Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Anybody out there?

is it just me or is the blogosphere gone very quiet?
I know that I myself have been quiet and haven't been around much
But it just seems so very quiet
Having been away for almost 3 months I logged on this morning to read some of my favourite blogs and a lot have either been removed or have gone private
Then I scroll down my blogroll and see that a lot of bloggers haven't posted for some months now
Some even up to a year
Where has everyone gone?
Rayya?
The Lovely Bones?
And Thindarella who I had become very close to seemed to just drop off the face of the earth!

I wonder what has happened to these girls
Did they get well?
Did they finally tell their EDs to fuck right off and live happily ever after?
Did they become tired of reading about so many girls endless plight?
Did they find a life beyond their ED and just don't blog anymore?
Did they become very ill?
Are they in hospital?
Did they die?
I wish I knew

Maybe there are a whole a host of new blogs out there that I don't know about?
I don't know
Part of me hope there isn't
I don't want to find new blogs of girls just starting out on this heartbreaking journey
I don't want anyone else to have to go through this
This nightmare

As for me
Well, I'm ok
I'm hanging in there

I just want to know who is still out there?
Who still reads this blog?
Anybody out there?

23 comments:

  1. I will always read your blog Ruby... I'm glad to hear you are hanging in... keep hanging in girl :-)

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  2. I still read and write, just sometimes a little less. ♡

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  3. Hey lovely, I sent you my doubly underground blog invite just now :) Rayya doesn't blog now but I message her a lot :) I'll let her know you think of her. Sorry you're struggling so much. Xxx

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  4. I am always here reading your blog. And I agree. I got on last night to find only two girls have posted over the whole weekend. Maybe they did get better or grew tired of reading about other girl's eating disorders. But you can always depend on me to be here reading and blogging. Lots of love.
    XOXO

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  5. Still here, always reading :] not much writing though.
    Lots of love xx

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  6. I'm still here, always reading. It's so nice to hear from you. I still write in my blog. I don't know if you read it or not, but if you want to check it out you can. Keep hanging in there. I believe in you. Xx

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  7. I'm around.. Lately I just don't have much to say.. So.. Yeah it sure is pretty empty out there..

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  8. I'm here too... but have been very quiet cos I've been trying to start up another blog which is more of an encouragement to other recoverers... I decided Tears Behind The Smile needed a new start and so moved to beautyfromthefire.wordpress.com if you wanted to check it out...
    Sending love to you Ruby. x

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  9. A lot of people have stopped blogging. I always wonder what happened to them too, but I have to hope they're doing okay. I still read everything you write, even if sometimes I suck at commenting. Hang in there Ruby. I'm always here if you need to chat. Lots of love to you xx

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  10. I'm around... so sorry I haven't been commenting much lately, lots going on. You have been in my thoughts xxx

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  11. I tend to reinvent myself every few years. I have been having a hard time of that lately, but I think I have found a home I can stay at for a while. I am still settling in though.

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  12. im still bobbing about for some reason, always reading your posts! xxx

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  13. Wow, weirdly ironic to log into blogger after a few weeks and see this post. I went on a hiatus to do some real life lving, try to get out of the blogosphere, away from the negativity a bit. I'm doing as well as I can be I guess, not a whole lot new. Stress from uni, a bit of family drama.

    I thought of you the other day though, I wondered how treatment was. Would you still want to keep in touch through e-mail? Mine is prettysmilesfakelies@gmail.com if you'd like.
    I hope you're doing well dear. Take care. I agree with you that I hope there isn't another circle of new struggles popping up some where. It's too much. Much love, PL

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  14. I'm here! I always read your posts! But I've gotten fewer views on mine as well. I wonder if I'm just boring to people or... what? I update it every few days... oh well!

    But don't worry!! I'm reading yours. :)

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  15. I'm still around. Still reading your blog! I love my Irish Ruby. So coming to pester you in November. If you're cool with that, of course :p Give Amaris a break from my insanity or drag her along too. Hmm. . . .

    We're going through a phase where people randomly vanish from blogland. It happens every now and then.

    I think only one of my original followers is still around. The rest just up and left without saying anything. I'm honestly terrified that Minaralou broke herself purging but I've got no way to find out if she's still alive. So many people have gone and I miss them soo much.

    Sending you hugs from the bottom of the world <3

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    Replies
    1. DRAG ME ALONG TOO IF I'M NOT IN DACHAU!!!! :)

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    2. What a fucked up comparison! You are really very sick!

