I did a really silly thing yesterday
And accidentally took two days methadone
Instead of one
It was a genuine mistake
I had just come in from work
Was very tired
And just didn't think
I then panicked
As I realised that I was now one day short
I am not working until 5pm today
And I had no appointment with my doctor
And knew I wouldn't get one
So I decided to head to the surgery first thing this morning
And bypassed the receptionist
And went and sat outside my doctors room
I know that's a bit cheeky
But it was a special circumstance
He came in with his first patient
And have me a nod when he saw me
When the patient came out
He called me in
I apologised for ambushing him first thing on a Monday morning
And explained it was a bit of an emergency
I told him what I had done
And thankfully he understood
And write me out a new script straight away
This has never happened me before
And I was so glad that he saw me
And believed me
As I'm sure it could have looked like I was just looking for me meds
I was very grateful though
They he saw me
And gave me the script with no questions
I thanked him for seeing me
And went in my way
I guess I am very lucky
That I have a great relationship with my doctor
And he will see me at a moments notice
I know that it is not typical that a doctor will do that
But
I have been seeing him every week for over ten years
And I don't cause any trouble
Yes
I can be awkward when it comes to reducing meds
But I am always honest with my doctor
And I don't take the piss at all
I'm incredibly grateful to have an understanding and empathetic doctor
Not every one does
In other news
I have had a lot of very interesting and insightful comments on my blog over the last few days
It seems like the direction of my blog is changing
And so are my readers and comments
After my last post about horse riding
And the instructor
Someone left a very interesting comment
I think it was Shelby if I remember correctly
She wrote about how people outside of family, therapists, nurses and doctors
Can be opinionated
Bossy
Rude even
But that's life for you
I think it's a very interesting point
Thus far
The people I have encountered
Are mostly family of course
My doctor
My psychiatrist
My counsellors
Staff in treatment centres
People who care
And are very kind and gentle
Now I am out in the big bad world
Working
And putting myself out there a lot more
So of course I am meeting a wide variety of people
And not everyone is as tuned in to me as say my family
And that's perfectly fine
I don't tell everyone I meet about my issues
That wouldn't be right
So people can be assholes
That's life
Thankfully
The people I've encountered so far
Have been amazingly friendly and kind
Especially at work
My co workers are so lovely
Always willing to help out
And good craic too
But of course I have met some people who aren't so nice
Not so much in work
But in every day life
And that's fine
It's unrealistic to presume that we will get on with everyone
Not everyone will get on
And not everyone will like us
That's just the way it is
So yes
My life is a hell of a lot more interesting now
I am making new friends
My confidence is growing a little bit every day
And it feels so good to have s purpose
A reason to get up in the morning
To have my own money
That I earned and worked hard for
It's such a satisfying feeling
And also having a pay cheque every week is a bonus
Actually having a bit extra money is amazing
I don't have to scrimp and save
And I can treat myself now and again
So all in all
Life is good
My life is full
With work
With my hobbies
Horse riding
Writing
My dogs
I feel good
Fulfilled
Content
Happy even
Long may it last.....
I hope you can access this essay about ...'Learning to be kind to yourself when you (inevitably) make mistakes could have a remarkable effect on your happiness'
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for your words. Treasured and from the 'other side of the pond' in the States. Keep blogging!
Here's the LINK to the essay...(cut and paste the entire, long link)
https://aeon.co/essays/learning-to-be-kind-to-yourself-has-remarkable-benefits?utm_source=Aeon+Newsletter&utm_campaign=cc4a44f176-Daily_Newsletter_20_June_20166_20_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_411a82e59d-cc4a44f176-68979977
Thank you for this x
DeleteOnwards and upwards; it sounds like things are going well, of which I am glad :)
ReplyDeleteMe too CP
DeleteMe too x
I firstly want to say I'm so proud of you for how far you've come over the last little bit. Its truly incredible and inspirational.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I'm so glad you have such wonderful doctor. My doctor and I have a similar relationship (although I've only been seeing her consistently for just over two years ) and it makes a world of difference when it comes to my treatment
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well getting out of your comfort zone and doing new things, and meeting new people. True, not everyone you meet will be pleasant, but as long as you can treat every new person as a new lesson/experience, I think that's good.
ReplyDeleteHope you can start working to reduce the methadone soon. It will be a big challenge, but a huge step in your recovery. Your doc sounds like a good sort. I like mine, but to be honest I think he has so many patients, he just hands out drugs and does little to get to know us. :/ My regular doc would never have prescribed me regular doses of any kind of sedatives, as he had he me labeled too high a suicide risk. They've changed the laws here now, only a psychiatrist can prescribe things like anti-depressants and sedatives, and only if you meet with them once a month. It's a god thing, I think. We've had more than a few medical malpractice cases at work where the patients had access to waaaayyyyy too many drugs and ended up overdosing.
Hope you are well!
That's such a good point about how surprising it can be to be treated in a different way than we are used to being treated by the people who have been helping us recover. Reading that, I realize how my relationships have changed so dramatically since recovering from an ED. I'm actually "the stable one" in a lot of my friendships now. I'm the one that listens to other's problems and tries to comfort and advise. I still have friendships that are more supportive to me personally, but it is quite a change to have people depending on me and seeing me as a resource. It can get overwhelming, so I also have to make sure I'm doing ok and talk to the people that are good at helping me work through my own issues. It's good to have relationships where we are providing a bit more help than we are getting, but you're right that we can't just let ourselves get used up.
ReplyDelete