Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Technical issues

The day before yesterday I managed to kill my laptop.
I had taken 3 of my anti anxiety meds and was very sleepy, I was on the computer with a cup of tea in my hand
and I must have dozed off for3 seconds because when I looked down there was tea on the keyboard. Now the stupid thing won't turn on and I feel like bouncing it off the wall. I'm just angry at myself for being so stupid.
So if I don't post regularly or comment on your blogs this is why. The only other computer I can get to is in the library.

Anyway a very quick update. I saw Mary yesterday and she weighed me. I'm down just over a kilo from last week. Not too shabby. I'll be keeping a a close eye on my weight from now on to avoid another rapid gain like before. Mia has not gone completely but she is definitely only working part time. Actually I think her and ana are job sharing at the moment. I don't know if I posted this before but my ed drives me to do odd things, shoplifting being one of them. When mia is around it can get very exspensive constantly stockin up on food so I have been known to shoplift. I know it's such a sneaky thing to do and I am very ashamed of it. But today I went to the supermarket with my dad and I put some treats for my dog in my bag and walked out of the shop. As I was walking over to my car I heard someone shout 'hello' behind me. My heart was thumping as I turned around to face what I thought was a security guard but it was just somebody on their phone. The relief.
I will definitely dedicate a post to shoplifting soon and explain in more detail what drives me to do it. I'd love to know if any of you have experienced this. I remember them telling me in treatment that there is a link between eating disorders and shoplifting so there must be others.

Ok, I better go, I'm in the library and my time is nearly up. Hopefully I'll be able to sort something out with my own computer soon.

Hope you are all well,

Much love x


  1. Hey, I am sorry about your laptop.. I did a similar thing when drunk I managed to smash the keyboard and some reason it wont turn on.. My bf had bought me a net book though for uni so I use this as my laptop now - terrible I know but it does the job! I hope you can get it sorted? Maybe get it repaired or claim on some sort of insurance? Ask your parents maybe..? I dont know.. Well done for being down over 2 kilos, it pains me to say well done as I know I shouldnt be encouraging this.. But I know when you see the numbers drop it is such a relief and a victory.. I understand. I am glad Mia is on holiday right now and I do hope she doesnt come back any time soon.. I wish you all the best, Much love xxx

  2. I am so glad to hear from you. I sure was wondering what happened to you. I am sorry to hear what happened to your computer. Hopefully it will be fixed soon. I remember once I kicked mine while laying down on the bed and it went flying. Completely shook everything up on the inside. Yeah it sucked to get it fixed. I didn't have my computer for 3 weeks. Longest 3 weeks ever.

    I am like the plan of you not gaining so much at once. Plus that will give your skin time to adjust and no stretch marks. I have them really bad on my tummy.

    I am not judging you at all for shoplifting. I started when I was 9. I have learned to tame it better as I got older. I am still tempted though.

  3. The laptop thing... ( ´Д`)y━・~~ I am really sorry to hear that it doesn't turn on. Just a month ago I had the same problem with it - fucking annoying. Hopefully you'll be able to fix it somehow. Since writing blog on libraries sucks.

    I am sure you'll be able to handle your weight this time sweetheart (=´∀`)人(´∀`=)


Thank you for leaving some love x