I just started writing my blog in May of this year although I had been a silent lurker for a while
Thankfully I was welcomed with open arms in to this community
And for that I'm so grateful
We have a truly unique community here
For me it's a safe place to go
A place where I can pour my heart out
Where I can bare my soul
It's a place where I can share my darkest secrets
And painful memories
It's somewhere to vent
To get the demons out of my head
It's somewhere where I know I won't be judged
I can also share my joy and happiness here
I receive unwavering support from you girls
You've seen me at my worst and at my best
Geographically we are worlds apart
We may never meet or even speak
But I still consider you all some of my dearest friends
We come from all walks of life
Different ages, races and places
But we are all connected by one common thread
We are eating disordered
We are struggling
We are in pain that is almost impossible to bare
We are a bit lost
We don't know where we are going
We are victims or more like survivors of this illness
We are all at different stages
Some of us have been suffering for a long time
Some are dipping their toe in to recovery
But we are all in this together
In treatment, at meetings, in my life and through this blog I have met some amazing people
People suffering with eating disorders are some of the most beautiful, caring, loving, talented, artistic and sensitive people I have ever met
I think we are hyper sensitive
We feel pain and hurt so very easily
But it also means that we feel compassion and empathy for others
I think about the friends I've made here a lot
I wonder how you are doing
I worry if you are going through a hard time
Sometimes bloggers disappear
One day they are there and the next they are gone
I wonder what happened to them
Did they recover?
Did they get worse?
Dis they go to treatment?
Did they die?
This blog and you girls have literally saved my life over and over again
Reading comments makes my day
I've been shown such unconditional love and support that sometimes it's overwhelming
I don't consider myself a great speaker so writing is ideal for me
And I've discovered a real passion for it
We are all fighting our own personal war
But it's a war that we will win
We are all afraid
But we won't let that stop us
We feel utterly alone
But we have each other
There is a war going on inside our minds
But we will have peace of mind one day
We may feel we are going insane
But that's not true
We believe we are weak
But we are stronger than we know
We are afraid of what the future will bring
But we only have to worry about today
We've forgotten how to laugh
But we will again one day
We are killing ourselves slowly
But we will survive
How has blogging helped you?
What a lovely piece of writting :) I used to have a blog for over 2 years and this is my most recent one and I have been overwhelmed by the support from others in the last week. Thank you for commenting on my post and putting a smile on my face :D Its a tough journey for all of us but here is a place we can all vent and support each other. Much Love xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Lucie, it's true, the people here are truly awesome
ReplyDeleteI would be lost without this blog
Love to you too x
Beautiful Ruby... your posts are always so inspiring and motivating. I'm really new to blogging, but I don't know how I ever lived without it. I don't have support really where I live, so the blogging world is my let out. I place I can be real and not afraid to be vulnerable. Getting out the demons helps so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm so tired of the mind games, but blogging has saved me time and time again. And people's comments literally give me a reason to keep going. It truly is an amazing thing...
Hope you are doing well darling x
Thank you Destiny, you are too lovely
DeleteIt really is great to get supporty from such amazing girls here, I care about each and everyone of you
Comments make my heart swell when I know I'm not on my own in this thing
I am well sweetie, hope you are too x
I love you my dear. I am so grateful for the way you have supported me through my journey and I'm honored to do the same for you. You are such a beatiful writer =)
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Love you too Katie, I'm only doing for you wahr you have you have done for me x
ReplyDeletethis is so beautiful ♥
ReplyDeletei feel the same way as you about blogging. i've been doing it on and off since 2009 and have *met* so many amazing, like-minded people through it whom i now consider friends despite having never met them in person. for me writing on my blog is very theraupetic and a place where i feel comfortable sharing anything, no matter how dark or crazy it might seem. to be honest i feel more of a connection with my internet friends than i do with anyone in my real life. every so often i do a giveaway to thank my followers for their support- in fact i have one running now.
it's interesting reading over the last three years worth of posts and all the ups and downs i've had, it's almost like an autobiography or something.
i hope you're doing okay lovely :) xo
I wholeheartedly agree, blogging is like therapy for me, I would be truly lost without it
DeleteAnd yes I am also closer to people here than I am to some in real life
I'm doing ok thanks, hope you are too x
blogging is my sweet escape too. Helps me write the things I can't speak of.
