Wednesday, 30 September 2015


Before I forget
I want to apologise for not replying to comments or reading your blogs while I've been away
I don't always have wifi
So I blog when I can
And don't get a chance to do much else

Today was an early start
Especially for me
As I didn't sleep well at all last night
At 1am
When I still couldn't sleep
I took a days meds
That did the trick
And I did fall asleep
But it has left me one days meds short now
So I really need to ration what I have left
I have under two days meds for three days
If I though about that too much
I would worry and stress and fret
And wouldn't enjoy the rest of my holiday
So I am going to forget all about it

This morning we woke early
And got up at 6 30am
We stumbled around our room
Trying to wash 
And pack
We had breakfast in the kitchen instead of the roof terrace
As it was a bad day
There are two little women in the kitchen
Who make all kinds of beakfast
Every morning I've been having toast and a boiled egg
But this morning I had an omelette
Just with salt and pepper
Having breakfast is quite the revelation for me
At home 
I don't usually have any thing
And if I do it's something silly
Like three biscuits
But here I've been eating a substantial breakfast 
And keeping it down 
That keeps me going until lunch time 
When I might have cheese on toast
And again
No purging
However I have been purging my main meal
But the thing is
I don't always feel like purging
It's more out of habit than anything else 

The two little women in the kitchen help us with our breakfast 
And usually we then go to the roof terrace
Where there are another two women 
Who make tea or coffee 
But as I said 
This morning we ate in the kitchen
We tipped both the kitchen and house keeping staff
As they have been great
Every day when we head out
The staff clean our room
Leave fresh towels and toiletries 
Clean bed linen 
Even folding our pyjamas 
So they really earned their tip

Packing this morning was funny
In a kind of I want to pull out my hair funny
As usual 
We all brought far too many clothes with us
And bought so much stuff
Trying to fit it all in to our suitcases was a military operation
After much struggle 
And with the air blue from cursing
We got them closed
And we hauled them down to reception
We thanked all the staff
And called a taxi
And off we went on the next leg of our trip

We arrived at the airport in good time for our 11am flight
We checked in 
Made our way through security
The plane was delayed so with the hour in the air and another hour waiting
We arrived in Izmir at about 1pm
Next we had to find a train to take us to the town we were staying called Selcuk
That was a palava
We found information 
And the metro stop
Saw there was a train going at 2 pm
Went to buy a ticket
But were told we had to buy it at a different booth
Where there was no one
We asked again 
And they said someone would be along shortly 
50 minutes we waited
I shit you not
We almost missed our train 
And I almost lost the will to live

So that was fine 
We had our tickets 
We were on time for the train
Which came a short time later 
We each had a huge case 
And loading them off and on transport was not fun at all
But we did it 
And made it to Selcuk in one piece
From there we got a taxi to the hotel
What a relief to finally drop our bags and sit down 
Oh the comfort and the luxury of it all after a long journey
So it is from my hotel bed in my complimentary slippers that I write this post
In starting to flag now
And am kind of ready to go home 
To see my dogs
To have a proper ham sandwich 
And sleeping in my own lovely bed

Here are a few photos....

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

The art of haggling and other stories....

As today is our last day in Istanbul
We devoted most of the day to shopping
Buying gifts and keepsakes for ourselves
First we headed to the spice market
Where we loaded up on different spices
We went to stall 51
Where Rick Stein went making his most recent cookery and travel show
For anyone that doesn't know
He is an English chef
Who made a show recently 
About cooking from Greece to Istanbul

After taking many photos
See below
We braved the Grand Bizarre 
Which is the largest indoor market in the world
With 4000 shops
It employs 30,000 people
Thankfully it wasn't too busy today
We stocked up on gifts for family and friends
As well as a couple of things for ourselves
I bought Turkish slippers 
And a Turkish bathrobe
All for very little 
It was an amazing experience
Everywhere you go 
People are shouting at you
Asking where you are from
And do you want to buy what ever they are selling
As they will give you 'special price'
For 'special lady'
If you showed the slightest bit of interest in their wares
They literally pounce on you!

We had a very interesting experience in one of the many scarf shops
It was the first shop that we showed interest in 
There were two guys working there
I touched one of the scarves 
And he went in for the kill
He brought me in to the shop
Draped the scarf beautifully around me
I asked how much
He said 110 Turkish Lira
As I began to leave the shop
He knocked it down to 90
Then 80
I refused and said we would be back
And as we walked away
One of the guys followed us
And dropped his price to 70
At the end of the day we did go back
The same two guys gave us a great welcome
Brought us in to the shop
I wanted to buy one
Mum wanted to buy a couple 
And my brothers partner also wanted a couple
The two guys sat us down 
And displayed beautiful scarf after beautiful scarf
The guy dealing with us had quite good English
So we spoke in Irish amongst ourselves 
Which became very confusing indeed
The guy asked us if we wanted apple tea
We said yes
He rang someone on his phone
Two minutes later someone arrived with a little wooden table
And erected it in the middle of the shop
Following that
A tray with six Apple teas
I swear it felt like we were in that shop forever
He said he would give us the four scarves for 270TL
So we agreed to that 
He packed them for us 
And we headed out
But just as we were leaving 
He called my mother back
And offered her one more scarf for 40 TL
So in all
We ended up with five scarves for 310 TL
And given they were cashmere
It was a bargain

Below are photos of the day
Hope you enjoy 
And you get to experience a little bit of Turkey...

