I had written a post about animals
And animal abuse
And was promptly told that I was a hypocrite because I eat meat
I went back and deleted a lot of the post because I didn't want any more comments in the same vein
Some of you lovely ladies jumped to my defence
And I am so grateful for that
It's no secret that I love animals
And my dogs are my whole world
But I'm also recovering from a life threatening eating disorder
I am not in the habit of cutting out whiole food groups
As that plays in to my ED
When I was growing up
I thought long and hard about becoming vegetarian
And was one for a short while
But I was so active
And wasn't getting enough nutrition from other foods
So I went back to eating meat
It's very easy for an anonymous commenter to say their piece
They are hiding behind the anonymity of a computer screen
Safe on the knowledge that their identity is well guarded secret
It's easy to point the finger
To point out what someone is doing is wrong
And to say it in a sarcastic and cutting tone
Don't get me wrong
I'm a big girl
And can handle such comments
99% of the comments I get are positive, well considered and thoughtful
It's only the very odd comment that is nasty
And of course it's always written anonymously
I write my blog every day
So I guess I am bound to piss someone off at some point
As a blogger
I put myself out there for the world to see
And to judge
As I move on in recovery
I write less and less about my illness
And more about my life outside my ED
As you know
I am honest here
More honest than I am in any other area of my life
And I am open to ridicule here
As is any blogger or vlogger
Or any one who has a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram account
People seem to love to take others down a peg or two
And point out what they are doing or saying wrong
I guess that's life though
You can't please all of the people all of the time
I'm so grateful to have genuine friends here
Who know me
And know that I try my best to be a good and honest person
I don't claim to be a saint
Or anything like one
I make mistakes
Usually on a daily basis
It's just that my mistakes are posted on the Internet for all and sundry to see
God knows I am far from perfect
And I don't try to be
I am human
I am a girl trying to recover from severe addiction and a chronic eating disorder
Forgive me if I choose to eat
For a long time I deprived myself of food
I guess I was a vegetarian by default
As meat was one of the foods that I avoided
Now
I choose to have a varied diet
Including meat
And I don't apologise for that
That does not mean that I can't be an animal lover
Of course I can
As I wrote yesterday
I feel a great affinity with animals
More so than with humans a lot of the time
So please anonymous
Don't tell me what is and isn't right for me
Only I can decide that
This matter has got me thinking about the Internet
And social media
And how we post so much of our lives online
Everything we do
Everything we eat
Every feeling we feel
Every high
And every low
I am not a huge Facebooker
And don't use Tumblr, Twitter or Instagram
I use my blog to document my life
However
I am thinking of opening a Twitter account
Just as another facet to my writing
But posting every little thing we do
Is it a good idea?
Sometimes i take an odd look at FB
Some of the stuff on there is interesting, funny or thought provoking
But there is also an awful lot of crap on there
And you have to sift through a lot of it to get to the good stuff
I blog because I love to write
And I love to have my life documented
It is such a roller coaster
And it's nice to have it all recorded
With photos too
I read back over it sometimes
And it's like reading about someone else
It's very strange
But amazing also
With all that said
I was wondering about you
Do you use any other social media?
Why or why not?
Do you think it's healthy to post so much about ourselves?
Why or why not?
Have you ever been the target of abuse from anonymous commenters?
How did you deal with it?
Answers on a postcard please.....
I didn't read the comments yesterday to see what the person wrote (and as a vegetarian, I can certainly agree with their argument... but I tend to take a very diplomatic approach when broaching the subject!) and I don't think anyone should be judged based on their diet. Your case is a perfect example - you're recovering from an ED and that's not easy to do no matter what you eat. (Although some more of my two cents... I'd love to see you eat something more nutritious than white chocolate for brekkie :-P ) Annnnyway, if the idea of vegetarianism/veganism ever interests you at some point, please check our Gena Hamshaw's blog "Choosing Raw". She's a nutritional counselor/blogger/cookbook author/vegan/recovered from an ED and she is amazing. She promotes an idea she calls "green recovery" about finding the happy balance between an ethical diet and an ED recovery-supportive one. Most clinicians would probably see vegetarianism or veganism as a way to hide ED symptoms... her positions is that it doesn't have to be, and can be very healing. Plus, it's certainly possible to be really healthy and athletic on a vegetarian/vegan diet... it just takes some dedication.