ReplyDelete+To Me It Matters+
Same here, I feel I can write better than I can speak x
DeleteI'm sorry for disappearing, I didn't want to leave, and now I really am lost without my blog. I want to write so badly, but I am afraid to. My thoughts and inner self have been exploited to my whole family. A family that believes I am not only crazy but a liar. Reading my blog didn't help with that. To my horror they had been reading for quite a while. Not just my mom, but my dad and probably a few of my older siblings.
ReplyDeleteI plan to start a new blog when I feel safe enough, right now I'm too scared. Things are terrible at home and my outlet and support group are now out of reach to me. I will hold on though, this too shall pass.
I miss my blog, and yes, it has helped me. When things were too heavy to bare, just writing it out and receiving comfort from people who understand was what I needed.
I miss you, but in the meanwhile, I'm not going to stop reading your lovely blog. What you wrote was beautiful, and so true. <3 Thank you.
Oh sweetie I am so sorry that your family have been reading your blog, that is such an invasion of privacy.
DeleteAnd I'm sorry that things are tough at home
I hope you know that we never doubt you here and you are loved, people really care about you here
I hope you can start another blog and keep it anonymous, I know how much it means to you to be part of this community
I am always here for you, don't hesitate to contact me if you need to
Lots of love x
Blogging is so important and helpful to me. I can be completly honest and open here and not be worried about how others will judge me. We are all very understanding to each other and I think we all realise we are all doing the best we can on any given day. I also feel very protective of all the women whose blog I read regulary and worry when there are no updates. I sometimes wish I could throw a hugh party and have us all meet but maybe what makes our connections so strong is that we know we are largely anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same Josie, all you girls are like my sisters
DeleteIt's amazing to have a place where we can totally be ourselves without fear of judgment of rejection
I would be lost without you girls x
I didn't know you were new! I think I started around the same time as you.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is great, isn't it? You're right- we get unwavering support and we get to give it to those who are suffering through the same things we are. We get a place to tell people our darkest secrets and be accepted.
And I love the part at the end. Sometimes I don't believe all those encouraging lines you posted but being externally reminded by someone else with an ED is really powerful.
Thank you ruby!
It is a unique place Emily, I'm glad you benefit from it too
DeleteLove x
blogging has saved my life numerous times over
ReplyDeletei invented englishrose before my blog
but without my blog now there would be no englishrose
i love writing pictures videos and most importantly reading others and commenting them because i know how beautiful it is just to get one response to a post
blogging is like a diary but more creative and less restrictive
it should be a safe place people dissappear because their safety/anonimity is in jepody
xx
I hope that's the reason and it's not something more serious x
DeleteIf I had never started blogging I would not be alive today. It's that simple.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment *huggles* I'm using knitted lace to distract myself. It's hard to listen to the depression voice when you're trying to hold a bunch of crap like 'k3, yo, k2tog, k1, ssk, k2' in your head. Each row is different so there is no time to listen to the brain.
I'm going to have so many shawls it's going to be ridiculous.
Don't listen to your demon, ok? You're one of the best things to happen to the blogosphere and I don't want you to disappear.
Love you to bits *hugs*
Same here Peri, it had saved my life time and time again
DeleteLove you too x
I know what you mean, I don't do this because I want to but because I have to. I don't know how I'd survive without it. Love.
ReplyDelete/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
♥
I agree Avy x
DeleteAw you are so loved dearest! I hope you always remember your 'family' here in those dark moments, we are all here for each other.<3
ReplyDeleteLove you xxx
We are all loved Melrose
ReplyDeleteLove you too x