Monday, 23 March 2015

Day 3

Just to give you an update on the 90 day challenge
It's turning out not to be as straight forward as I thought

Monday is doctor day as you know
I was up early 
And my mum the dogs and I headed in to the surgery
Mum took the dogs for a walk while I went to see my doctor
He asks how I am
I explain that I am doing better
And getting to more meetings
He asks me to do a drug test
Which is no problem as I know I haven't used 
The only reason it will be positive is if there are still reminints of the drug in my system
I retire to the rest room
And do the delicate balancing act of peeing in to a little cup
Thankfully I go with little effort
I clean up
And flush
And head back in to my doctor
He checks it after a minute
It's negative
That's good
That's progress I think
At least now I know I am drug free

The next topic he brings up is that of my methadone reduction
He reminds me we were going to drop it today
I ask if we can wait one more week
He agrees
I am relieved 

I go and collect my meds
And head down to the beach to meet my mum
I take my meds in the car
I am still on daily dispensing
My doctor told me he will change that next week
We head home
And I sleep for a few hours
Mum goes to work at about four 
She tells me I shouldn't go in to town tonight as the weather is due to be bad
I had planned to go to a meeting
And I really wanted to go 
Against my better judgement 
I set off for the meeting at eight
However about 10 minutes later I have to pull in
As it is beginning to sleet
I ring my dad to ask him if the weather was due to get worse
He said it was 
And suggested I turn back
I don't want to
But I know it would be foolish to continue on
So I swing my car around 
And head home

I feel mildly annoyed that I didn't get to my meeting
As I really wanted to do 90 in 90 days
But as my mum said
I did my best to get there
My intentions were good
And I can make up for it during the week

The next meeting is tomorrow lunch time
So I am looking forward to that
I know that sometimes the universe conspires 
And life doesn't turn out the way we want or expect
And that's ok
Shit happens
Tomorrow is a new day
And all I can do is my best 


  1. Like I told you I did 90 in 90 when I was early in recovery. Sometimes circumstances do prevent you from making it to a meeting but that doesn't meen you have to throw in the towel for the day. I tried to always do at least something to stay spiritually connected to recovery every day even if I couldn't get to a meeting whether it was reading the literature, talking to a fellow addict on the phone, doing some meditation, writing some step work , etc. Making sure I set aside time to work on recovery stuff wasn't always easy, and definitely wasn't always something I wanted to do, but I had made a commitment and I tried really hard to honor it.
    I'm super proud of you Ruby, I know you can do this. You are so strong.

    1. Thanks Sarah
      So great to hear from someone who has been there
      I guess there are many ways to honour my recovery
      And I will get back on track tomorrow
      I'm actually surprising myself that o am so eager to do this
      Only two weeks ago going to a meeting seemed nigh on impossible
      But now anything seems possible
      Thank you so much for your encouragement
      It means a lot x

  2. you tried to go and were disappointed not to get there so it can't be helped,good luck today ,jo x

  3. Oh well some things aren't in our control. It's okay, you always have tomorrow dear :) Have fun at the meeting tomorrow! (or not? I tend to say have fun anyway :P )


    1. This is true Christie
      Today is a new day x


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