But yesterday my weight was up
And no matter how much of my meds I took
I couldn't switch off
So I ended up taking way too much
And nothing
Today my weight was down 1kg
It was the only thing that could lift my mood

Anyway

Here are some photos from the day

Hope you enjoyed yours

No, I am not smoking
I am just holding my Dad's Cuban cigar

Christmas Part 1

Just a little post to wish you all a happy, peaceful and relaxing Christmas Day

I was the first up this morning

I put on my fleecy socks 

And pottered down to the kitchen

I let the dogs out

And made a cup of hot sweet tea

I cradled my cup as I sat by the window

And enjoyed a few quiet minutes before the madness began

After my cuppa

I went and woke my sister and mother

They got up and we all wished each other a happy Christmas

I gave mum her presents

Three books she wanted

And a set of Avoca soaps

Which smelled delicious

My dad then got up

And we brought the dogs for a walk

Down to the lake

And then over to the beach to watch the Christmas swim

Here are some photos

And part 2 I will post tomorrow

I hope you are enjoying your Christmas where ever you are

Whatever you are doing

I hope you are able to forget about your worries

Just for a few hours

God knows you deserve it

We deserve it

We have suffered for long enough

Happy Christmas

To you and yours