Are we all addicts?

I've written this post maybe twice before

First back in 2012

After I watched the documentary by the same name presented by Cherry Healy

And again in 2013 when I did an updated version

Now it's July 2015 

So I think we are due an update 

To see if we are still hanging on to the same old addictions?

Have we moved on?

Have we acquired new ones?

Where are we on the spectrum that is addiction?

The reason that I am writing this post today

Is that I was listening to the radio this morning

To one of the phone on shows

And one woman had rung in with a problem she was having 

She described how she couldn't stop buying scratch cards

And was spending a huge amount of money on them every week

She felt she was spinning out of control

As she was lying to get husband and children 

And was using money from their joint savings account

So her husband was going to find out sooner or later

This lady was in a lot of distress 

And felt that she was addicted 

She described how she went from shop to shop to feed her addiction

And how it was taking over her life

And ruining her peace of mind

I could relate to this woman so much 

The only thing that was different was the substance

And that's the thing I have found over the years

The essence of addiction is the same

The lying 

The cheating 

The manipulation

The shame

The guilt 

The utter misery

But the substance can vary wildly from person to person

In my case it was alcohol and drugs to begin with

And that morphed in to other addiction over the years

As I always say

It's the same shit

Different substance

I think I was born with an addictive personality

Addiction and mental health issues are rife on my fathers side of the family

And in my own immediate family of six

Four of us have experienced addiction

Thankfully all four of us are in some form of recovery 

Which I am eternally grateful for

The first thing I became addicted to was sugar

I craved it constantly 

I think my food issues started at a very young age

I loved my food 

And I was such an active child that I burned it all off 

Had I not been so active 

I'm pretty sure that I would have had a weight problem

I ate that much

As I grew in to a young teenager 

I started shop lifting 

And that quickly became an addiction too

And has continued to be a problem up until very recently 

Stealing was par for the course when I was in active addiction 

And also featured a lot during my ED

As you know

I was caught shoplifting recently

Thankfully the shop owner decided not to call the cops 

I don't know why 

But she let me go

That whole day was a nightmare 

I kept thinking that I was in a dream

And that I was going to wake up any moment

But I didn't 

It was all very real

The guilt and shame I felt was overwhelming

I was so disappointed in myself

So annoyed that it had come to this

They only saving grace is that I have now stopped shoplifting 

I thank my lucky stars that I wasn't prosecuted

I know it could have turned out a lot different 

I was thinking of sending the shop owner an apology letter

But my gut toms me to leave well enough alone

So I did

Age fourteen

And I smoke weed for the first time

Over the next few years I dabble 

And age 18 I became addicted to heroin

As well as various other prescription meds

The next five years are a blur

Eventually I put the needle down

But I picked up alcohol and pills

As my world began to crumble around me

I knew I had to get clean and sober

I was put on methadone

And that helped me to get stable

Since then I've had many slips and relapses 

But that's part and parcel of recovery

From the age of 14 

I was a heavy smoker

And smoked 30 a day

Spending €100 a week on cigarettes 

I loved smoking 

And if I was rich 

I have no doubt that I would still be smoking 

I didn't give up for health reasons 

I wish I could say that I did

But I gave up because I couldn't afford them

It's as simple as that 

I am now almost one year smoke free

But as is the pattern with me 

When I get one addiction under control

Another one spins out of control

And at the moment 

That is internet shopping 

Over the last year 

I have bought clothes every week 

Mostly on line 

I see something I like

I think my life would be complete if I had that item of clothing 

I order it on line

And basque in the delight that there is a parcel on its way to me

And getting said parcel is such a buzz

Taking it in to the house

And testing it open is such a rush

Better than Christmas

I try the item on

And for those few minutes I am satisfied

I wear the item once 

The novelty wears off

And I am back on the hunt on the Internet for the next item

It's getting out of control though 

Seriously 

My bedroom is bursting at the Sean's with clothes

I shit you not

Other addictions I have are drinking tea

I drink 15 -20 cups of hot sweet tea a day

I am constantly boiling the kettle

And I enjoy every single one of them

I'm drinking air more since I quit smoking 

It's just really comforting to have a piping hot cup of tea

It warms my body and my soul

White chocolate

Another addiction

It has to be Millybar

No other bar will do

Millybar is soft and creamy and it melts in your mouth

I buy five family size bars a day 

And eat every single one of them

They don't always have them in my local shop

So when I see them

I tend to stock up

So today I bought ten

But that won't even last me two days

I just can't get enough of the stuff

Hunky Dorys

These are crisps 

Or chips if you are from the U.S.

It has to be this brand

And it has to be salt and vinegar flavour

I'm ashamed to admit

That I sometimes have these for my breakfast

I buy two family size bags a day

And again 

Stock up when I can 

I swear it's a wonder that I am not obese

What else?

Since I bought my first iPhone last year

I am pretty much addicted to it

It's like another limb

I'm so attached to it

Television

I am such a tv addict

I love to lose myself in a show

It takes me out of my own head

And my own thoughts

It's an escape for me

I watch everything from dramas

To trashy reality tv

I don't discriminate

Meds 

I'm on variety of meds

Including methadone 

Not one but two anti depressants

And a high dose anti anxiety meds

I mean it's a wonder I'm still standing I take so much medication

I am mentally and physically addicted 

And can't imagine life without them

Reading 

I love a good book

I guess this is a very healthy addiction to have 

I read the same books over and over again

There is something so comforting about that

Other addictions include exercise to a certain extent

Purging 

Which is the Bain of my life 

Sleep 

I love to sleep 

And love going to bed at night

I adore that time of the night 

When I get in to bed 

Those few minutes before I fall asleep 

When my body and mind are exhausted 

My head is clear 

Not a care in the works 

And then slip in to the land of nod 

I love it

With all that said

I was wondering about you

What are you addicted to?

Do you have an addictive personality?

How do you deal with your addictions?

Fo they help or hinder your life?

Answers on a postcard please....