What a week......

Its been a tough week to say the least

I lost a friend 

And I'm still reeling

I'm not quite sure why it happened

But she chose to walk away 

And I guess that is her perogative

Still

It was quite the nasty break up

I think she said some things she didn't mean

I know I did

In the heat of the moment

We both came out bruised and battered

Nasty business

And I am left wondering if I am what this person said I am

A Fake

Uncaring

People pleaser

Then on Tuesday my neighbour died

I think I have mentioned my neighbours before
They are an elderly couple
She is a tough as old boots
Salt of the earth type
He was a proud Scot
Very shy
But with a heart of gold
Their story is heart breaking really
After his first wife died
The man remarried out neighbour
They met in AA
And both were recovering from their respective addictions

They married

And moved here some 20 years ago

They were always great neighbours

They would watch the house if we were away

Or mind my dogs from time to time

But more recently there has been some trouble in their house

They both began drinking again

And chaos ensued

Two years ago 

The wife became extremely unwell

And was hospitalised

We went to visit her

She didn't even know her own name

Let alone who we were

And that was caused by drink

We thought that she wouldn't pull through

Because she was so far gone

But she is a fighter

And she bounced back amazingly well 

I have no doubt that she was lucky to have survived

Then one morning

About six weeks ago

The wife asked me to pick up a prescription for her husband

And told me that he was ill

I did what she asked

And later on that day

We saw an ambulance leaving the house

We went over to see what had happened

And it turned out that the husband had had a stroke

He had in fact had the stroke three days prior

But his wife thought that he was drunk

And was slurring his words because he was drunk

So she didn't phone the doctor until a couple of days later

When the doctor arrived

He immediately called an ambulance

He was brought to the local hospital

Where he stayed for the next six weeks

The wife has no family around

And a lot of the mans family seemed to be estranged

So it was up to us 

Her family and friends

To support her

And help 

Jobs like getting her shopping

And bringing the dog for a walk

The husband left his wife with huge debts that he had acquired

Because he was drinking all his money

We got the news that he had died on Tursday night

We sat with his wife that night

And held her as she cried 

It was heart breaking

Even though he was an elderly man

It was still a shock

The removal was last night

And what an appropriate day

It was cold and dark

And we all huddled together trying to stay warm

And this morning was the funeral

A lovely simple service

They did him proud

This really hits home to me the destruction that addiction causes

It tips families apart

It breaks hearts

And causes no end of hurt and pain

If I needed a reminder not to go back down that road 

Then this is surely it

I'm finding that if I stay busy

It's easier not to think about using or The Boy

I need to put that relationship to rest

No good can come of it

There is someone out there for me

Who is good and kind

And most importantly who is stable

Anyway

A relationship is not my priority at the moment 

Getting well is

I know love will happen when I am ready

I know that I am not at the moment