Counselling appointment

So I had my first addiction counselling appointment yesterday afternoon

I wasn't expecting much

As I've had many such appointments over the years

And they never amount to much

Other than me sitting through them

And counting the minutes until the hour is up

But this was someone I've never seen before

A woman

Called Breda

I arrived for my appointment at 2pm

It was in the same place where I see my doctor

Who I ran in to in the hall

He's always very friendly

And says a big hello

I knocked on Breda's door

And she answered straight away

I followed her in

And sat down

I'd been referred from my doctor

So she knew very little about me

Other than I was on methadone and other meds

I explained a little about my history

Which is always a pain

But it has to be done

I also explained about my recent slip

I found her great

Really on the ball

She obviously has a lot of experience

She said that I have come a long way

And even though I have slipped

I have a lot of work done

She was very positive

And very encouraging

She asked me about my days

I told her that I don't have much structure 

Other than picking up my meds

And my dogs

She said it is important that I have a reason to get up in the morning

I couldn't agree more

She also mentioned Mary

And how she is back in get post as eating disorder specialist

She said she would contact her about seeing me again

I am super excited about that!

Breda is also referring me for holistic therapy

Like reflexology and reiki

As she thinks it can really help

I was delighted about this

And it will only cost me €5 per session

Which is amazing!

She also gave me a pros and cons list about my addiction

Encouraged me to stop thinking about meetings and to just go

She also recommended meditation and mindfulness

I came out of the appointment feeling really good 

She said that she doesn't new to see me every week

So I am seeing her again in two weeks

In the mean time I have a lot of work to do 

Breda was great

I had lost faith in addiction counsellors as the last couple I've had were really brutal

It was soul destroying sitting through a whole hour with them

So Breda was a breath of fresh air

I feel a bit more clear now

Of what I need to do to get back on track

And I feel I can do it

If I can just stay away from Thr Boy

Which is harder than you might think

So today is a new day

A day where I don't use 

I don't misuse my meds

I don't text The Boy

Or reply to his texts

I walk my dogs

I eat as well as I can

And i do everything I can to help myself

I am blessed to have amazing support

Even Breda said that I am in a very fortunate position 

I drive

I have my own car

My family are nothing but supportive

I have a safe place to live

I want for nothing

This a great chance for me to get back on track

And I will grab it with both hands 

I believe that there is a life for me beyond my addiction and my ED

There is a course I can do

A job I can succeed in

A boy that is right for me

All this is just there waiting for me

I just need to reach out and find it

My destiny is not to be drug addled and destitute 

Or to die at the hands of my ED

I know there is a better life that I'm meant to lead

A better road that I am meant to take

I don't know what that is yet

But I am sure that if I stay on track

It will all become clear

I just have to do the next right thing

And I will

Or at least I will try my level best

What is the alternative.........?