The Boy: First meeting

Ok

So you know that I've been in contact with The Boy

The boy being my ex boyfriends best friend

We've been texting back and forth over the last few weeks

Talking about meeting up

But it never seemed to happen

So Wednesday I decided to take the bull by the horns

And suggested we meet up yesterday

In a local coffee shop

I was both thrilled and terrified when he replied

And the date was set for 3pm

Thankfully

I met a friend in the morning

And was able to ground myself

I really didn't want my feelings to cloud my judgement

And as you know I am impulsive and compulsive 

And can't always trust myself

So talking with my friend was great

I do not exaggerate when I say I was high on nerves all day

I still hadn't told any of my family that I was meeting The Boy

But when I told my sister I was going out to meet someone

She straight away knew I was up to something

So I told her where I was going

She also gave me a pep talk

And offered to ring me mid date 

If I needed an escape

I declined her offer

As the only reason I would have needed an escape is if he was out of his head

Or blatantly using

And  I was pretty sure he wasn't

Although I wasn't positive

Then I had to figure out what to wear

I wanted to look casual but pretty

Effortless but put together

So I decided on my blue Fat Face jumper

My wine coloured Brakeburn trousers 

My new Roxy high tops

And my Superdry snood

I also straightened my hair

And ruffled it so it looked tousled and shaggy

I decided against make up

Because I have no idea how to apply make up properly

And I didn't want to look too done up

So I applied a little foundation

Just enough to give me youthful glow

We were meeting at three

So I decided to leave early

As I wanted to be the first one to get there

I settled on a comfy couch

Ordered a cup of tea

And tried to look relaxed and confident

A few minutes later

And I get a text from the boy saying he is running a few minutes late

Damn

All this waiting was making me even more nervous

I started to worry

About what we would talk about

What he would think of me

What if idid or said something really embarrassing

What if the second I saw him

I jumped his bones

This was a lot more likely to happen than you would think

Remember I haven't dated in a long long time

To get out of my head

I picked up a newspaper 

I was sitting by the door

Do every time the door opened 

I looked up to see if it was him

Eventually he arrived

And apologised for being late 

He sat down beside me on the couch

He looked different to what I remembered

When I knew him years ago

He had a shaven head

Tattoos all over

Clean shaven

Now he has long hair

And a beard no less 

I think I said before that he is attractive in a kind of earthy manly way

Lovely eyes

 And a smile that could break hearts 

We got straight to catching up

Talked about people we knew

Where they are now

Talked about the drug

And how fucked up we were back then

We laughed

Laughed a lot

Always a good sign in my book

He told me that he has a son

And he is single

What a coincidence

So am I

We chatted for a long time

Then he went out for a smoke

And I went to the bathroom

We settled back down again

And spoke for another while

It was nice

No awkward silences

He is easy to talk to

Easy to get on with

But then

He always was

After a couple of hours

I stretched

And said I better go

We finished our drinks

And went outside

Then came the awkward bit

We had said good bye

Yet we were still standing looking at each other

I was thinking to myself should I hug him?

Does he want to kiss me?

I really couldn't gauge the situation

And I felt so silly just standing there

So I made a move to go

And said goodbye again

Even though it was obvious he was holding out for something

Sorry dude

I don't kiss on the first date

Actually that's a lie

I have kissed plenty of boys on a first date

But there was one big difference

I was either drunk or stoned

Dealing with dating and the like stone cold sober is a whole different kettle of fish let me tell you

I need to pace myself 

I got home and had a chat with my sister

I told her that I think I just want us to be friends

But I'm really not sure

I guess I don't know what I want

I felt a bit bad that I hadn't at least hugged him when I left

So I decided to text him

To tell him that it was great to see him

And to text me when he wants to meet again

He texted back and said it was great to see me too

And that I 'looked great'

What does that mean?

What does that mean people?

Is he just being nice?

Or does he like me?

Man I am so rusty and out of practice

Even though this is all very nerve wracking and confusing

I must say

It is great fun

I had forgotten how nice it feels to like someone

To get butterflies

I think this is progress ladies

Even if nothing happens between me and him

At least I have had some fun

And made a new friend

Now

Next mission

Second date here I come.......