Life with addiction, anorexia and bulimia
I would like to talk to someone while i recover :( I desperately need someone to talk to and I'm so thankful that I've come across your blog. You seem to have endured so much already and honestly, you give me hope. Please do help me.i will email you :)
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Ruby I am a 37 year old female recovering from anorexia athletica/ exercise bulimia. I have struggled since I was 20 with ED. At my lowest weight a BMI of 19 I lost my period, my hair and my friends. I developed bradycardia and almost needed a pacemaker. My life consisted of overexercise and binge eating. Even with the binges, completely undereating caloric needs for the amount of exercising. I saw your picture and you look so much like I did in my 20s. I abused amphetamines instead of heroin. I finally decided to move across the US to Colorado and got the help I needed, I have restored weight. My hair is back,periods back, my heart is back to normal. Just recently the night sweats stopped. I am still struggling with food rituals and semi/binges. I hope to recover fully. I have the exact same body disporphia that you described. I feel like you are almost a mirror image of me. I am always shocked to see a picture of myself if I look thin and pretty. I think of how I felt when it was taken, how my thighs felt huge and I felt so ugly. It really is torture what mind tricks do to you.Anyways, good luck in your journey, I know you can beat ED. Life is full of enjoyment once EDs voice is muffled.
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Hi there,I just started ED outpatient therapy and had my very first group this past Monday. I had a few one on one sessions as well before then and have met with their dietitian as well, but nothing very regular until now. They gave my a list of safe blogs to read. I checked them out but immediately was drawn to yours because it mentioned addictions as well as eating disorder recovery. I am also in recovery from a really bad opiate addiction (nine months sober!). I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you writing this and sharing your story. I'll definitely will be following it throughout treatment over the next year or so. I also have a blog, I kept it during my darker times so the older posts may be a trigger, but if you'd like to check mine out, I'll be starting it up again as a way to journal through this process. Anyway, thanks again! Much love, JDee.
I have just stopped the madness and started eating. I'm up 3 kg and I feel like my body has been hijacked by aliens. I want to be better. I want to be healthy and strong and give my body a chance after years of abusing it. I'm in my 30's now and have been punishing it for over 20 years. Took this long but I'm there now.I'm recovering on my own though so any support or words of encouragement from people that understand is very much appreciated.We keep on keeping on because what else is there. The other option is not an option.Loo x
Dear Loo,Your comment made me smile. I am also in my 30s, realising the "madness" of a quarter of a century of disordered eating and how beautiful health is in itself -- I mean such a beautiful thing to hope for, to reach for - it's taken so long to see it, but it is so real once one glimpses it. Like you, I'm basically on my own with this. But, I know that everyone, everyone has problems and those who aren't struggling with this are struggling with other things. We're never alone.Love, x
Hi, read your blog for the first time today, I hope you are having a good day. Your dogs are fab. Lots of love xx
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Hi there! My name is Marisa, 31 y/o. I'm currently suffering from an Eating Disorder. I restrict, over exercise, I wouldn't necessarily say I binge... But whenever I eat a normal amount of food, I want to get rid of it ASAP. I'm also in recovery from addiction. I loved what you said about how your ED was right there the whole time during your drug addiction, just waiting. That's how I feel as well. My email is MJL1084@aol.com. Would love to chat. In the meantime, I will be checking this blog out daily for inspiration. Thanks.
Hey Marisa,I hope you see this replyI sent you a little emailNot sure if you got it or notAnywayI'm here if you need to talk/write x
First i thank to allah for your happiness
Thank you for leaving some love x