Wednesday, 16 May 2012


A couple of posts ago I wrote that I wished I had the courage to go back to my support group. The next day I received a text from an old friend, someone that I used to go to meetings with all the time and considered him a good friend. He also had pulled away from meetings and was texting to ask me if I wanted to go to a meeting with him, the thinking being that it would be easier to go together rather than alone. I pretty sure my ex-sponsor would say that that was my higher power at work, that there are no coincidences. Do I believe that?Well I guess it would be nice to think that someone or something heard my cry for help and intervened but the cynical side of me says it was just a coincidence. Either way I was glad to get the text. I can't get to a meeting this week because of the dancing but hopefully I'll meet my friend next week and get my ass to a meeting. But it got me thinking, do any of you believe in a higher power? Do you believe that someone is looking out for you? When I was in recovery I definitely believed and handed over my day every morning. It did help and it was a comfort. Now I'm so far away from recovery it's hard to believe I will ever get back there. But I have to, for my physical and mental health. True I have managed to stay away from drugs but I'm still abusing my meds so isn't that the same thing. Ay ay ay, my brain is fryed.  I f you were me would you go back to meetings? I'd love to know what you think.

In other news, my dance classes photo is in the local paper today so I'm going to collect it now. Exciting!!

Just got back from the shop, our photo is great although I thought I looked fat but that's nothing new. I can't quite believe that this dance show is going ahead on Saturday. Even though we've been preparing for it for the last two months I don't feel quite ready. There are 3 group dance and then a dance with our partner. Fingers crossed!!

I cancelled my appointment with Mary my therapist today to avoid being weighed. I know I'm just postponing the inevitable but I just can't face it, not today.

Hope you are all well,

Lots of lovexxx


  1. Good morning! That is pretty exciting about having you picture in the paper even with a group. I am sure everything will go fine on saturday and I am looking forward to hearing about it.

    Hey that is pretty cool the guy you know texted when you needed him the most. I know it must be hard to go back to meetings but at least you have someone to go with. I know that would make me feel better. I would go back to the meeting if I had that guy with me. I am sort of a punk and would not want to go back alone. It's hard for me to admit to a group of people I feel off the wagon.

    Like I had signed up for Jenny Craig last year. I did okay on it. I stopped showing up for my weekly meetings like back in January I think......anyway I thought they would call wanting to know how I was doing. Not one phone after all the money I have given them and the secrets I told them. That is okay. When I get half way to my goal I plan to walk my happy half skinny ass back in there and rub it in their faces. Sorry my response is long today ^_^ lol

  2. I'm far to cynical to believe in a higher power like that - I don't think I confided myself important enough to be helped like that, but it must be a nice thing to be able to believe and I can see how it would help you :)
    I think you should definitely go to the support group! It's always good to have support, just to give you that extra push in the right direction and it would be good for your friend as well :)
    I'm sure you don't look fat in the picture at all! And your dance will go great! Good luck :)
    I think it's best to just go for it with your therapist - Im great at putting things off too, but the longer you do it, the worse it seems! Just go for it :)
    Thanks for the comment and reading my blog :)
    Lottie x

  3. Thanks :) haha I'm not even in college - Im in the last year of GCSE, so two more years to uni :) so many exams though :(
    Yeah it is one of the ones I can't follow :/ it's happened with three so far!
    Lottie x

  4. Just wanted to show you some love...hope you're having a great day! :)

  5. You will do just fine on Saturday =) I do believe someone higher is watching over me and my boys, but I don't think He has interviened in my life. I hope you can get back to the meetings. They will be good for your recovery =)

  6. I'd go back to meetings if I were you:) The timing seems perfect; you want to go back, and you have someone to go with. I don't believe in a higher power, I believe we create our own lives. Take care sweetie xx

  7. I believe there is a higher power watching over us. God is real. He can help anyone and everyone.


Thank you for leaving some love x