Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Back? Maybe?

I miss you guys
I miss writing 
I'm on a Facebook group about horses and people seem genuinely interested in mine and Cocos story
So am thinking I might continue our story on this blog
And then she got a pony!
Anyone out there interested in reading about us
Do let me know
I notice my statistics are still quite high
So I would love to know if you are interested because I know I would love to continue writing
Yay or nay people?

Thursday, 16 March 2017

5 Years on...

Next month
I celebrate 5 years blogging
It's hard to believe 
So much has happened in those years 
And every bit of it documented 
It's been an emotional roller coaster 
So many ups and downs
Highs and lows 
Recovery and relapse
In to treatment 
Trying to recover from home 
Addiction issues 
My dogs
And my life now 
Where I am quite happy and content 
I hate to write this 
And part of me is really fighting this 
But I think my blog is coming to a natural end 
For many reasons
Blogger seems very dead
There is no buzz about it the way there used to be
 I'm now using Facebook more 
And my own Facebook page 
I don't use blogger half as much as I used to
So I think it's time to slip away quietly 
Of course this is not goodbye
I will still keep in touch with you all
That is not chsnging
But I will no longer be updating here 
Life is shooting forward at light speed 
And I can barely keep up
A lot of times I don't have the time to sit down and write a lengthy post
Things with my ED have also moved on
I don't restrict 
Purging is a rarity
I don't weigh myself 
I don't deny myself food 
My ED I'd gradually becoming part of my past 
Not my present 
So I just wanted to take this opportunity 
To thank you all
For your comments 
Your kindness
Your thoughtful words
Your patience 
Thank you for being there 
For reading 
For listening 
For gently guiding me 
For never giving up on me 
For believing in me 
Thank you for becoming part of my story 
For loving  me even though I hated myself 
Thank you for your advice 
Your wise words and sage suggestions 
For being a good friend 
For telling me what I needed to hear rather than what I wanted to hear 
Thank you for taking my story in to your hearts 
For sending me love from the four corners of the world 
Thank you for letting me cry 
For making me laugh
For allowing me to be myself 
For accepting me
For being the voice of reason
Thank you for reminding me that I am unique 
That I am lovable 
And that I am not a bad person
Thank you for never giving up on me 
For providing a safe place for me to fall
For forming a supportive community of ED sufferers 
You girls saved my life and my sanity over and over again
Thank you 
I love you 
I will never forget you

If you want to stay in touch 
Please email me
We can Facebook or whatever suits you


Saturday, 4 March 2017


Still here...

I am still here 
I know 
I'm not terribly active here on blogger anymore
But I do like to check in once in a while
I've had a busy week to say the least
Mary had asked me to do some media interviews as part of EDAW
So I did two radio interviews
And two newspaper interviews
I have to tell you
It was a scary business
But I think they went well
I really did my best 
And I wanted to do for all ED sufferers out there
And for you 
Monday I did Ocean FM
Which was live in the studio
At one point I went completely blank 
Couldn't remember what I was doing
Or saying 
 Couldn't even remember my own name 
But I think I managed to pick it up again without too much dead air
The interviewer was lovely 
And Mary and my Mam  were there
I couldn't ask for better support
It lasted about 15 minutes 
And I did my best to get everything in to the interview 
Of course when it was over 
I thought of all the things I could have said 
But look
It's done now 
After the interview on Monday 
We picked up the newspaper I featured in
I went in to the shop
And there I was on the front page
I nearly died
And immediately became super self conscious 
Theng there was a big photo of myself and Mary on page 11
Oh my God it was a very strange experience seeing myself in print
Then on Tuesday 
I had an interview on Shannonside FM
Which was over the phone
Again I was very nervous 
At one point I mentioned my blog 
And the interviewer asked me for the name of it
I didn't know what to say 
So I said I would tell him after the interview 
He didn't push the issue after that 
I was so relieved to have all the interviews over with 
I probably will never know if I helped anyone 
I know in the days following 
Two girls presented to Mary having heard my interviews
That in itself is amazing!
To know I made a difference 
And my story mattered

On Wednesday 
I went horse riding 
And we had the final day of our course 
So they did a little graduation ceremony 
And we got certs and ribbons
So lovely 
I am thoroughly enjoying horse riding again 
I wish I could do more of it
I know now that I made the right decision leaving my course 
I have no doubt about that 

In other news 
You might have seen that I made a Facebook page for me, my dogs and Coco
Being a bit of a technophobe 
I am still trying to navigate my way through it 
I don't know how to share the link here 
So if someone could let me know 
I would be hella grateful
But yes 
My relationship with Coco continues to blossom
I love that little pony so much 
He brings so much happiness to my life 
Bit by bit 
He has relaxed around me 
And is letting his personality shine 
He is such a character 
A cheeky monkey 
One of his favourite things to go is pull my hat off my head 
And play with it in his mouth
He also likes to run around like a complete lunatic 
He drinks tea 
He rolls around 
We play chase 
And generally have a lot of fun
I am now taking charge of feeding him
And more interest I show in him
The more his owner stands back 
So I'm not really sure what is happening 
But I'm too attached now to walk away

In other news
I booked a day photographer to come and take photos of me and the dogs and Coco
We are going to do it in the field 
It costs €90 everything included
So I think that's pretty good going 
Can't wait to share them with you 

That's all from me today 
Hope you are all doing ok
And if someone could please tell me how to share the link to my page 
I will love you forever....