Anorexia in men

The weather was shocking last night

So instead of heading in to town to NA

I decided to head to one of the villages near me to AA

My sister was going too

So I called in to get on the way

And we both headed over

For some reason I get a lot more nervous at AA meetings 

Maybe because they tend to be a lot bigger

We arrived 

My sister made tea

And I took a seat in one of the comfortable arm chairs

We chatted for a few minutes 

And then the meeting started 

Just then someone came in

And took a seat across from me

I recognised the person

A guy 

But I couldn't tell where I knew him from

Or how

The first thing I noticed was that he was very slim

Then when he sat down

He took out a packet of sweets

And seemed very absorbed in them

As the meeting went on

I glanced over at him a couple of times 

I knew him from somewhere

I just couldn't figure out where

He was young 

Maybe younger than me

Dressed in jeans and trainers

One leg crossed over the other 

He really was very slim

I had my suspicions 

After the preamble was read out

The meeting began

This particular guy was the first to speak

When he introduced himself

I knew straight away who he was

He was a guy I used to know

A long time ago 

He went to NA at the same time I did

He looked the same 

Yet he looked a lot different 

The meeting went on

I spoke a little bit

It was over before I knew it

Afterwards we all had tea

And this guy came over to talk to me

He remembered me too

I told him that he looked different

He said henchman lost a lot of weight 

That he had been very sick

And they did lots of tests

But they couldn't find anything wrong with him

And that it was psychological

This sounded very familiar

As this is pretty much exactly how my story started out 

He continued to speak

He mention 

Weight 

Numbers 

Exercise

I could relate to everything 

He was speaking at a terrific rate

Words poured out of him like water

And I was finding it hard to keep up

Eventually I told him how much I could identify

I said I didn't know if it was the same thing

But I had anorexia/bulimia 

And it was every bit as serious as my addiction

He did not exactly say the words

'I have an eating disorder'

But he pretty much described the text book ED type

He talked about having four sets of scales

Running

Trying to get below certain weights

Typical behaviours of someone with an ED

He explained how it was very difficult to talk about it 

As men don't talk about that kind of thing

We went outside

He smoked and talked

I listened 

The words continued to fall out of his mouth

He is obviously  in a bad place

And doesn't have his addiction fully under control either

We drank our tea

And got ready to leave 

I took the guys number 

And he asked me to text him

I said I would

I think this is the first time I've ever spoken to a male with an ED

Maybe I have in the past unknowingly

But this guy is the first

I really felt for him

I guess this illness is mainly thought of as a female illness

Maybe this is why he's telling people that he's been ill

As it's easier than telling the truth 

He was on my mind all last night

I just kept thinking how much he had to deal with 

And how life is so cruel

And how could I help him

But I need to be careful when I start thinking like that

As I start thinking I can save the world

And get way ahead of myself

It's not my place to help this guy

I need to help myself first

I had to remind myself that I am in the same boat as this guy

I am the one that needs to accept the help right now

Not give it out

I guess last night was a reminder that men suffer from this illness too

Albeit it's a lot rarer in men 

But we musn't forget them

In other news 

I am doing good

My new teeth are amazing

And I am going around grinning like a Cheshire Cat

I am getting on average one meeting a day 

And it is doing me the power of good

To anyone that is struggling out there today

Hang on in there

Just keep hanging on

As my sponsor used to say to me

Don't quit five minutes before the miracle