Thursday, 28 August 2014

Goddbye Mary

I had last meeting  with Mary yesterday
It was quite emotional
We talked about all the positives that have happened recently
We acknowledged the effort I have put in to get well
She said that I have worked hard
And I need to give myself credit for that
I find this hard to do
As a lot of the time
Recovery seems to be happening in spite of me
I kind of feel like it is carrying me along
And I'm not doing very much participate
Do you know what I mean?

When I was leaving
I gave Mary a thank you card
As I felt better able to write how much she has helped me
Rather than tell her
She seemed genuinely touched
She gave me a big hug before I left
Saying 'I shouldn't do this, it's not professional but I don't care'
But I think a hug was appropriate
I have been seeing Mary for 3 years
And they have been 3 eventful years
Many ups and downs
Crushing lows
And euphoric highs
Mary had been there through them all

I only wish that everyone with an ED had a Mary in their life
I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't have her help and guidance
I have to say that I am nervous
I am afraid to go forward with out her by my side
She has been a massive support

Goodbye Mary
Thank you for your kindness
Your wisdom
Your patience
Your hope
Your belief in me
Your blind faith that I would be ok
Thank you for understanding
For listening
For being a tower of strength
For never judging me
For never giving up on me
Even when I had given up on myself
Thank you for supporting my family
For helping them understand this cruel illness
Thank you for gently pushing me in the right direction
For always having a logical reason to all my questions
Thank you for always retaining a sense of humour
For laughing with me when there was nothing else to do
Thank you for putting up with me when I acted like a bold child
For realizing that my illness was separate from me
Thank you for being a beacon of hope
Even in my darkest days

You have helped me more than you will ever know
Thank you


  1. Awe Ruby this is beautiful... I teared up about Mary...I'm so glad you have her in your life... I've seen great changes in you... ;-)

    1. Thanks Launna
      I will miss her so much
      But I guess that is life
      We move on

      Hope you are well x

  2. I have a Mary called Katarina. Without her help through my whole ordeal with doctors and the National Agency for Social Insurance (who pays my disability pension) I would probably just have given up. I hope you find another one.

    1. Oh I am so glad that you have a Mary in your life
      Everyone should have one
      I hope I find another one too x

  3. I am so happy that you had someone like Mary in your life. They are rare to find. In all my years of therapy, I have yet to find one that I truly could connect with. Here's to a new path in your life sweet Ruby.


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