Sunday, 13 May 2012

Ana & Mia

I weighed this morning. I've gained. Enough to spin me into a black hole of depression.
I know it's because of my sleep binging, waking up a couple of times a night to have a midnight feast.
I disgust myself right now.

Why do I put myself through this? I could have chosen not to weigh this morning and I would have been none the wiser.
I wish I didn't measure my worth by the number on the scales. I wish you didn't either.
I wish I had enough self esteem to accept myself the way I am. I wish you did too.
I wish I wanted recovery. I wish you wanted it too.
I want to want to recover, if that makes sense.
I wish anorexia hadn't chosen me.
I wish I was comfortable in my own skin.
I wish I hadn't pushed all my friends away.
I wish I had the courage to go back to my support group.
I wish that I don't spend today binging and purging.

Fuck you ana.
Fuck you even harder mia.


  1. Thanks for the follow. Keep your head up sweetheart.

  2. Hey, sorry you are off to a rough start today. *hugs* I hope your day gets better. Just focus on burning those calories off with dancing today. Focus on your performance and then come back and kick ana and mia in the ass.


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