Lady

I went horse riding again today

At the stables near my house

Today I was on Lady

Who is in fact Rayons mother

Rayon you might remember from last week who was like a bolt of lightening he was so fast

I was in a class of four today

With Lisa 

Who you might also remember from last week 

Who is the ex show jumper 

Chloe who actually works at the stables 

And another kid whose name I didn't get

Right from the start 

I felt way out of my depth

All these girls had been riding for years 

And here I was with less than four months experience 

Trying my best to keep up

Roisin was out instructor again today 

This lesson feels a lot different from the horse therapy I do on a Wednesday 

I feel a lot more pressure at these lessons 

To perfect things 

And to get things right 

Horse therapy is so much more gentle and relaxed 

Of course we try and do things right there too

But these lessons are definitely proper lessons 

So yea 

I did feel like I was trying to keep up today 

I'm really trying to work on my canter 

Roisin tells me I am bouncing rather than sitting in 

At one point she said everyone was sitting in except for me 

That didn't help my confidence much 

But then again 

At another point she said I was doing well for a beginner

I would love to ask Roisin if it is worth my while keeping it up 

I mean shit

I know I'm never going to be a champion horse rider 

But it would like to know if I am making progress 

As I am trying really hard 

And it's always nice to get some positive feedback 

I forgot to ask Roisin today 

But I will definitely ask her next week

I just want to know that all my hard work is not in vain 

And I am at least improving A little 

I came home feeling a bit deflated after the lesson 

And did something incredibly stupid 

I was measuring out my methadone 

Thinking I only had today's and tomorrow left 

And accidentally took two days instead of one

Which leaves me with no methadone for Monday 

How stupid of me 

Now I'm going to have to get to the doctor on Monday

Which is a right pain 

But I can't go without it 

It had to be done 

So needless to say 

I am not having a good day so far 

Roisin tells me that cantering should be easier 

But I feel like I am bouncing quite a lot m

I try to sit in

And do the things that Roisin shouts at me 

But I just felt like a total numpty today 

In comparison with the others 

I had a chat with my Mam when I came home 

She thinks I put too much pressure on myself 

She is not wrong 

I am very hard on myself 

And I want everything done yesterday 

I have to remember to pace myself 

To allow myself time to learn and improve 

I mean I do love it 

But I probably  enjoy horse therapy more 

I know some of you have experience with horses 

Don't was wondering if you had any advice 

For someone whose confidence is at an all time low 

I want to ask for feedback from the instructors 

But part of me is afraid they are going to say that I should probably not give up my day job

I don't know 

I guess I am just having a rough day 

Below are some photos from today 

I keep forgetting to get a photo when I'm on the horse 

The first ones are of me and the beautiful Lady 

The last couple are of myself and Lady

And Lisa and Rayon

Also 

Any tips and advice on riding are very much appreciated