Falling in every sense of the word

I'm making a concerted effort to blog more

So here I am 

There is so much going on at the moment 

Coco and trying to care for him

I start work in two weeks which I'm very anxious about 

My Dads health isn't great 

He was recently diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease 

And he spends a lot of time staying with us

As you may know my parents are separated

So that makes for interesting dynamics

As well as all that 

I did something really stupid on Monday 

I was over in the field with Coco and his owner 

We had just brought Coco for a walk down the lane 

And were back in the field 

Cocos owner suggested that I get up on his back 

And Miss Easily Led over here decided that was a good idea

He gave me a leg up 

And I was on his back

He was ok for a few seconds 

Then he seemed to spook and bucked and I came off

I landed on my right side and hopped my head off the ground 

I waited to feel pain

But all I could feel was utter shock 

I knelt on the ground with my head on my knees hoping I had done no damage 

But I was ok

The only thing that was hurt was my pride 

So as you can imagine 

I am feeling rather stupid 

I woke up the next morning with pain all down my right side

But it's easing and no permanent damage was done 

I went riding yesterday 

And told my trainer what had happened 

She was pretty gobsmacked that I could be so stupid 

She is also encouraging me to step back from the whole Coco situation 

It's tough because I have built up a relationship with the pony 

And he's become part of my day 

Part of my life 

Part of my little animal family 

So to walk away would break my heart 

It really would 

But my being thrown off was solely my fault 

And his owners fault

After the fall

I had to get on the back of a motor bike 

To be brought back to my car

And then drove the half hour home 

Which now that I think about it was pretty stupid

I could have had concussion or worse

Could have blacked out

I've had different reactions from everyone I've told 

Some are shocked 

Some think it's all part of looking after a pony 

Some think I should back off

The thing is though 

That Coco has come on so much recently 

He's a different pony to the one I met back in January 

I just need to slow down a bit 

As you may know 

I am a person of extremes 

All or nothing 

I go from zero to 100 in jig time 

So maybe I just need to put the brakes on 

And pace myself a bit 

In other news 

My anxiety at the moment is really effecting my food and my appetite 

Which is bad as with all the activity I'm doing I need energy 

It's just very hard to eat when your stomach is in knots 

And your head is a mess of negative thoughts 

I'm hoping that once I start work 

The anxiety will ease 

And things will level out 

Hopefully 

I don't know about you 

But I find social media quite anxiety provoking too

I use FB and a particular FB group

And every time I post 

I am worrying what people think

What will they say?

I mostly get positive feedback 

But there is always one person who can be on the nasty side 

But I guess that's what you get when you put your life out there for others to see and judge

You have to take the rough with the smooth

Anyway

I hope y'all are doing ok

I hope your week is going better than mine..