ReplyDeleteI promise, promise, promise, I am not judging you for eating meat, Miss Ruby! I want you to be happy and healthy, no matter what it takes.
As for nasty blog comments... I would have to go back and read this person's comment, but I want to make sure you're not confusing a differing opinion with abuse. Obviously, there's a way to nicely say you disagree and there's a nasty way to do that... and if s/he was being nasty, by all means tell 'em to bugger off. If s/he was just stating a dissenting opinion, I actually think that's a good thing to have in a blog comment conversation. Blog comments can become tedious and boring when they're just the same "oh I love this post" x100. I suppose it's a nice ego boost, but you created dialogue with that last post and that's certainly worthwhile!
Lots of love (and a bit of plain devil's advocate!)
I know that you are not judging me hun
DeleteAnd I appreciate your thoughts on this subject as I know you are vegetarian
I agree with you though
Blog posts should create discussion
And of course not everyone will agree
What a boring place the world would be if we all had the same opinions
I also think Julia's comment yesterday was helpful
Gently but firmly putting her point across
However anon was just plain rude
And that upset me a little
For ethical reasons
I would love to stop eating meat
I guess I need to educate myself on the alternatives to meat
And learn to eat all over again
Thanks for this comment hun
It's been really helpful
Hope all is well with you x
Really though it's not appropriate on an ED blog
DeleteThat's basically kicking someone when they're down.
Also veganism can be a gateway into food fad eating and onto ED. It happened to me. I think because "food morals" feed into the whole food =good/bad thing.
again, it's highly inappropriate.
Some people just can't help being nasty and it's a shame. :/ Sadly, the more popular a blog is, the more anonymous hate it attracts. I've been lucky, only a tiny handful in the years I've been blogging. It doesn't bother me when I do get anonymous mean comments, though. If someone is so cowardly they have to stay anonymous to leave negative comments, they're not worth my time.
ReplyDeleteI love animals, but I will also never stop eating them. I think you can do both with a clear conscience if you're selective about where you get your meat. You probably have an easier time with that than we do, living in Ireland.... I try to stick to the farmers markets, and things like eggs I mostly get from people I know who have chickens. I will not eat things that are treated horribly, like foie gras, that's just sick. I'll cuddle and snuggle and spoil that adorable animal to bits, and when it's time for stew, the chubby muffin won't know what hit it. That's how I feel about eating meat.
As for social media, I don't go on it much except to keep in touch with friends and family who live far away. Personally, I'd rather stay off the grid.
xo!
I agree Mich
DeleteIf the animal led a good life
And was slaughtered in a humane way
I think it's ok
I draw the line at veal though
And fois gras
I don't get many nasty comments
But the few that I do get can be really horrible
And go straight for the jugular
I'm not going to waste any time worrying about it though
My conscience is clear x
normally, Ruby darling, since you post so often, i sometimes tend to skip many posts and only comment a bit here and there - simply because your posts can be very thought provoking and interesting and many times i am not in the mental space for it. i do not mind you posting as often as you do, it is a part of your routine now and i do not think that it's bad or anything.
ReplyDeleteyou are one of the very few bloggers i know that blog daily and that is always something i admire and adore.
"And was promptly told that I was a hypocrite because I eat meat"
this is an interesting concept. see, interestingly enough, i wanted to turn vegetarian/vegan for some time during recovery. i was a vegetarian pre-ED and continued on in during ED. during recovery, i started to consume meat again. i contemplated it for a while and then came to the conclusion that in the food chain, we are made to consume meat. i would not come to a lion and tell him to change his ways.
we are animals too.
honestly, i believe that nobody can be fully vegetarian or vegan without being compassionate to human beings as much as they are to animals. biologically speaking, we are animals. the difference between us and the apes is very minimal. we are part of the animal kingdom. thus, a vegan/vegetarian that does not treat humans kindly is actually against the whole idea of vegetarianism/veganism. thus, i find it ironic that your anon comment actually said that since i think that attacking and judging people is against the moral and ethical concept of vegetarianism.
that and another part of it is that i only eat halal meat as per my religion. no animal has been slaughtered in a brutal manner just so i could consume it. a halal killing is the most painless way to kill an animal for the purpose of consuming it.
i do not have a reason to abstain from meat products that way. my body was engineered to consume meat. your body will accept something like iron more readily from an animal source than it is for a plant source. this is not to say that vegans/vegetarians are not healthy. many of them eat way better than i, and many of them take care of their bodies. however, considering that the closest fruit i consume is a packet of Skittles, it is not wise for me to abstain from animal products.
