I had been dying to know my weight
As I felt like it was spinning out of control
I was going to buy a scales
But they had none in my local pharmacy
Is that a sign or what?
Anyway
As I waited for my meds to be dispensed
I spotted the stand in scales in the corner of the store
It was one where you put in a coin
And it takes your weight
Your height
And your BMI
Curiosity over took me
I took off my jacket and my trainers
And put a coin in to the slot
I stood holding my breath
As if the air in my lungs would effect the reading
The machine printed out my ticket
I put it in my coat pocket
And I took a seat
I was torn about whether to look at it
It was burning a hole in my jeans
I wanted to know
Yet I didn't want to know
I knew it was a bad idea
But I just couldn't help myself
I tentatively pulled the slip of paper from my jeans pocket
My heart was thumping
And I prepared myself for the worst case
I opened the ticket
And processed the numbers
My weight in stones and pounds
Also in kilograms
My percentage body fat
And my BMI
Which was between 21 and 22
It couldn't be more average if I tried
And I hate being average
Seriously though
My weight is pretty much what I thought it was
Even so
I don't like it
I feel big and cumbersome
And generally feeling a bit upset about the whole thing
I'm not going on a diet
Or anything of the sort
I just want to become a little more mindful of how I eat
And not exist on chocolate bars and chips
I want to establish a healthy eating plan
And look
I know that's not sustainable 100% of the time
Everything in moderation
Including moderation
I just want to feel Ok in my body
And I don't feel that at the moment
I'm not slipping or relapsing at all
That is for sure
I just think that I don't need to gain any more weight
So I can put a halt to that now
So
With all that said
I was wondering about you
Have you ever tried to eat differently while in recovery?
Do you think it is a good idea?
Why?
Your feedback is much appreciated....
