Fighter

I've decided to fight

To fight for my life

For my sanity 

For my health

And my mental health

For my future

For my dogs

But most of all for my family

I might survive another relapse

But it would damn near kill my family

I truly believe that an addicts family get the brunt of addiction

At least the addict gets to zone out with drink/drugs

The family has to suffer through it all

So yes

I was sitting on my living room with my mother and my sister last night

And I thought to myself 

Where would I rather be?

Would I rather be out in The Boys house

Drinking cups of poppy tea

Passive weed smoking

Listening to them waffle on in a drug addled monologue about the meaning of life?

I suddenly thought to myself

I don't want that

I would much rather be here with my family watching Eastenders

And drinking good old fashioned Barry's tea

It's no exaggeration to say that The Boy has turned my world upside down

And my poor sister doesn't know what to do

It's up to me to put this right

And to earn get trust back

Not easy let me tell you

I just don't want my mother to know

If I can get through this without telling her then I will

But yes

I have no other option than to fight

If not for myself

Then for my family

They don't deserve this

God knows they have suffered enough

I'm doing this for them

Until I'm able to do it for myself