Tuesday, 15 May 2012

I was reading 'Winters' last post, she wrote about how she is trying to  lose weight the healthy way.
This got me thinking about myself and the ways that I lose weight. I definitely don't lose weight the healthy way, in fact I think it's fair to say that I'm pretty self destructive in the ways I lose weight ie restricting, purging, laxatives and purging. I've always been self destructive starting with drug and alcohol addiction at 18, then my eating disorder took up where my drug addiction left off.

Also when I get blood tests done or have a bone scan or an ECG, part of me hopes that the results come back abnormal. Why? Because if I have abnormal results then that means I must have an eating disorder because a lot of the time I doubt I have an eating disorder at all. These results are proof that I have an ed and they are like trophies. I know that id totally weird right? Does anyone else  think like this?

That brings me to my next question, why don't I care enough about myself to look after my body? It is a temple after all. I'm not sure of the answer to this question. I'm sure having low self esteem doesn't help, not caring whether you live or die doesn't help, wanting to be thin no matter what doesn't help. I wish I had more respect for me and my body. My mother takes a cocktail of vitamins and supplements in the morning but it would never even occur to me to take them. I suppose I take my health for granted and never consider that someday it could give out on me. What about you, do you take your health in to consideration when trying to lose weight? I sure don't.and my body pays the price.

In other news, our dance show is in this Saturday so it's a busy week preparing for it. I'm nervous but excited. I'll definitely have to find something to replace it when it's over. Maybe another dance class or zumba.

Welcome new followers, thanks for following me.

Much lovexxx


  1. Sometimes I feel like I'm too jiggly, too fat for an ED. So proof is understandable. I take vitamins in the morning. I take a prenatal because it has everything you need except protien. Unfortunately you have to get that from food. I guess if I took my health into consideration, I wouldn't have an ED lol.

  2. Hi. Sounds like you have been doing a lot of thinking. In all honesty I do really think what I am doing is truly the healthy way. I mean I am using meal replacement shakes and that is a temporary fix. I have to take small steps for them to impact me. I will explain more that on my blog need to take up your space and time here.

    I say just take it a step at a time. Your exercise schedule is pretty awesome exactly. You inspired me to jog this morning. I think you just need to tweak your eating habits but not all at once. This may be able to help prevent the binges. I know my binges are all emotional so it really sucks. I mean people feel things and I am a very sensitive person.

    You stay strong lady, you are doing great! *hugs*

  3. Hey, it's Reovering Anorexic. Can I add you to my blogroll?

  4. Hey thanks for following darling


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