Saturday 5 May 2012

You like your girls insane

In an effort to kick start a four day fast I took 2 diet pills this morning. Now I remember why I don't take them. They make me feel really queasy  and they  mess with my head. So I'm too sick to eat, drink or even smoke a cigarette. Have been lying on my couch for the last 2 hours watching the final of Masterchef New Zealand. Food porn.

The last few nights I've been waking up in the middle of the night absolutely ravenous and have been raiding the kitchen cupboards for something to eat. I think this might have something to do with my mysterious weight gain. I'm not even fully awake when I do this. I'm sleep bingeing. What a greedy guts!! I'm waking up the morning surrounded by twix wrappers, crisp packets and other debris from a midnight feast. This has to stop.

I was thinking about inpatient treatment for eating disorders and how it didn't really work for me. I've been in treatment 3 times and granted I've never actually finished the programme successfully but it doesn't seem to have worked. Maybe I just wasn't ready. I was wondering if any of you (if anyone's reading this)  have been in treatment and how you got on.

Ok I'm off to watch Come dine with me (more food porn)

Much love,

Rubyxxx

3 comments:

  1. Do you want to recover? I think it works when you are determined for it to work.. but I dont think it ever goes. Its always there. I have had it since I was what 12/13.. maybe younger and now I am 22.. But hey, I have never *properly* tried to recover so I dont know.. I would like to hear someone who has honestly "recovered" because personally I think theres no such thing.

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  2. Hi lovelies! I can help with info on *recovery* and all that it entails. Ive been through inpatient quite a few times and I totally get where you're coming from with the feeling that it doesn't always seem to work. I have my own ideas about it but I don't wanna write a marathon post here haha.

    Email me em.mydream48@gmail.com if you want more info.

    I'm happy to motivate/encourage or just answer questions if you're curious about recovery.

    Much love
    Emmie xxx

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  3. Oh and I am also into food porn.. Bit of an obsession at the moment. Masterchef has just started new season (6 nights a week!) and I'm halfway through a Nigella Lawson DVD.. Heaven!! There's some awesome food picture collections and quotes etc i have too on we heart it.

    http://weheartit.com/emmielouise/sets

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