Nighty night

My friend and I went in to town yesterday to do a spot of clothes shopping before our mindfulness course
I am not great at shopping at the best of times
I'm a quick shopper
I get in
Get what I want
And get the hell out of there

I wasn't planning on buying anything
In fact I wasn't looking forward to shopping at all
Hot, sweaty shops
Fighting to get your size
Tiny little changing rooms
With unforgiving lighting
No thank you very much

We headed to River Island first
To my surprise I quickly found a few items that I wanted to try on
I wasn't sure what size I am so I took  sizes 6, 8 and 10 with me
After trying on many clothes I came to the conclusion that I am some where between a 6 and an 8
I haven't been clothes shopping in a quite a while
When I am regaining weight it's not something that is on the top of my list to do

But I did it
I tried on clothes
I didn't cry when I saw my reflection
I noticed my shape
I am quite curvy now
Pointy bones and sharp edges have given way to a more womanly figure
And you know what?
I don't hate it
I don't feel particularly bad about it
In fact I felt ok
Not fantastic
But ok
And that my friends is a freakin' revelation

I don't know what has changed
I don't even know when the change occurred
Some time around the time that I started the Prozac I think
I just don't feel the hatred I used to feel for my body any more
Do you know how much that means to me?
More than I can put  in to words

I will post photos tomorrow of said new clothes
I am just very tired now
Nighty night