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    3. Also comparing treatment to a nazi death camp can't be particularly constructive. Just a thought.

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  16. sry - i did not intend to comment, but referring to DACHAU is inappropriate, misplaced, tasteless and means making a mockery of one of the biggest crimes in the history of humankind. And before I get bullied here in response please do think about it. This comment – no matter how the person who wrote it might be suffering - is mocking every single holocaust victim!

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  17. I have been quite lately because I haven't been able to find the words to describe how I feel. Things are changing in my life and I am excited for the next chapter but I don't know what to do about everything else. I am just unsure what my next step will be.

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  18. Hey, it's Agnes, I'm still here and reading, but I had to quit blogging. I'm in treatment now, I'm part of a therapeutic community now, which runs 3 and a half days a week, and I'm likely to be in for a year. It mainly deals with the BPD side of things, along with the ED. There are obviously some privacy issues, and part of the therapeutic contract is what happens in therapy stays in therapy. I can't run the risk of blogging about it and it being found, so I'd have to cut out that part of my life if I continued blogging and it's a big part!

    Another thing. I felt that blogging was having a negative impact on my life and doing me more harm than good. I felt it was validating my harmful behaviours, rather than helping me, and was attracting voyeurs. My life was rather a car crash and my blog(s) always attracted far more traffic when I was in a bad place and blogging candidly about it. I realised I had to cut the rope, and so last month I took the plunge and deleted my blog. I'm not better, I've just moved on. Maybe I'll come back, but when I'm in a better place, rather than just an entertaining car crash of a person.

    Anyway, enough about me, I've been worried about you and I'm really sorry treatment didn't work out. I suppose it's about not giving up, and carrying on fighting even though it feels near impossible at times. Someone used to say to mr, have blind hope. Not like blind faith, but go along hoping things will improve, and at some point it'll be replaced with real hope.

    I'm thinking of you, and still here, even if I no longer blog myself!

    Xxx

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  19. I'm still here and reading! I recently made a new blog (which I didn't send to you because I knew you were focusing on recovery, and didn't know if you'd still be blogging/reading after treatment) but I stopped posting a few weeks ago. My boyfriend thinks that the blogging community kind of keeps me trapped in my eating disorder, and kind of amplifies the whole identifying myself with my disorder. Even though it's incredible support, I do see how it can be unhealthy, so I've had to back off. I still think about you and all the other girls pretty much daily. I adore you Ruby and will always have you in my prayers, even if we never spoke again. You have truly made a large impact on me and my path to recovery, and I hope you can someday apply all those wise words to yourself. Stay strong and keep fighting love <3

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  20. hi Ruby,
    I'm still blogging. But I don't know if you ever visit my blog. I guess I'm not in the grouping of people you read.

    I don't visit your blog much lately. I thought you weren't blogging because of being in treatment. (I don't follow blogs in the way of signing on for getting email notices when people post).

    I haven't felt any confidence that you wanted to relate with me since you rarely reply to comments here or leave comment at my blog. Now I'm not saying this as a criticism of you. I'm responding to your questions about wonder what people are doing.

    I've been blogging for a couple years. I blog as a part of my recovery, to speak and to listen to others about stuff I wasn't able to talk about with anyone. Many of my favorite bloggers have stopped blogging or rarely blog. I have felt 'abandoned' by people I felt were my friends thru blogging.....they just disappear sometimes and it's bewildering, it hurts sometimes and I've had to learn to not judge and to let go with love if I can.

    I have heard you questioning if blogging is good for you. I know that is for you to figure out. I think if you are aiming to get better and focus your blog on that then it could be a healing thing. But if you visit blogs where that is not the focus then that might not be healing.

    I wish I had the energy to just read your blog, comment from my heart and not hope for a reply. But I have realized that part of why I visit blogs and write my own blog is to have connections and healing interactions. When I visit and read and comment and then never hear back it feels sad and if feels like talking to someone who is not listening or responding....it is not something that feels good for me.

    Please know that I feel a lot of heart for you. If you need to write your blog and you don't have the energy to reply to comments then that is totally fine. That's honest and real. We all have the right to know what we need and to go for it. I know you are in a fragile place so I wouldn't want to put any pressure on you. I just want you to find your way and to live and to thrive. Maybe later you will have energy to reply to folks.

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Thank you for leaving some love x