Monday, 28 September 2015

Last day in Istanbul

Today is our last day in Istanbul
Tomorrow we are flying to Ephesus
Today we are dedicating to shopping 
In the spice market
And the Grand Bizarre 
So that should be interesting
Part of me is sad that out holiday is nearing an end
But another part of me is super excited to go home
Especially to see Honey and Lea
As I have missed them so so much

Here in Istanbul
I've seen very few dogs
And the few I have seen have been panned out on the ground asleep
They don't look very well cared for
They are skinny and malnourished 
On the other hand 
There seems to be an endless amount of cats here
They are everywhere
And people seem to be really nice to the them
They feed them 
And don't shoo them away
They are pretty well looked after 

My sister and I went up to the main shopping street
And I found H&M
And Topshop
I decided I would go in to one rather than both
So I chose H&M
Where there was a sale on
I bought a top
And some lounge-y type pants
I've gone way over my budget
But isn't that what holidays are all about?

Here's a few photos....

The scales are following me....

We were in our hotel room the other night
After a long day of walking around the city
Our room is small for three people 
There is a double bed
For my sister and mother
And a kind of loft bed for me
Up a little ladder
Even though the room is small
It is perfectly formed 
And they have made the best use of the space
There is plenty of storage
And that what we were looking at the other night
Opening all of the drawers and cupboards 
Having a good ol' mooch
When my sister shouted 
'Look at this'
She pulled what she had found from the drawer
And set it on the ground
Yes, you've guessed it
The dreaded scales
Cue menacing music
Don don doooooon.....

God dammit
Even on my bloody holidays
I can't get away from the scales
My sister stood on it first
And let out a shriek as she registered the number
I won't tell you what it was
As she might read this
And could possibly kill me
Even though I really wanted to stand on n it too
I resisted 
But just knowing it was there
Was driving me to distraction
I tried to forget about it
I really did 
But after having a shower that night
I pulled the scales out 
Tapped it to set it 
And gingerly stood on it
The flashed
It was in kilos
I registered the number
And stood off
I gave myself a minute to gauge my reaction
Waiting for onslaught of self hatred and misery
I haven't weighed myself in about 6 weeks
The number was high
There was no doubt about that
It was a number a was not comfortable with
But to my surprise
I stayed calm and relaxed
The number didn't effect me in the way that I thought it would
There have been times in the past
When I weighed myself 
And curled up in a ball
And weeping
There have been times when I saw the number
And literally had a physical reaction to it
But today?
Today I felt

This morning 
My mother and I went to the pharmacy
To pick up a couple of things
We were just waiting for the pharmacist 
When out of the corner of my eye
I saw another set of scales 
They are everywhere!
And they are out to get me!
I ventured closer to it
And wondered if anyone would protest if I stripped there and then
And stood on it 
I figured they would 
So instead
I stood on it fully clothed
Something I hate doing
I registered the number
The same as the scales in our room 
And again
Felt nothing 

This is a new revelation
And one I'm not entirely comfortable with
Because it's different
It's new 
It's change
And as well all know 
ED girls do not do very well with change 

My body image is not great however
Taking photos here has been a bit of an ordeal
Eight out of ten times
I look at a photo 
And absolutely hate it
And take it again
Until I am happy 
Or at least semi happy with it
Take yesterday 
I know I posted quite a few photos
But they were the best of a bad lot
There were so many others taken that I just couldn't beat to post
Because my face looked fat
Or my arms looked fat
Or my toes looked fat
Or something looked fat
There were photos of me with horses
Photos of me beside the pond
Many photos of me with my family 
That I just could not post
Which is sad really
But I think most people want to present the best image of themself to the world
And I am no different 
The ones I posted yesterday
Just barely made it on to my blog
I still can't look at them
I just post them 
And forget about them

Apologies for not replying to comments while I am away
Normal service will resume when I return at the weekend 
Also I need to catch up on your blogs
So I will also do that when I get home
I hope you are all doing ok
I know our community spans the whole of the ED spectrum
Some of us are still struggling
Some of us are embarking on recovery
Some of us are somewhere in between 
Some of us are anorexic
Or a mixture of all three
We are all struggling one way or another 
All fighting for a better life
For a brighter future
And we will get there
I have so much faith in every one you
I truly do
So please 
Today be kind to you
Be gentle to you
Because you are an important and valuable person 
To your family 
Your friends 
Your blogger family here
To us and them
You are precious
Don't ever forget that 

Sunday, 27 September 2015

Sights and sounds of Turkey...

My oh my, we have been busy little bees today
We got an early start
And were out of the hotel
Washed, dressed and fed
Before 9am
We got the Tunel Funicular to the Kurokoy tram stop
And from there to Sultanahmet 
First stop was Topkapi Palace
Which was the former home of the sultans
Where we queued for an hour
But we did get to see an 86 carat diamond at the end of it
Was it worth the wait?
Mmmmm not quite sure

Next stop
Hagia Sophia
Which is one of the worlds greatest architectural monuments 
We wandered around for quite a while in there
It was so nice to go inside 
And feel the cool breeze
As the day was so very hot

We then went to the Basilica Cistern
Which is a vast underground water system
Built by the Romans in 532
It was really impressive
Below ground 
And held up by 336 columns
It was so dark
The only light from a few lamps
Lighting up the water
And the huge fish in there

Enough with the words
And on to the photos....