"I choose to have a varied diet
Including meat
And I don't apologise for that"
and that is your right. that is also why i started to consume meat during recovery. i was also not getting enough nutrients via the vegetarian way despite increasing my intake of things that are good for me. despite eating a whole lot of produce and being a lot healthier than i am now, i had a B12 deficiency. now i pretty much only eat junk food + very little amounts of animal protein but i no longer have any form of a deficiency.
"Plus, it's certainly possible to be really healthy and athletic on a vegetarian/vegan diet... it just takes some dedication." <--the comment above is right. it does need some dedication, of which i do not have and is probably why i ended up being deficient in something so vital. many vegans/vegetarians i know also have iron problems due to the fact that animal iron is more easily consumed than plant iron. thus, you might have to watch your iron levels and maybe take a tablet (just a note because i care for you and do not want you to be ill. iron deficiency causes people to be anaemic, and then they become overly fatigued and easily bruise. i've had so many people complain about the fatigue they get from their iron deficiency and it's so sad to see them so exhausted).
open a Twitter account if you like.
writing is a beautiful thing and you do it well.
do anything that makes you feel good. you deserve it.
-Sam Lupin
Thanks Sam
DeleteYou are insightful as always
Yes I like to post every day
It gives my day some structure
And I like the habit of it
It provides me with a little bit of discipline
I don't know much about Twitter
But I am excited to find out
My brother is a writer
And he's on it
So I will ask him all about it x
i am so sorry didn't read other comments yesterday so didn't know, most anon commenters seem to just want to stir things up than have a genuine grievance.
ReplyDeletegrew up farms where it was just the norm and seen good and bad, would certainly never say you what you should eat there is many arguments both sides.as for social media i don't do it at all, just read you. it scares me a bit to be honest,but then thats me. chin up sweetheart ,you are a good and lovely person. jo xxx
Thanks Jo
DeleteThe last couple of days have been stressful
As I try to make sense of my own views and opinions
My conscience is clear though
And I don't have to justify my actions to anyone
Love to you x
also i love love that you blog everyday,its like i look forward to it everyday,it kind of keeps me going/ no pressure mind! xx
DeleteI can't deal with anons, personally. I disabled them within the first 6 months of having my blog, I think. It's supposed to be a safe outlet and I didn't need them ruining that. If someone wants to contact me, that's why my email's there. And funny thing, I've never had a mean anon take the time and effort to email me.
ReplyDeleteI don't use much social media at all these days outside of blogger. I think it's just an extension of my social anxiety in general.
<3
xxxx
I am thinking of blocking anons too Bella
DeleteJust so they don't have the opportunity to be nasty
As I'm guessing they would never write such comments under their own name
What cowards!! X
I use Facebook, Instagram and blogger as my main form of social media. I've had one anon tell me on my blog that my condition doesn't exist along with mental illness and that psychology is a bogus science. They also sent me links to articles "proving" this to be true. The articles were not well researched at all.
ReplyDeleteI called the anon out and challenged them to comment under their real name. Of course they haven't been back. Pretty much all the comments I get are positive.
Unfortunately people hide behind a screen and like to tell us we're wrong because they have nothing better to do.
I hope it hasn't effected you too much and that you're doing okay.
Thinking of you xx
Gosh that's awful Anne
DeleteHow dare they!
Some people I just don't understand
But I guess that's the Internet for you
Did you disable anon comments? X
I haven't disabled anonymous comments, but I don't get too many of them. For the most part the comments I get are positive.
DeleteI hope you're doing okay xx
I love my cats to bits and I still eat meat. I have a hunting license. I have attended slaughters since I was a toddler. Some animals we eat, some we keep for pets. So?
ReplyDeleteI use Facebook (only for family), Twitter (following fiends, never writing) and Instagram (just to follow people). I have many personas out there, where Facebook is the only one connected to me :)